I’m Going to Fly Anyway

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately. On Thursday, November 29th, 2012, I discovered a mass in my right breast that I just knew was cancer. An official diagnosis that I was correct came on the winter solstice, Friday, December 21st, 2012, just before I was leaving work for the holiday. A lot has changed since that day and I’ve had a lot to think about.

It’s been a veritable roller coaster ride. I hate roller coaster rides. Just hate them. Hate having my stomach in my throat, especially after chemo.

The valleys have been brutal and more than once I thought that the battle just wasn’t worth it. The long slog back towards health and work overwhelms me still. Last night was another low valley with no sun. I decided to close all my blogs and stop the extra work that blogs are. And then I picked up a new book to read…

Finding Your Way in a Wild New World by Martha Beck

I decided to fly anyway, any way I can. The barriers are lifted. I’m writing this for me. You’re welcome to join in. I’m no longer going to focus on any one thing such as medieval costume, paganism, or this and that. I’m going to tell my story. I’m going to write my book. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. The steps will begin slowly as I’m still getting my feet under me and that is crucial to stepping. I’m not going to hide behind flowery prose. I’m going to say words like fuck. All the time. And I’m going to fly.


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