This is a copy of my private Facebook journal of the healing trek…

God mornings are soo hard. The pain meds have worn off by then and I awake in agony. I have exercises I do three times daily to stretch the abused skin and muscle but in the morning I feel as though I have to start all over again. The meds dull the pain only but do make it so that little by little I can claim bits of myself back. The day that tylenol does the trick is going to be a good day.

As a person in recovery I am uncomfortable with taking narcotics but the truth is right now it is the only option. I will heal better and sooner if the pain is treated.

It is still probably 2-3 weeks before I can drive so my independence is compromised. Dressing myself is limited to things that button in front. Can’t lift more than 15 pounds but that feels too heavy. Can only lift my arms half way to my shoulders so this makes everything from combing my hair to scratching just about everywhere almost impossible. Grabbing, pushing, pulling, certain actions are a no-no.  Lifting my arms over my head, assuming I could actually do it, is verboten. Sleeping on my back doesn’t really allow me to go as deep as I like…

It does at least look like the drains will be removed this Thursday and that is cause for joy. I must be so careful not to pull them, I must be so cautious. It will feel like a major milestone of healing achieved.

Sort of complaining this morning as I’m eager to do just one arty thing and pain makes me a bit crazy. But I will be satisfied with a shower and a short walk in the sun and a visit from Mr. Furnace.

One day at a time can be so DAILY…

This little bump is a pain for sure. Buried under my skin, it is a pipeline to one of my major veins. It will make it easier for my body to eventually accept large doses of chemo therapy. It has a “port” with ridges that they can lock/connect a contraption to for long hours at a time. Like my drains it will make the whole process easier for me and the doctors but I find it creeps me out considerably. It hurts like hell and makes me sick when I consider what it’s going to look like when I am in chemo treatment. Like my 3 hanging drains, this is just gross to me and yet integral to my healing and so I welcome it!

Just one of the indignities I must accept. The moment they say they don’t need it any more and remove it will be another of those joyous days.