That’s just too much to ask.
No knew developments on the inventory thing and that’s cool because I’m kind of exhaustified. Stiff neck, headachey, etc. Will get the photos up soon for the Etsy store but moving slower than anticipated.
Tomorrow I go pick D up from the airport. When I went to pick him up on Thursday, he gave me the biggest bear hug I think I’ve ever had. I could barely breathe. It was good. I was trying so hard to stay cool, keep my emotions in check, that I probably wasn’t as responsive as I could have been. When I dropped him off at the airport, after giving him another hug, he blew me the sweetest kiss over the top of the car. It wasn’t the kiss blowing that got me but the look in his eyes. It started me to wondering if perhaps we might both be ready to talk about things.
He has been checking in with me every day since he left. Texts and, surprisingly, phone calls. They are brief, chatty calls but quite cheerful for D, clearly this getting out of town helped him as much as me getting out of town helped me. It’s a family reunion/wedding and the bucks have not been spared, so chatty stuff about the historic hotel, the 108 degree days, etc. He told his sister I would give her a ride home from the airport too and called to make sure that was really okay. She’s on the way, of course it is. But he was all stoked that I finally get to meet his sister. Insert Scooby Doo “Huh?” here.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Us especially since the inventory eyeopener. I want to talk to him about compromises and creative relationship construction, about feelings, and what do we really want things to look like instead of what does society usually tell us a relationship looks like and it crushes us and we can’t handle it and and and. So I asked him. I was thinking and if you’re willing, would you like to grab some food after we drop your sis off and have a talk. And he was all over it. Oh yes! That would be great! Yeah, we can do that!
Wow, I really need to remember to keep my feet on the ground here. Not get my hopes up, but this is some action that is promising. There is hope. It’s not my hopes that I need to worry about so much as my expectations and assumptions. Gotta keep those bad boys in check…
Who knows what tomorrow will bring. It won’t bring the Etsy store (I’ll need a couple days more for that) but it might bring a lighter heart for yours truly. I’ve been pretty heartbroken in general but mostly specifically regarding Mr. Furnace.