Whee!!! Yesterday was so incredible. So screwed up and yet so incredibly empowering. My brother flies home to France with his son today. His wife and brother in law remain to stay with their father and to navigate the complicated waters of getting a terminally ill patient home via air. They will be staying in a hotel but I will still get to see them before they leave. This relieves the stress for everyone. Which desperately needed to happen. Because yesterday? My father grabbed my mother by the upper arms and started shaking her. OMG. We were beside ourselves. He did this in front of my 5 year old nephew who freaked out and ran to tell his papa, my brother. All Hell Broke Loose at 9am.
And I called The Ex and told him that I really needed some help. At the time I thought I was going to have to move four people and their luggage to a hotel. He wasn’t home and I left a message.
Later that afternoon The Ex called me. Said he was still mad at me because SNIB’s name was still in my blog. I thought I had caught her name in the entire post but was at the library and didn’t have the tools I needed to check it closely. Fine. Be mad. He was also pissed at me because Jillwheezul had implied he was poly. *sigh* Whatever. I am not responsible for the comments in my blog. Although I did clear it up with her. And the Skanky Nasty Bitch’s name has been removed to protect the Utterly And Completely Guilty. The Universe knows who the skanky hobag is. My blog doesn’t need to report it.
We had a really long talk. And he finally got really honest. FINALLY. Now I know that not only did he betray me but he lied about the fact that sometimes he did it on purpose. Which I did know. But he kept denying it and for some reason it was important to me that he admit it. He said that the refrain “screw you” was very much in the forefront of his mind at times. He finally admitted it. Thoughts become things and screw me he did. I believe that in many ways he imparted this to SNIBhobag and she acted on it. I was getting really tired of feeling like I was a suspicious woman when I was being deliberately betrayed.
But he’s still clueless about so many things. He printed my blog, including comments and URL and gave it to her.She now has access to my blog and my writing. Get it back. NOW. He has been instructed to retrieve said printout and burn it and to let her know that she is not welcome here. See below for the magical banishing to do what I can to keep her out of here. If she does come here she will feel the burn of contempt and scorn and that’s okay too. I will no longer give either one of them my pain.
And this next thing? Fills me with so much glee and happiness I can’t begin to tell you. She’s scared. Peeing her pants, frantically scared. She thinks that a banishment is a curse. Silver Ravenwolf defines banish as “to magickally end something or exorcise unwanted entities. To rid the presence of.” She has told her friends and they have told her that if they protect her and I banish (curse) her, it will bounce off her and harm or kill her animals. The Ex has tried to tell her I don’t do things like that and that her animals are not going to get a rebound hit but she won’t listen. Silly SNIB no need for protection. But if I were that kind of malevolent person or witch I seriously doubt they could protect her from me. Cuz they? Be Clueless too. (The clueless have found each other, pwaise Hestia!) They are all freaking out. And I didn’t have to do a darned thing. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. OMG I’ve been laughing over this ever since. Run scared bitch, run! What goes around comes around. I didn’t have to lift a finger. Three times three slap in the face and kick in the ass. Hahahahahahahaha. The rule of three really DOES work. *gleefulcackling*
Ahem. Decorum…
This woman calls herself a witch. But she knows very little about many things. First off, harm none. While she clearly doesn’t follow this tenet (and so it is that The Ex doesn’t either, who knew he could be such a shit to the woman he claimed to love), I certainly do to the best of my ability. And when I fail, I make amends. She can’t do that. Not yet any way. Add to that the fact that cursing her would bind her to me and I want to manifest the exact opposite. I want her out of my life in every way. I just don’t want to run into her at the places that bring me a spiritual center. Because The Ex? Has taken her to our places already. Words defy me on that one. And I would NEVER do anything to harm an animal. Buh bye silly stupid wannabe… It’s not that I hold newbies in contempt. Really. But this is a prime example of knowing enough to be dangerous. To yourself and others. And having it rebound very badly. As if I want that for myself.
She’s also terribly afraid, and so is The Ex, that the one person who does read my blog that knows SNIB is so immature that she would judge SNIB by what I write here. That my writing SNIB’s real name in my journal would somehow harm her in the SCA. She deserves it in my opinion, but thankfully, my friends make up their own minds about others and do not rely on the hurt feelings of me to turn their minds and hearts. I have full faith that The Ex and SNIB will get what they need without any interference on my part. All I have to do is walk away. God. Frikking Junior Highschool bullshit.
It’s really kind of sad that they both choose fear, but who am I to judge. I did too.
