Cancer for the week

The tabloids report that Cancerian Tom Cruise has plans to build a $10 million bunker designed to save him and his family when the evil alien overlord Xenu attacks Earth, fulfilling a prophecy of his religion, Scientology. If the reports do have a grain of truth, and Cruise has in fact been considering the project, now would be an excellent time for him to begin construction. I’m not saying that I believe Xenu’s on his way. My point is that you Crabs will place yourself in harmony with cosmic rhythms if you attend to matters that will bolster your security, help you feel safe and peaceful, and foster domestic bliss.

I’m working on it…

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