I came across a very interesting website the other day. It had a checklist of the top signs that a spouse/person can use to determine if they are being abused. The list was incredibly long, I’m assuming that if your spouse checks more than a certain number you qualify as an abusive spouse.
Here is the URL and a sampling of items on the list.
- Frequently blames or criticizes you
- Calls you names
- Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race class or sexual preference
- Isolates you from your family and friends
- Withholds approval, appreciation or affection
- Repeatedly harasses you about things you did in the past
- Threatens to leave or told you to leave
- Checks up on you (listens to your phone calls, looks at phone bills, checks the mileage on the car, etc.)
- Tells people you suffer from a mental illness
- Minimizes or denies being abusive
- Uses drugs or alcohol to excuse their behavior
- Uses loud or intimidating tone of voice
- Criticizes the way or amounts of money you spend
- Throws objects
- Destroys property or your possessions
Stitch Witch Cottage 
Just one of these, once, would be enough to start me running in the opposite direction.
It’s hard when you love someone. But yeah, some of that is just pure shit, anyone who thinks otherwise, well. I hope they aren’t with someone who does this.