Did You See That?

Was it so quick, so subtle, that it passed right over your head? I know it passed right over MINE.

In the previous post I wrote:

I can afford it…

Now mind you I was talking about acrylic yarn that I got at Joann’s and I used coupons and a sale on yarn to do it (I bought 20 skeins) but man, I said it.

I. Can. Afford. It.

I really can’t remember the last time I said that.  And guess what?  This Friday??  I get paid. AGAIN!!  What a novel and fun idea.  Twice a month like clockwork I am going to get paid. Who knew that would feel like wide open spaces instead of not enough.

I love my job. I love the people I work with. I actually do have the nicest boss.  They think I’m doing a great job.  No nasty comments about my competence. This job was made for me for exactly where I am right now in my career and personal growth. I couldn’t have asked for a better fit. Oh. Wait. I guess I did!!!

And I am in love. LOVE LOVE LOVE.  And guess what? We still have not had sex. I know. ME. It took a man like Mr. Furnace to inspire me, try me, wait for me, to organically let everything happen when it feels perfect.  We celebrated our first Valentine’s together with friends eating sushi and whatever you call it when they cook japanese style in front of you with flaming volcano onions and stuff. And cake. Heh. Low key. Very nice. Perfect. I am looking forward to the very new experience of actually having sex for the first time with a man I already know loves me, who has fought with me, cried with me, laughed with me, knows me, trusts me, and I him. For some people that is a given.  For someone with my background not so much. To do this consciously as a gift to ourselves. Of course with life you never know, maybe it won’t happen but I don’t think so. I think it will happen in my core. I have no idea when and I’m okay with that. Completely okay. Because I’ve never felt so fulfilled with a man just holding hands and twining legs, shoulder rubs and head massages and a smooch here and there. FULFILLED.

Our favorite activities?  Watching “stupid tv” (Cash Cab and Jeopardy and the Rick Mercer Report and The Daily Show being our favs), eating, holding hands, laughing, and sometimes me crocheting.  Just enjoying each others company, letting things unfold as they will with full faith everything is perfect. Last weekend I spent the night. This weekend I’m going to Portland to see a dear friend for gab and cheer and sushi and Powell’s Books.  And because it is a 3-day weekend, I’m coming home to do it again.  Spend the night with Mr. Furnace. Holding hands.

Life is very, VERY, good right now and I deserve it.  I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy, partly because life has been life and partly because I wasn’t who I am now.  Someone who finally learned to enjoy herself come hell or high water but who got heaven instead.

And because this is my favorite movie of the year….

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