I had an interview this morning that I wasn’t looking forward to. I hadn’t spent too much time wondering why I wasn’t excited about it. But it went really well. It’s a great company, agent actually. The woman I met with was fun and the whole office had a definite funky coolness about it that I liked. Just like the company/agent I met with last week. But why have I felt so, hmmmm, out of it. I do know why and after this great meeting I was able to look at it.
I? Have been feeling not good enough. Not smart enough. Not hip enough. Not artistically talented enough. Not skilled enough to get a choice job with hip, smart, skilled, and creative people. Shades of drinking days, adolescence, yuk.
It’s been difficult to decide what to wear. I was raised in the professional world of law and banking. You wore certain types of clothing. As web designer I have found that certain amount of casualness, even sloppiness or freak, is accepted. But how to dress for the interviews? I just didn’t know. Last week I wore black linen pants, a black t-shirt, a lime green silk sweater jacket, hose, and sandals. And felt totally out of place in the bright golden orange big fish office. Fish every where, in tanks, posters, art work. Tattoos, capri pants, jean jackets.
I knew I had to find something a bit more casual and yet clean and professional. So cords and a black sweater, same sandal clogs but no hose. Big black leather bag. I think I nailed it. And for the first time ever I felt comfortable, physically comfortable on a job interview.
Oh, and did I tell you all that I cut my hair again? Tis very short. Was still obsessed with getting rid of the hair from the last two years, too much grief in it. As well as still didn’t like my first new haircut. It felt like a gray football helmet, conservative. Like a soccer mom hairstyle. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It just ain’t anywhere close to me. The girl with neon pink hair in 1980. I hated it and no matter how much my friends told me that it made me look younger and it was cool, I just knew it wasn’t what I was going for. I got almost all of it cut off. An inch long on the neck and perhaps 3 on top I can do all kinds of groovy things. It might even be a little too long on top. But I feel much better.
So, today? Was a completely different meeting. The first thing she said was that I have a great resume and a great portfolio. That what makes me very special and what ought to help me get work (depends on how much comes in for them too) is the fact that not only am I designer but I do back end code and it’s hard to find folks like me who love to do both (I do). And that more and more clients are hoping to get this.
$12-18 per hour
Naturally I didn’t apply but I was getting worried that I was seriously behind the times in my skillz. And that I might starve.
To have the agent tell me that I am a hot commodity with a hot resume, including years of program and project management, just made my day. And to tell me that the salary I’m requesting is right on the nail head. I requested double my salary of my last job. Oh this is good news.
The weather is glorious too. The interview was in downtown Seattle and I’ve avoided downtown for years. No one was more stunned than I to discover after leaving the interview that I felt incredibly energized. Bouncing on the clouds. The city, when I was in banking, just bummed me out. But coming from this more recent, more edgy, more creative point of view, perhaps it’s just the place for me. My last job, most of the folks I worked with were statisticians and researchers. Not very juicy for the creativity I can tell you. They did not GROK me in any way. The techies sort of did but even they were a bid staid in their modern techi-ness.
I’m rethinking things a bit here. Being around others who are in my field and bouncing creative ideas and new technologies around might be just what I need…
The mantra of the week? Money comes easily and frequently. Has been upgraded to Money and satisfying work comes easily and frequently.