After The Ecstacy the Laundry

Ok, I stole that from Jack Kornfield but it’s quite good yes?

My husband and I got married in March of this year but waited until yesterday to have our celebration with family and friends old and new.

In a lovely outdoor space with bands playing on an old flatbed, we danced the night away. The vibes were so goooood. The weather was prefect, the red velvet cake delish, family and friends so beloved.

My heart swells with love.

This morning I pulled an oracle card. Maybe a little quiet laundry… and definitely a nap.

Solitude from the Sacred Traveler Oracle by Denise Linn

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Thank You Mr. Wright

https://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Award-winning-principal-says-goodbye-to-Seattle-1118185.php

I’ve become more aware of my white privilege the past two years. It’s been a very inspiring and sometimes challenging time. I didn’t want to see it. But it was there. I became willing to look. I am willing to change. The challenes continue and I do better every time.

Obviously I grew up in a white middle class family. I was lucky in so many ways. Good schools, a wonderful childhood, violin lessons, some freedom. My parents were well educated.

My mother was a founding social worker in Seattle’s Head Start program under Dorothy Hollingsworth and I’m super proud of her. Dorothy ran into mom at the grocery store and said she was looking for a few good people and wanted mom. Heart bursting with pride.

Dad was the housing manager over the years for Rainier Vista, Holly Park, and Yesler Terrace. His boss was the city. I remember the day he came home and announced he quit because, after years of arguing, the city refused to install burglar alarms to prevent rape at Yesler Terrace. I didn’t know then that I’d be a rape survivor 3 times. I was so proud of dad for walking out on The Man. He just couldn’t take it any more. I’m acutely aware right now that dad was showing his privilege. The residents couldn’t leave.

I had daily reminders that helping others is necessary. That helping those who have no advocates is our duty and privilege.

Even with all that in my daily life I discovered last year that somehow I’d still been assimilated. I was crushed at first. I’m not kidding. I thought I’d escaped it but I hadn’t.

Since then I’ve been thinking of this man, Ben Wright. Mr. Wright was my 8th grade Black History teacher. I went to Meany, 5 blocks from my home. I’d been assaulted several times after school and on the playground by other girls for being a privileged white girl. I got beat up one day for calling pants slacks. I guess slack meant Super Cool and those girls were having none of it, confused as I was. I never told my parents about the assaults and stalking. How could I tell my mom that the adorable plaid poncho she made with love got me assaulted. I knew why it was happening. Anyway Meany was HARD. I met Kerry Collins there in orchestra. If not for Kerry and Mr. Wright I would have imploded.

Mr. Wright saw something in me. Not sure what, but I went home with his personal books on the black experience. I read them and returned them to get more. We talked about the story the books were telling. They weren’t the school history books, progressive as Meany was. This man gave me what I consider to this day a REAL education. His stern kindness when he caught me cheating on a test has never been forgotten. I still do things the right way because of it.

I’ve been thinking of him a lot this year. WWBWD? I knew his name wasn’t Richard but you can see perhaps how I got that name confused with Wright over the many decades since. A couple weeks ago my brain finally said BEN! So I searched and found this article.

Mr. Wright was the best teacher I’ve EVER had. He encouraged and supported me. He taught me things no other city school was teaching. He trusted me with his own library. It’s because of him that I’m working so hard to crush my privilege bias because I know America’s true shameful and also inspiring history

I thank the universe every day for Mr. Wright. A smart educated black mean teaching Black History in an inner city school saw a smart tiny privileged but open minded white girl and took the time to bring her along. I like to think he saw something in me. That, despite my white privilege, I was one of the good guys. If not for him would I strive daily to be a better person? Perhaps. My parents showed me what good people do. But no one has influenced me so thoroughly as Mr. Wright.

I’d sure like to thank him.

The 60s

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Oh my goodness… Where did the time go? Heck with other people! *I* couldn’t handle how fabulous I was. Long, tortuous but eventually liberating, sunshiney, personal journey story left for another day.

Recently I was asked in Mindfulness Compassion Therapy (what a blessing it has been) what I want to do with my 60s. It sounds like a simple question but it’s not. I don’t think I’ve asked myself that type of question regarding a new decade of my life ever. This one simple question has really pumped up the volume of stepchild questions. It’s no longer just one question.

One of those questions that I keep revolving around deals with creativity. The last 2 years have been a bit of a dud artistically. Sort of. Creativity? What’s that? I had a very bad reaction to one of my cancer treatment medications in January of 2017. It was bad. It nearly took me out. Art? I could barely tie my shoes. Write? I could barely read. Drain Bamage. I’m 100% serious. I have been working VERY hard on getting back to myself.  It’s working. I’m back. In many ways better than when I left. And I do mean LEFT. So, now that I’m right…  Or should I say upright …

What do I want in my 60s? More. More Joy. More Love. More Art. More Healing. More Style. More Fabulous. More Family. More Health. What helps those things come into being? Creativity. Love. They’ve always been the answer and still are.

The other day I bought myself a new and fabulous pyrography machine. That sucker BURNS. I won’t be able to use it on anything other than the hardest woods. It burned through a piece of basswood in 4 seconds. Which means I won’t be using it that much right now as my current project isn’t in hardwood. I’ll share photos of the new project but I’ll be using my trusty Dagger.  I need hardwood supplies.