And all along the grasshopper was desperately trying to tell me to leap the hell out of there. And leap I have. Finally.
I did some spell work last night. Suddenly the timing of all this seems very good and correct. How can I ask for anything better than a Dark Moon in Capricorn to do a banishing when I’m dedicated to Hekate ? PERFECT! It is still Dark of the Moon in Capricorn so I complete the 4 spells now (I did three last night). How lovely, four spells, four quarters, four directions, four elements, four bad ass guardians.
Banishing the pain that The Ex gave me from my life? Check
Banishing SNIB from my presence for 3 months? Check
Welcoming in love and healing? Check
When I burned the paper that had her phone number on it, it refused to burn down. Took forever and half a lighter of fluid to burn that paper. Really very interesting.
Now….
Ground, center, cast a grounding circle, surround myself with the pink light of affinity, as above so below
Hekate, dark mother, loving crone, lightbringing companion, please hear my plea and it harm none
With burning black candle in my left hand circling widdershins
I banish A from reading this journal
I banish A from reading this journal
I banish A from reading this journal
With burning pink candle in my right hand circling deosil
I bring healing and love into my journal that all others may find peace, especially myself
I bring healing and love into my journal that all others may find peace, especially myself
I bring healing and love into my journal that all others may find peace, especially myselfSo Mote it Be
I give thanks Hekate for your never failing support and love. You have guided me to where I need to be, everything is in the exact right place. The people who deserve each other are together and I am with those who do truly love and honor me.
Blessed BeCircle is down but not closed, I am encircled with pink and gold light.
Banishing SNIB form my journal? Check.
And I did some fabulous tarot work past night. I see now how my time with The Ex has really prepared me for what is coming next. Every deck I used gave me Spring. New Beginnings. Got some really consistent stuff. And lots of stuff about new work, new jobs, better money, better life in general. And the last reading I did using only the major Arcana of the Lover’s Tarot? Hooo Doggie. He’s coming, he’s very close. It will happen soon.
Hades, Arthur, Osiris (with their ladies of course)
Left Alone, Betrayed, Healed by love. I think that summed it up nicely and it has turned my eyes and heart and soul out into the Universe so that I recognize my Healed Osiris when he appears.
Things I didn’t know when I met The Ex that I know now
I didn’t know if I could be a good andloving and supportive partner before I met him. I know that I not only am that but I go to extra lengths to do so. I know that I am capable of truly loving someone and being loved in return. I know that I am beautiful and I do thank him for that. I know that everything in my life is going to change very soon. I know that the Universe does indeed grant my every desire, I just need to hone my list. I forgot to ask for someone who is stable and someone who is mature emotionally and ready for a relationship. Doh! Forgot to ask for those things. I’m working on a new list.
Thank you The Ex for bringing me to this place. I had thought that I was supposed to have love with you but I see now I was just supposed to discover that I had it all along. May the Lord and Lady bring you peace, love, a feeling of wholeness (because you already are whole) and lots and lots of sparkles.
The tides have turned. This pain has moved through my life very rapidly, also something I asked for, and I really do feel pretty darned good. I know that my heart was seriously broken but it’s been broken for months and I can now move forward.
I am willing to let love flow into my life, for love to surround me with golden light, to love and be loved in return, to meet and be with my life partner.
May all find the love and healing they need after this extremely difficult time.
Stitch Witch Cottage 
Wow, I just don’t get letting the dialog break down to that degree. I don’t mean on your end, you seemed to try to discuss things whenever they came up.
I just don’t get staying in a relationship with someone when you actively think “screw you” before doign things you know will hurt them.
Where’s the balance, compassion, maturity or just simple “love” that he claimed to have for you? This isn’t how you love someone.
If she’s out to get a man at all costs (which is what it sounds like) karma will be knocking on both their door’s. I just don’t get women like this, who don’t care how they behave or who they hurt as long as they can land a man to somehow complete themselves. Anyone who claims to be a “witch” should have a much better concept of the rule of three and increasing returns than this.
Indeed. Supposedly she has a boyfriend but that means nothing when you have no honor… Poor guy, wonder when he gets his turn in the cauldron.
Thank you for saying those things. I just don’t get it either. But it helped so much to finally get admissions from both of them. And I really do love how their karmic reward has been so immediate for her. Poor Patrick, hope he’s up to it because it’s likely to be a doozy.
Oh and btw, if they’re worried about you somehow damaging her in the SCA- they only thing that can do that is _her_ behavior, and lack of honor. That’s not you doing anything to her, it’s others responding to her behavior / actions.
cause- effect. Funny how that works.
