So what do you do when you write a fearless and searching moral inventory, find the courage and acceptance to make amends for your part in a situation where the people you are making amends to actually screwed up? Your part was simply getting upset with them for their behavior. How do you make amends when they think they are innocent and you are unreasonable? What you do is attempt to make contact for the sole purpose of apologizing for your part. Perhaps they are so righteous that they won’t meet with you. What do you do? You move on, that’s what you do. And that is what I did. Done.

It’s a gorgeous sunny day today. Perfect Autumn day. Misty morning followed by glorious blues juxtaposed with intense reds and golds. Spent some time outside at lunch with my face lifted to the sun. Niiiiice.

This weekend was The Ex’s Birthday Weekend. We had a pretty darned good time too. Friday we went to see Elizabeth: The Golden Age with some friends. We both loved the movie with one caveat. 2-3 scenes of completely gratuitous violence. I really don’t need to see HOW they cut out someone’s tongue. I just need to know that they did it. Gah. Aside from that it was a feast for the eyes. Costumes? Glorious. Period accurate? Hmmmm, not an expert but probably only sort of accurate. But gorgeous none the less. Amazing scenes and photography. And Clive Owen?? Ever since King Arthur I’ve been intrigued. But in Elizabeth? Aside from the fact that he never blinks in a scene he is one fine man to feast your eyes upon. Yes indeed. And boy does he look good in Tudor/Elizabethan clothing. Told you so. Ow.

Saturday was nice with a slow awakening. After The Ex opened presents from his family, I dashed home to get the birthday feast on the table and his presents wrapped. Afterwards we went to the Gaia’s Temple Spiraldance Fundraiser and had a really good time. It was just the rightsize for me. Anything too big and I get a bit antsy really. Ayeshadream met us there and did me the honor of bidding for, and winning, two of my donated pieces. Everything I donated sold and that made me very happy.

The Ex was so very sweet and won a bid for a new bread bowl for me. On his own birthday. It is really gorgeous. Hand made with the slab technique, the outside has a clear glaze so that the terra cotta color gleams. The inside is glazed with blues blacks whites and a dash of green in an abstract oak leaf pattern. Dots in the main colors circle the brim. I made brownies in it on Sunday. It is just what I needed since my bread mixing bowl of over 20 years broke in my last move. It was a wedding present in 1981 and while I loved the size of it and the look it did have memories attached I didn’t really want to be part of my baking. So I am just in heaven. I see many years of happy mixing in this work of art.

Oh and the Spiraldance? Lovely, lovely pre-Samhain ritual. 5 beautfiul altars. A very long spiral dance. Wonderful company. It did my little pagan heart good. Looking for a smaller more formal ritual with some of the same people on the 31st. It’s so very nice to have a beloved partner who shares your spirituality. Truly a special gift.

I was exhausted by Sunday and totally crashed after work Monday evening. Normally I have a Monday 12 step meeting but I fell asleep and woke up too late to get there. And that was aside from the fact that I had a very difficult time swimming up to the surface of consiousness. It was one of those times when your mind AND body are discombobulated and disconnected from what we call reality. I guess I really needed some extra sleep.

It was so nice to be able to celebrate his birthday in this way this year. He got a resounding smack on the lips from the High Priestess who was sorry she hadn’t known or everyone would have had to sing the H.B. Song

So, here it is, just for you honey.