And I need to keep writing….
Thank you Erica for the link. I feel this is my path and the true depths that I’ve been able to plumb (?) have been worth the sad heart. But the heart only has a piece of sad, there is also joy and gratitude and still, perhaps, some anger. But it’s all good because it’s all me.
This is why I throw a conniption when someone thinks that I need to change how I feel. Or say I should not share the truth of it “in public.” I would LOVE to go public because no one wants to talk about the icky stuff and it’s killing us. So many feel that they’re “bad” feelings so let’s cheer the sad little gal right the fuck up. Well I don’t happen to WANT to be cheered up in that moment, I want to experience my reality. Or to have my feelings invalidated or to feel anything other than that very very, or as a Greek or two said, Really Real authenticity. I want to finally feel WHOLE. And REAL. And LOVED and LOVING.
I also want to say, “hey, line in the sand you.” Step back. Let me breathe. Let me feel my feelings. Unlike you I can bear the discomfort because I KNOW that getting to the other side is Heaven and Goodness and Relief not Regret. Join me. Say it loud and say it proud. Be YOU. Find YOU. Fuck it. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.