I’ve been looking at my fabric stash, much diminished after a major purge last year, for textile inspiration, noodling around in my head before I sleep letting ideas for textile goodness projects come and go. My Facebook feed is full of luscious needlework beauty.  Pinterest too.  (BTW, my Pinterest boards are here, enjoy)

Inspired by something I saw, a few weeks ago I sent a photo of a recent needlework project (not the one below) to a magazine in Australia, Inspirations. They have been an inspiration to me for a long time. I love their magazine, it’s soooo beautiful. And they wrote me back! Asking for a larger resolution image for their newsletter and a brief bio about my needlework journey. Stuff like this bag below. I made at least two dozen bags in the past year and most of them are sold or gifted. I’m moving on to other things…

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While I was working on a bio to send to Inspirations I came here to grab some blips and quips and I realized that I missed my blog. I miss *some* things at any rate. Some things I don’t miss at all…. But boy did I need to do some spring cleaning. Like make certain posts private from two years ago. I don’t want THOSE public, I was having a rough time. A VERY Rough Time. Some videos I recorded and uploaded made me feel embarrassed. Some of them were recorded only days before the world went black. Why on earth would that be embarrassing? Well, if you’ve spent any time in the archives, you might understand why a world renowned embroidery publication might find it off-putting. There’s nothing I can really do about the archives. I lived my life out loud and in public here for a long time. All 18 of you wonderful strangers read it faithfully.  So what’s here is here. Except from 2 years ago. The videos just had to go in the Good to Know But Not Share file. I did, however, listen to them and found tidbits of goodness like 30 minutes of me rambling about what I was going to do creatively in 2017.  Let’s just change that to 2019 shall we?

The big question became, “What do I want to do with my 60s and do I want to do it here?” Is it time to focus? Is it time to get back to being productive? Is it time to be public about it? Hesitatingly, the answer is:

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OH! I got married last week. OMG. Married! To the best man a gal could want by her side. At least this gal. Now that is some joyous news.

Fabulous though he is, I can talk until the cows come home. Evidently they don’t come home very often, the man never gets any peace. He’s a SAINT. He’s private. He’s mine. He might even lovingly cringe that I’m going public again. I’ve learned a few things in the past 2 years and one of them is, you don’t have to share EVERYTHING anymore. Say what?! I know, right? If It makes me hesitate, put it on the back burner. I’m going to leave the archives here because if nothing else, they will show, I hope, my personal growth. It’s done my heart wonders, this being married to such a wonderful person. The day after we got married I felt incredibly different in a very good, very supported way. In a family way, er, family kind of way. I felt so loved. I FEEL so loved. And feeling loved kind of opens up all kinds of possibilities doesn’t it? It sure beats the alternative. Right? Right.

I’m making a list of things I want to talk about and things I want to show off. Things you might like to see and read. My hard drive crashed two weeks ago and I lost YEARS of hi-res images of my work but I think I have enough to make it work moving forward. My phone takes amazing images really. I have a great camera. Let’s only show new things. There are tons of photos here already of what I did in the past. I have new things I can bring out for show and tell.

One last thing, recently I purchased colonialtailor.com, a long held dream of a demo site that mimics Medieval Tailor but with 18th century American clothing reproductions. It’s been on my dream list a long time but when I put off buying the domain and lost it to someone else and my “Master” betrayed me, precious, I kind of let it fizzle out. There were tears. And hissing. That was 10 years ago. This year it was available again for a rock bottom price and it’s now mine… So there might be things to say about that! Wait… MIGHT? Definitely some things to say about that and some of it has to do with being adopted, DNA and geneaology, Benedict Arnold, and Robert the Bruce.  I know, right? WTH.

So…  let the fun begin!

Art For Art’s Sake

 

I haven’t been posting much because I’ve been quite sick. So sick that I couldn’t sleep in my own bed. The guest bed seems to be the place. My phone has a new camera and this morning, laying in my cozy nest, I fell in love with my art supplies all over again.

My own art isn’t featured in this room. I never noticed that. Granted, this room is the last frontier as far as home dec goes and as I follow the flow, listening for whispers of what goes where, I’ creating a sacred space. It does, however, feature the art of friends.

Because of my recent illness I’m rethinking some things. I spend too much time on Facebook for starters. It’s been a love hate relationship. It does have its uses. One of the big questions on my mind is what direction do I want to take my art? Do I want to write more? Paint more? Burn more? Sell? Give only? Not expect money from it or expect to make a living? Etc.  The hamster is running on the wheel. At least the wheel is turning again.

I don’t have a clue what the future holds for me but I’m imagining that it can be anything that I want. Golden. Honey dripping. Joy bringing. Smile as my head hits the pillow. Happy. Content. Peaceful. Love, always love.

More will be revealed. Indeed.

Twilight Is Finally Falling

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Layering the twilight, lots of blues and purples and tiny touches of gold and silver. This illustration will be sold as an original. Haven’t decided on whether to sell framed or not framed. What do you think? Should I add in the frame? I find beautiful frames at second hand shops so they don’t cost much (you know how expensive framing is). But it does take time to find the truly good ones and in some cases would add to shipping costs, etc. I’m eyeing a gorgeous ceramic frame for this but due to the square layout we shall see.

This will be one of a series of Sabbat greeting cards (sets and individually), prints, bookmarks. Hopefully at least Mabon, Samhain, and Yule should be ready in time to purchase from my Etsy shop for the year end holidays. I may consider decoupaging some boxes for affordability. There will be more, I am also working on some wood offerings as well as a couple embroidered bags. Perhaps a few things from my private collection too.

At this time I don’t plan on taking commissions. I’ve got enough on my plate. Hope you find something you like there. I’ll be sure to post a link when the shop reopens. While I’m not taking commissions, please let me know what you might like to see in the shop.

More will be revealed.

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Teaser of Designs to Come

I’ve been going through all my sketch books and seeing what old and new design speak to me for illustration work on paper for prints and cards and the like. I’m having to make small adjustments to size and add details that are now possible. I’m also tracing them for posterity so that I can use parts as well. Why reinvent the wheel?

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