These are all about ME and what I want. They are not about anyone else nor do they reflect judgment about anyone else. This is all about getting clarity for ME. Period. These are also things I plan to deliver to the best of my ability to this partner. I don’t ask for much. *laugh* Many of these things are just details and tangents on a theme, do one of them the odds are you do the rest, but Goddess is in the details.

Emotional and Mental Health

• Emotional Maturity
• Mental Health (if this is an issue he must be in recovery, the only exception is anxiety disorders. I simply can’t handle this, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us)
• Doesn’t need human behavioral nuances (and not so nuances) explained, gets subtlety in human communication
• Quick thinker
• Has gratitude
• In touch with his power center, can get there when notices he’s off kilter
• Knows who he is and what he wants, he loves himself in a healthy way, is comfortable in his own skin, a relationship enhances who he is, it doesn’t make him who he is, except that it will bring out the best in him
• He is in touch with his dark side in a healthy way and also his feminine side
• Is totally ready for a loving, committed, long term relationship, willing to get married, the proposing kind.
• Courage when looking at himself and he can do this with laughter, a sure sign of self esteem
• Comprehensive understanding of boundaries, we BOTH get them and we both have them respected, double standard is NOT allowed here although it is understood that there might be times when compromise is needed
• Interested in personal growth and self improvement
• Knows how to give AND receive
• Understands that sometimes one must sacrifice for the greater good
• Understands that couples need individual “me” time but also understands that they need closeness too. Is able to wait for his me time if the timing isn’t great. Is able to express this need BEFORE he falls apart. Self care and awareness are very important here
• Doesn’t get overwhelmed easily, can pace himself
• Understands fidelity, and that it isn’t just about sex, that it is also, and perhaps more importantly, about mutual respect and honor, would never cheat on his partner
• Is capable of deeply loving another
• Has friends of both genders and wants his friends to become my friends
• Doesn’t run away and hide when important things need to be confronted but faces them, deals with them, completes them, and THEN cocoons and chills
• When he listens he absorbs, he can still his mind, or process quickly, flex with the situation. This is not to imply that he won’t need time to think sometimes, we both will.

Physical Attributes

• A HWP, tall, man around my age with nice thighs and hair, not bald. Kind eyes. Strong nose would be nice. Appearance isn’t everything but he must be pleasing to MY eye and body, a little tummy is nice.
• Cares for his body, home, and belongings with respect – physical hygiene, body and clothing
• Is an experienced, thoughtful, and creative lover, a secure, passionate, giving, and receptive lover, listens to his partner
• To me, he looks great naked, lovely and well endowed. DUH by MY standards though, a perfect fit one could say.
• Has taken care of his teeth

Personality

• Kind, thoughtful, animals love him and he loves them, they are drawn to him
• Likes a woman who likes her pink sparkles overlaying her dark sparkles
• Great communicator even about the stuff that is difficult, the stuff that you know might upset your partner, open, honest, and willing, approachable, doesn’t keep important information to himself
• Isn’t afraid to cry and allows himself to be vulnerable with his partner, can be comforted
• Will stand up for me when I need it or ask for it, if I’m harmed this will affect how he feels about those who harm. Not because I can’t take care of myself but because I inspire him through love and he trusts that I wouldn’t ask him to go to battle without good reason
• Will stand up TO me if he doesn’t agree. Won’t say yes to avoid conflict
• Knows his way around a kitchen and has a palette that loves variety, adores ethnic cuisine
• Pays his bills and has a little set aside
• Cleans up his own mess
• Treats the women in his life with love, respect, and honor, in fact all people in his life are treated this way
• He understands that our relationship is pretty darned special and the couple relationship is the most important of his relationships (which implies quite clearly that I would prefer he not have growing children)
• Not naive or innocent, has life experience, but not cynical or hardened
• Is SOBER or at least only has a beer or a glass wine if out to dinner, no alcohol in the house. A Normie in the slang of the program. No smoking, no illicit drugs, no abuse of legal drugs
• Sense of humor, whimsy and silliness welcome, wonderful laugh, wit, laughs easily, makes me laugh and I make him laugh
• Romantic, loving, public displays of affection
• Gives thoughtful gifts, flowers, go out to eat, not that I want a bunch of stuff, I just want to know that the stuff I get was all about me
• Gives compliments regularly, just like I do. You look so pretty today. I love how you validate me. That kind of thing.
• Says I love you when he feels it. Which is hopefully often.

Interests

• Has a creative outlet
• Pagan and magickal would be nice
• Likes music, movies: romance, mystery, drama, detective stories, nothing too juvenile
• Not athletic but likes getting out and about into nature for walks and if we find the right place, ritual and sex
• Is a reader, curious about the world, about people
• Likes to travel, go camping
• Likes to stay home and hang out doing “stuff”
• Perhaps interested in working with woods, his own tools and stuff would be awesome

Miscellaneous

• Has a job, one that reflects his self respect, has job satisfaction
• Has a car
• Environmentally conscious, interested in concepts and activities that move towards a back to the land ideal
• Interested politically
• Doesn’t buy into the American idea of progress, isn’t into all the latest crap
• Isn’t arrogant
• Lives in the same area as I do
• Loves me EXACTLY the way I am, warts and all, because he knows I’m on a path of spiritual progress and he admires this about me.

What I want for my self with this very real man. Besides having a partner with the above attributes I would like things to look this:

• Marriage or handfasting, doesn’t need to be legal just dedicated and serious
• A home that we share that has a yard and studio space for both of us
• A home that welcomes visitors, where people are happy, enjoying holidays and other times of gathering
• A place for us to have esbats and sabbats together as a couple
• A place for our animals
• Home life that offers security and is sturdy enough to be the foundation for all else we do in the world
• A life partnership that gives us sustenance and allows us to share our selves and our love in a deep and soulful way