*wickedevilgrin* It’s so nice that one just doesn’t have to take any action and it just flows anyway…
Are you going to OLOTEAS Imbolg? For some reason I’m looking forward to it. It is suddenly my favorite holiday.
Those with a good radar saw her coming before she ever crossed me. I bet that folks have been talking about those two for some time. Their actions have been blatant and public, folks already know…. That’s my suspicion. What they take into consideration is that some of the folks who do love me will be sickened by this. But honestly, I’m going to stay away from Wyewood for awhile. It has not been very, very good to me of late.
So looking forward to seeing you and JillWheezul at Ursulmas! Wonder if Fjorlief is going too… And how can it be a bad event if Pastiche is there? Do you know if they’re going to be there? Them and Red Wolf?
Just for the record I think that being poly is a valid lifestyle choice for consenting adults and do not believe I said anything that could be construed as otherwise.
As for implying that this gentleman was poly, I don’t believe I stated that either, however it was implicit that *perhaps* one of the reasons he was behaving in the way he was is that he was considering this lifestyle because of all the women involved. I am glad that he has clarified that this was not the case. I wrote the things I did in response to your emotion, and with a pure heart with no intent of harm and so I apologize if I inadvertently did do harm. I can’t help but think, though, that sometimes it is easier to work up anger at an unknown entity because maybe the truth hurts when we look inside? Or are the base alternative “screw you” motivations more attractive than the course of needing the space for self discovery?
I find the worry about SCA reputation interesting. First of all, it is important to remember that people do judge you by your actions in the frame of reference of their personal experiences. Sometimes hurting others in terms of a love relationship are long remembered by others in the tribe and I can think of numerous infamous SCA examples. Choices were made, actions were taken and now consequences must be faced. Such cases of instant karma can be mitigated by acts of healing and kindness and are alternately aggravated by misplaced anger and magic which widen the spiral of negative energy. A simple change of heart could stop this escalation and shorten the path to balance.
And since the gentleman is still presumably angry at me, I take the chance to point out that it always takes two to tango, and the other woman/women who are involved would have no part in the story if they hadn’t been empowered to do so by his actions. *They* might be well served by looking to *him* as the author of the situation and to work for karmic correction together. It’s sad that their current drama of hand flapping and blaming at the revelation of trust-breaking replaces adult caring, reflection from within and rectification. This is not the Good Path. We should all strive for the divine, myself definitely included.
See my latest post for my understanding of the “screw you” motivations.
The SCA thing is so amazing to me. If you don’t want the SCA to know then don’t fuck with people who are in the SCA and considering that is how they met and how they are friends, this is, to me, another stone on the scaled of why the SCA is so full of shit to me. 😉
And yes, they/we all need to take a good hard look at our own actions. And strive for the greater good. Mostly these are folks who are extremely immature (even though this last woman is 50!!) . In his defense, I will say that at least Patrick is trying to change that. He really is. The only reason this happened is because he’s basically going through major growing pains. The others? Haven’t a clue that they are babies.
“Choices were made, actions were taken and now consequences must be faced. Such cases of instant karma can be mitigated by acts of healing and kindness and are alternately aggravated by misplaced anger and magic which widen the spiral of negative energy. A simple change of heart could stop this escalation and shorten the path to balance.”
Yes. On the one hand I’m sorry I took her name out of my post, they both deserve to be seen for their behavior. But on the other hand, it did feel like positive magic to me.
For me, the only reason I resorted to banishing was as a form of protection. I need her as far from me as possible in order to heal. Since she has been introduced to my spiritual temple base, this felt like wise action on my part. But her panic and hope to protect herself from ME could certainly take some nasty turns.
That said, I got some serious mojo on my side and it isn’t even mine. I’ve had to face some truly nasty spiritual entities that have been sent my way with total intent of harm and was so stunned by that attack and so very very proud of my response to the attack and to the response of the powerful friends to aid me that I feel pretty darned safe. Now that I know where the danger is coming from.
Until recently I simply knew there was danger but not from where or really why.
I sure enjoy these magical discussions with you. Maybe one day we can meet on this plane instead of SCA.
“Choices were made, actions were taken and now consequences must be faced.”
I also found it ironic that he is trying so hard to protect her honor when it appears at least that he did nothing to protect MINE. Protecting her from me is shutting the barn door after the cow is gone. And the hurt part of me wants to say
Screw You
But the pure part of me just wants to love with no attachment and move on. Because the best is yet to come for me. This was just practice although it was also necessary, I believe, for us as karmically bound friends to help each other come to some new ground through fire.