I got a phone call. One that was cheerful and said that it was the nicest message he’d received in a long time. To please call him.
So I did.
To only be told that I was right, he’d been giving me mixed messages, that he had wanted me, that the toe in the butt had been a very clear message. That I was hot enough to have sex with but too old to be in a relationship with, that one day I’d become decrepit and he didn’t want to take care of anyone ever. Seriously. He really said that. He was genuinely surprised that I was poleaxed. That I’m too honest and it scares him. Dude, you have no idea what I’ve not said. Lastly, he’s been seeing someone else although it’s not serious.
That settles that. He’s the one who’s too honest and the other woman is someone he’s chatting with on the internet. ROFL. Let me know how that works out for you buddy.
But the too old? That was one of the most fucked up things anyone has ever said to me. I’m so glad I didn’t trust him, that I was waiting to see what his colors were. So very glad I didn’t go for that message.
I did tell him so too. Nancy, who until now has been his friend, is shocked. He said he might change his mind. I laughed and said, Dude, I’m not dancing with you three times. Not. Dancing. Three. Times.
And you know what? I forgive him. But boy howdy I am done with this crush. Done. DONE.
This post has been severely edited.
Oh no, he didn’t! How do women manage to raise such insensitive men? That, of course, is a purely rhetorical question, because you are not the first woman to get hit with this particularly nasty stick. It’s opposite end is “The only reason I’m staying with you is so I’ll have someone to take care of me in MY old age. I don’t want to die alone.” My friend, A, got that stick across her face. Really brutal, and (needless to say) the end results were the same as your stick. She forgave him, but it was so over.
I understand the whole agism thing, but it just burns my ass, and bad. Age used to be revered and respected; now it’s feared and reviled. Thanks to advertising and the money to be made in “curing” old age and all its “ills,” age is now something to be avoided at all costs. Maybe I could make this body live forever, but I don’t WANT to make this body live forever; I don’t want to BE this person FOREVER. Not only is that contrary to the cycle of life and existence, it would get boring.
Poor M; he obviously hasn’t got a clue as to what real intimacy and passion between two people means or what it leads to. That boat didn’t just sail; it had a high-powered V8 outboard engine!
I know! It’s so very pathetic. And yet, I feel like I dodged another bullet. I could be tangled with HIM. *shiver*
I also want to say that I think his raising influence has less to do with his mother and far more to do with his father. He almost never talks about his mom but the things he said his father said can be quite shocking at times. I think that is where it comes from in this case. It is a pity that his mom couldn’t override that, assuming she would have if she could have, but I think this is a real guy thing. I also think it’s an insecurity as a man thing… No women involved in my opinion.
FaerieKat, you said:
“Maybe I could make this body live forever, but I don’t WANT to make this body live forever; I don’t want to BE this person FOREVER. Not only is that contrary to the cycle of life and existence, it would get boring.”
I agree with you. But it’s nice to know that if we can get it right, we don’t have to. I want to live at least a hundred years and I want to look fabulous and feel fabulous doing it. I plan on renewing the cells as much as possible, keep them fresh. Lots of folks say I look 10-15 years younger than I am (which doesn’t photograph well) and I guess I’m going to keep working on it. 😉
I absolutely agree that we shouldn’t attempt to keep as healthy as we can…and I wrote those two sentences in direct reference to the last post in which you mention Joshia and his thoughts on being able to keep this body going forever.
Check out my thoughts about the effects of how nurture affects men (and women) at this post: http://wp.me/p9erV-Kq.
My gods, 50 ISN’T old! What is wrong with people?!? What a toad. What a self-centered thing to say, too– like your being 50 has the potential to ruin his life if he gets involved with you. Please. I have 2 dear friends, one is 51 & the other is 60 and they are sexy, smart, fun, energetic– they can teach me a thing or two about being young, that’s for sure.
Too bad he turned out to be such a disappointment, but I am so glad you found out before any further entanglement.
He’s not so much worried about 50 as he is 75 when he’s 65. Total ass. What makes him think I’m the one who’s going to get sick? I mean really! Not being with someone you’re crazy about six ways to Sunday because they might get sick in 20 years is really astonishing.
Reminds me of Pride and Prejudice when the mother is always going on about her daughters having to marry because when father dies they will all be turned out of the estate if they don’t marry well. And father says:
Dude, you better hope you find someone who takes care of your palsied self. *laugh*