Cancer this week

From the day I got fired…

August is Banish Your Superstitions Month, Cancerian. To celebrate this auspicious festival, purge yourself of every irrational belief and unfounded fear you can stand to live without. But also keep in mind that you may have to keep a crazy delusion or two, at least for a while. You’ve become so used to your chronic anxiety that it might be risky to get rid of it all at once. So proceed deliberately, casting off one false belief today and another quaint fallacy tomorrow and a third rotten figment of your imagination next week. By September 1, you may be surprised to see how high you’ve ratcheted up your level of fearlessness.

Gee, what irrational belief and/or unfounded fear would that be?  The one where I’m unemployable?  Or the one where men can’t stand me after a month and go from love and affection to utter rancor overnight?  Or the one where I think living on this fucked up planet with random beauty is fun? The one where I’m unlovable? Gee Universe, you’re making it so easy I can’t stop dancing…

Gee I just love hearing from the people in my life all my horrible faults and I love hearing them while being amazed at feats of rage and insanity.

Gee I love being verbally attacked and then being belittled and raged at because I’m defensive.

Gee, I just love being yelled at and accused of being a self centered addict with an agenda who only thinks of herself and what she wants.

Gee, I just love being told none of the faculty like me.

Gee.

Are any of these things true?  Depends on whose point of view you’re asking for.

From mine?  I need to go live in the woods with my cat and stay as far from humans as possible if I’m going to make it in this world.  And yet that worked so well for Christopher McCandless.  NOT.

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