Jeshua Q&A February 2008

Jeshua: Beloved one, I greet you in joy. How are you in this evening?

Cynthia: I’m better, thank you. Two things. I’ve been very eager to get here tonight, because I understood you had something you wanted to say to me, and I also have a very specific question, so I’m hoping there’s enough time for both.

Jeshua: Yes, there is, because already, as you have discerned from this evening’s message, in and around all of the message has been what I wanted to say to you, so that part has been covered.

Cynthia: Somehow I knew you’d say that (Very good, we are on the same page) So my specific question is, I feel…I had to really work on trust issues in relationships with men when I got sober, and I spent many years being single and alone doing that and realizing that it was more about who I was selecting as much as about whether or not I could or couldn’t trust. So I really saw that I had a part in that. And so a little while ago I decided that I was ready and willing to trust again, and I feel like all that work has just been smashed like a glass window, and I know that I need to…I so don’t want to wait eight more years, you know, to get there again (Right) so what are the things I can do to…it’s not so much about trusting somebody else, but to trust my judgment and to know that I can trust myself.

Jeshua: There, you have just said it. It is not so much about trusting another person, because people will come and people will go. You have seen this. And it really has nothing to do with you personally. They make their own choices because of previous experience or according to what they feel is their nature, and that again is based on previous experience. And it truly has nothing to do with you personally, so there is not a judgment of you.

There is nothing lacking in you; nothing that you have done wrong; nothing that you could have done differently. You just come into contact with various ones and you play with them for awhile. It is the same as when you were in what you call the school, and you played with certain playmates for awhile, and then perhaps you went off into another grouping and you played with them for awhile, and you just are still doing that as you have grown a bit taller; you play with different ones at different times. And there is no judgment in moving to another group of friends or leaving; there is no judgment at all in it.

As to the eight years, no. You have learned, as you understand learning, very much in the past few months, and so you are ready now to move into another relationship that is truly just around the corner for you, where you are going to move in again with a bit of trepidation, because you don’t want to take your heart in your hands and put it out there and have somebody stomp all over it. Well, that’s a normal human feeling, of course. But you are moving…you have already come almost to the place of closing the door or turning the last page on that chapter.

There is still friendship; always will be friendship and respect there for you and for the other one. But that chapter is pretty much coming…you’ve got about maybe this much space; not much; it’s closing, that chapter. But as one chapter closes, another chapter opens. It is the same as you have a book. You turn a page and you’re into a new chapter. You are on the threshold of moving into this new chapter that holds a relationship in it that is going to be very nurturing, very sustaining, and where you are going to find that you can trust yourself and your judgment. You are going to trust yourself, because it is yourself. The others come and go, but this one that you’re moving into now is going to be more what you call, in the human terms, reliable.

And yet there are going to be times when you are going to question, because that is the way human nature is with any relationship. There are going to be times when you are going to have to do what is called the communication. That’s good, and it is okay. But you have come through this previous experience in order to know the gifting of it, and you have come away with many gifts from it. You are now much more clear about yourself, about what you want in a relationship, and as you have been doing some of that defining, you have also been envisioning what this new chapter is going to hold for you.

So you can allow the heart to feel open. You can allow the self to breathe and to know that truly you are loved. You have never lost anything, but you have gained much experience. And you have gained a great opportunity to stand in the place of love right now and say to any of the ones that you’ve had relationship with, “I love you. You cannot keep me from loving you,” because they can’t keep you from loving them, “but I understand the wisdom now of moving on. And so I thank you for that. It’s been a bit rough, you know. I felt like I really got scoured with the scouring, abrasive powder, and I felt like I got trampled on from time to time. But I see it in a different light now, and I see that truly there is nothing and no one who can keep me from loving you. I do love you. But that does not mean I have to have you in my life. I’m ready to move on.” So you are free.

Cynthia: Yeah, thank you. And just a little side question. This face keeps popping up into my mind the last few days, and I’m wondering it that’s an accurate vision of what I should be expecting to be arriving.

Jeshua: It’ll be something like that (Oh, nice!) Good looking? (Yes. Thank you) You are welcome.

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