Breathing Again Part II

I had a very long massage yesterday, easily 90 minutes.  It was so wonderful and given by a member of my spiritual community so it was extra special.

On Saturday I went to a knitting circle that was a very good time.  Got some time in with a friend of mine from the old days. She and I both made a decision that we don’t want the time to go by and lose touch again.  This actually came up in a conversation, that we had both done this regarding the other. We want to be friends.  She is a breath of fresh air, very good for me.  For example, we were talking about how dissatisfying photos of us are, we always look weird and she said, “Beauty this amazing can not be captured on film.”  Breath of fresh air.

Which I need.  In addition to the unexplained stomach, which I think is NOT Celiac Disease after the test results I saw this morning and it doesn’t look like I’m anemic either, I have high blood pressure. VERY high blood pressure.  My BP has been good my whole life and then suddenly it wasn’t.  I’ve been checking it twice a day per doctor so we can monitor it and it’s got me all nervous.   STRESS.  I’m hoping my doc will put me on medication this week so that I can at least breath easier because breathing isn’t easy right now.  I am certain that stress is harming me physically.

I know that my nervousness can make it higher but the fact is that it’s high.  In the 170’s in the morning.  I have been able to get it as low as 145 but most times it’s in the 150 and 160’s.  NOT. GOOD.  180 or higher is an immediate call to 9-1-1.

I go to work, I go home, I crash.  I feel like I’m falling apart.

I need to get walking and I’m so tired.  I need to continue my good eating regime.  I need to get good sleep (I’m doing that).  I need to stop all activities for other folks for the time being, which I’ve done but it’s amazing how many think that I’m not talking about THEM.  Jeesh. But I did that.  Just keep saying no.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

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