Square Wheels

That desire to drive off into the sunset alone has manifested itself into a drive down the Oregon coast for a week. I drove to the mountains yesterday and wanted to keep on driving so bad. I wasn’t prepared though. So I’m taking today to get my act together. I leave tomorrow morning at 6:30. Two days at a KOA campground (hey, a woman alone I want to be around families etc) on the coast then further down, almost to Cali, where I visit with some friends who live in a little hamlet on the coast. They say I can stay as long as I like. Then home. Rocks and sand and seals and wind and water and blessed nature. Aaaahhhhhhhhh.

Mr. Furnace and I spent a couple hours together last night. Finally a low key evening. Nothing to talk about, no oral surgery woes, no decision to make, no talks to have, just quiet time together. It was nice and good and sweet. Even so we both need a break.

He needs down time on good days because of his health issues. 5 planets in Scorpio and add something like the emergency oral surgery? And you have one intense human being. Not sure I can handle that side of him or not. The rest is so wonderful but that intensity really threw me off kilter. Which wasn’t hard to do, I was off kilter already. But the love is there and things are smoothing out, we’re trying to find our balance, it does appear to be the goal of both us, so I’m willing to keep on trucking for a little while longer.

Last night I got some sympathy, some empathy, some caressing, some face to face looking in the eyes time, a kiss or two, some soccer, some Law & Order. It helped. A lot. It was perfect, it’s what we do best. Which is good because I am a wreck and I know it.

He says he has square wheels right now and so do I. 3 mph is about the best we can do. And that is more than enough for me.  0-60 in a year. It’s the Flintstone mobile, we’re pedaling as slowly as we can. Which is good, smell the roses from your Weirdsmobile.

I’m looking forward to the negative ions of the ocean, wind on my face, and some alone time with the mama. I’m exhausted. I need some time for thoughts to percolate, figure out what I need to own and what belongs to someone else. Need some more crying time, some laughing time, some good food with good friends time, some just being time. My feet in the sand, in the ocean, a good book, a big hat, and a nap. I don’t know who I’ll be when I come back but I’m pretty sure it will be me but different.

Here’s a thought from the Cancerian philosopher Gaston Bachelard: “He who listens to the singing of the stream cannot be expected to understand the one who hears the singing of the flame: They do not speak the same language.” While I mostly agree with that poetic formulation, I think you’re about to be a temporary exception to the rule. Normally you are acutely attuned to the singing of the stream; your skill at reading its nuances are supreme among the zodiac. But I expect that in the coming days, you will not only have the power to appreciate the song of the fire; you’ll even be able to empathize with and understand people who are entranced by the song of the fire.

Well that says something good to me. Me and D?  Both water signs and both on fire. I generally can read the signs of the stream and the fire.  But I could use a boost of mad skillz. It takes a while to learn what another person likes and doesn’t like. Today we’re doing okay on the communication thing. Today is all we ever really have and that’s good enough for me.

3 thoughts on “Square Wheels

  1. i hope that you have a wonderful time of resting and healing and i will be posting stuff tomorrow thus there will also be something nice to come hope to.. ***loves***

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