I keep getting validation of late. It’s as if, once I stopped beating myself up for getting angry this summer, all kinds of examples of appropriate anger started popping up.

This is part of a post from Spiritual Cowgirl this morning.

Yesterday I went to a neighborhood café to write. As I was waiting in line to order my chai, the young woman working the counter suddenly yelled “SIR! STOP IT! STOP TAKING MY TIPS!!!! SIR!! And then she jumped up on top of the counter, spilling the drink she had just made. The guilty man dropped her money back into the tip jar and stepped back. She climbed off the counter and said “I will give you a free coffee if you need one, but don’t you dare take my tips!” But by that time, the owner, a sweet middle aged woman had come running up and she told the thief to leave immediately.

We were all shocked. Frozen. It was one of those crazy moments where you’re not quite sure what the hell is happening, because there is yelling and fear and anger and the energy gets super thick. But, as soon as I understood the situation I calmed down, and then watched her serve the rest of the customers and apologize, to one person after another for her outburst. I noticed something as I watched, and this is not a judgment, it’s an observation of a very small group of people, but, the men were totally freaked by her. They didn’t know how to answer her apology or even really look at her. It was fascinating.

Then, two women who were right ahead of me, answered her apology with a “that was awesome! Good job!”. I breathed and smiled and felt reassured about humanity. And when it was my turn, I looked her in the eyes and said “you have no need to apologize for using your voice. We all need to do that more, especially women, especially when someone is crossing a line. And we have no reason to feel bad about that. You truly were awesome, inspiring!” She smiled and blushed and I smiled and moved on.

[snip]

Chai now finished I flashed back through this past week in N.Y.C. I thought about how I had to use my yoni/divine spark/voice with Old Bearded White Man and how tempting it was to feel bad about it, guilty for it, not “spiritual” for feeling anger towards him. I also thought about how I had to use my voice this past week (not so loudly, but definitely with the same healthy self-protective/self-defining energy) to claim my space within two very intimate and beloved relationships. And again, I experienced the fear of hurting them, and the guilt for speaking my truth and holding my ground.

And then I flashed back to the café counter girl, and my reaction to her bold actions. How I loved her for doing what she did. How brave I thought she was. How “right” I thought she was. Because I knew she had every right to claim her space, her money, her life, no matter what the other people in the cafe thought, and I suddenly realized that in watching her, I saw love. Fierce Love. I understood on a spirit level that her speaking out like that was an act of love, for her self and even for the man she yelled at.

And this from her comments:

I turned 30 this month and I feel like my divine cosmic birthday gift was a great big, bolder ability to speak my truth, to use my voice, to not lay down and die so as to maintain fake “peace”. What I’ve been newly acquainted with is an ability to live with anger, to use it, to have things be a little messy if that’s what they need to be.

Thank you thank you thank you.