“Dear Rob: Help! When I give love I feel powerful but when I accept love I feel weak. So even though I dearly crave love, when someone tries to give it to me I run away. I’m afraid of the vulnerability that comes from being the recipient of the gift; I’m afraid of being in debt to the person who’s offering it; I’m afraid of the loss of control that comes from not providing myself with everything I need; and I’m afraid that if I accept love, I’ll get addicted to it, and then how will I cope if it goes away? What can I do? -Cowardly Crab.” Dear Crab: In the coming weeks, the universe will conspire to help you find new ways to think about these riddles. You’ll have tremendous access to the precise kind of courage you need.
Well then. Another great little bit. Although I do not feel like the Cowardly Crab, I did once. Today I am ready. Universe? Bring on the love. List is in process but you’ve got the most important high points. The man who is coming into my life has the following attributes, more can be added at any time. These things are, of course, things I am also willing to give right back to you. My lover, my partner, my friend, when you’re ready, I’m here ready too.
- Emotional Maturity*
- Mental Health*
- Doesn’t need human behavioral nuances (and not so nuances) explained, gets subtlety in human communication
- Quick thinker
- Gratitude
- A HWP, tall, man around my age with nice thighs and long hair, not bald.
- Kind, thoughtful, animals love him and he loves them*
- Pagan and magickal*
- In touch with his power center, can get there when notices he’s off kilter
- Knows who he is and what he wants, he loves himself in a healthy way, in comfortable in his own skin, a relationship just enhances who he is, it doesn’t make him who he is
- Likes a woman who likes her pink sparkles overlaying her dark sparkles
- He is in touch with hisdark side in a healthy way and also his feminine side
- Cares for his self, home, and belongings with respect – physical hygiene, body and clothing*
- Is totally ready for a loving, committed, long term relationship* willing to get married, the proposing kind.
- Great communicator even about the stuff that is difficult, the stuff that you know might upset your partner, open, honest, and willing, approachable, doesn’t keep important information to himself
- Understands fidelity, and that it isn’t just about sex*
- Courage when looking at himself and he can do this with laughter, a sure sign of self esteem
- Isn’t afraid to cry and allows himself to be vulnerable with his partner, can be comforted
- Is capable of deeply loving another*
- Has friends of both genders and wants his friends to become my friends*
- Will stand up for me when I need it or ask for it, if I’m harmed this will affect how he feels about those who harm. Not because I can’t take care of myself but because I inspire him through love and he trusts that I wouldn’t ask him to go to battle without good reason*
- Comprehensive understanding of boundaries
- Doesn’t run away and hide when important things need to be confronted but faces them, deals with them, COMPLETES them, and then cocoons and chills*
- Knows his way around a kitchen and has a palette that loves variety, adores ethnic cuisine
- Has a creative outlet
- Has a job, one that reflects his self respect, has job satisfaction
- Pays his bills and has a little set aside
- Is a reader, curious about the world
- Likes to travel and meet new people, go camping
- Likes to stay home and hang out doing “stuff”
- Is an experienced, thoughful, and creative lover, a secure lover, a passionate lover, and a giving and receptive lover*
- To me, he looks great naked, lovely and well endowed.
- Interested in personal growth and self improvement*
- Knows how to give AND receive*
- Treats the women in his life with love, respect, and honor, in fact all people in his life are treated this way
- He understands that our relationship is pretty darned special and the couple relationship is the most important of his relationships*
- When he listens he absorbs, he can still his mind, or processes quickly, flexes with the situation*
- Understands that couples need individual “me” timebut also understands that they need closeness too. Is able to wait if the timing isn’t great. Is able to express this need BEFORE he falls apart. Self care and awareness are very important here
- Is SOBER (last but not least) or at least only has a beer or a glass wine if out to dinner, no alcohol in the house. A Normie in the slang of the program. No smoking, no illicit drugs*
- Home life that offers security and is sturdy enough to be the foundation for all else we do in the world
- Alife partnership that gives us sustenance and allows us to share our selves and our love in a deep and soulful way
- Sense of humor, whimsy, wonderful laugh, wit
- Romantic, loving, public displays of affection
- Healthy self care
- Doesn’t get overwhelmed easily, can page himself
- LIkes music, movies, romance, mystery, drama, detective stories
- Not naive or innocent but not cynical or hardened
* These items are not negotiable. I can flex on the others to a degree but everything on this list is pretty darned important
That’s all for now Higher Self. Make it so #1.
Stitch Witch Cottage 
Love the pink color text!!!
Very cool list! You go girl.
I’ve made some improvements on this list too. It’s ever longer hahahahaha