My name was “Robbie” from birth till seventh grade. But as my adolescent hormones began to kick in, I decided I needed a more virile stature. My name became the punchier, sleeker “Rob.” But with every year that passes, I find myself heading back in the direction of “Robbie.” The clever severity of my youth yearns to meld with the buoyant tenderness I’ve been cultivating the past decade. I want my paradoxes to harmonize — my blithe feminine qualities to cooperate with my aggressive masculine side, my bright-eyed innocence to synergize with my restless probing. So you can call me “Robbie” if you like, or “Rob,” or sometimes one and sometimes the other. Isn’t it time for you, too, my fellow Cancerian, to circle back and reclaim an early part of you that got lost along the way
Why yes, yes it is time. What I lost was self love and it’s time I get that back. NOW.
The minute I let go yesterday something shifted. I just got a check from a new client for their new website. Not a big site, not a big check, but it gives me some much needed breathing room, a boost of energy, and I’m officially working. THAT? Feels good.
Tomorrow I see D for the first time in two weeks and much has happened in both our psyche’s since we last saw each other and spoke more than a few words. I’m looking forward to it but am nervous also. He just IM’d me and said it would be fun. That’s a good sign.
Please let the wheel be turning up now because I’m wet and sputtering and getting tired of hanging on under water.