All geared up to apply for that job.  Found my old resume and cover sheet for tweeking and updating.  Doing some checking, working on portfolio and then…

My boss brought by my yearly evaluation that we reviewed in August.  She needs me to refresh her memory about what I want to do to improve my skills etc this year.  So I started working on that.

And suddenly I was totally torn.  While the other job would be buku bucks it is an unknown regarding support, atmosphere, etc…  I don’t make as much money here because we are a complete non-profit academic research support.  Not much money in that.  A big information school is another matter entirely.  But the people?  For all their quirks, they put up with mine, I have two great bosses, the work is easy, learning curve is over….

Gonna percolate this weekend, will probably still apply if for no other reason than to put myself through the process.  I’ve been at this job 2 years come this February and it’s a good time to consider another advancement.  But it’s also been one hell of a rollercoaster year and part of me just wants to coast for awhile.  This new job would stretch me in many ways, all good, but stressful none the less.

And you know what? I am SOOOO grateful.  Two years ago this time I was getting ready to leave for three weeks in France to visit with my entire family over the holiday season.  And I couldn’t bear to return to my job.  It was abusive, horrifying atmosphere, but mostly a very nasty place to be.  And try as I might i couldn’t seem to find work anywhere.  I finally couldn’t take it and gave my notice, gee, 2 years ago yesterday actually.

Interesting time that.

And when I returned from France I filed for unemployment/voluntary quit based on a hostile work environment. My claim was accepted right out of the gate and two weeks after that I got this job.

I am not desperate to leave this time, which is one of the reasons I think I wasn’t making a good impression in interviews back then.  Also, my self esteem levels were bottom of the barrel and I wasn’t bringing good into my life.  Jumping without a job net was the best thing I have done for myself in recent memory.  Just leapt having faith that it would all work out because I do footwork.

And so.  Very interesting to me.  I am going to apply but if nothing happens that is totally cool.  I love it here.  It would just also be fun to be busier and to have money left over after paying the rent and the car.