Wow, Mabon fast approacheth. This is my favorite time of year. It’s probably because of the school year but September always feels more like new year to me. It is a time of new beginnings, new friends, new pencils. I find myself reflecting. What is my harvest this year. What do I want to release? How have things changed from this time last year? Where am I going? *ow* My nose? Who put that wall there??! Why is it so dark??! MOMMY!
Okay, not really but sort of you know?
Last year at this time, in fact THIS WEEK, I was driving to the river to fill my pockets full of rocks. I had had enough. I simply couldn’t bear the pain of life one more moment. If you recall, I got lost on the way and the rest, well, you can read about it here. This year things have shifted. Thank God/dess. Thank you Mary.
When I started up my business, Harvest Blessings, one of the things I said a lot was “Harvest? Is a VERB.” Pause while they catch up…
Last year I thought I had nothing left. Yes, I had family. I had my blog. I had my dear and darling Miss Mitty. I still had my car (and still do miracle of miracles). But my heart was shredded, broken, trounced upon, bleeding, and bereft of hope. I hadn’t had work in 18 months, had lost my home, had lost love and friends, my ex-husband had suicided, and well, can you spell RAW? I knew you could.
This year I still am looking for work. Oh my god. How long is this going to go on? BUT. I have love, I have hope, I have a spiritual path that is feeding me again if not in the ways I thought it might, I have the family and the mitty and you. What I really have is a new pair of glasses. I’m seeing things differently than I did last year. My worth is no longer about being able to support myself financially or defined by “what do you do?”
I am loving autumn so far and looking forward to winter and the return of the light. It is a time of reflection and inventory, taking stock.
So what IS my harvest this year?
Wow wow wow. D and I had a great evening last night.
Everything I needed to talk about got talked about to both our satisfactions. I owned my parts. You know, I don’t need apologies. I need acknowledgement and I got it. I need to feel heard and seen. We smudged. The cleansing continues daily.
I came home feeling relaxed and happy. And hopeful. Oh and dear readers? This man? This spiritual but non-affiliated man? When I said that I loved September it is my favorite month? He said he couldn’t decide between October or September. That October feels different, that there is something about the air and the energy that is so noticeable. Heh. Oh yes, he’s a sensitive all right.
Wait, there’s more.
The rotting deck off the back of our house has been replaced, we have a new roof, the main bath is being renovated this week and all plumbing and electrical problems are being repaired. New insulation will be going in the attic space. I have a new apartment, a darling and lovely apartment. The garage is well and truly now a storage area for things that should be stored.
Assuming my coven mate starts to work on HER part of the event that was the final straw for me taking a leave of absence from the coven I will return to the coven at Yule and accept the offer of my second degree elevation. My high priestess says I have done the work and done it WELL. For me though, there must be peace and until the other party can say the same and she and I can talk (I will be requesting an elder as a mediator) I can not return. There must be, if in circle only, perfect love and perfect trust. What happens outside of circle I don’t really care about. We don’t need to be friends with everyone we circle with outside of the circle.
My brother and his family are coming from France to celebrate Halloween with us, to see the new home front developments, and to see my dad before he’s completely lost his marbles. I can hardly wait. I ADORE my brother and his family. Can. Hardly. Wait…
The Work and the Art
I’m working on a masthead for a small website for a client I adore. I’m working on projects around the house. I’m working on the Rigid Container Box as well as some other artistic things. I’ve got a project going with a friend of mine who is a metal smith. She makes the most gorgeous silver and copper jewelry. Our collaboration, at the request of one of the galleries she has her work in, will be a prototype to see if we want to make more, how it is received. It is very twee and when it is done, I will share more.
So, I have a lot on my plate in the next few weeks and I marvel that I ever had time for a full time job. But a full time job I need so very much, please Lord and Lady? Make that part of this year’s harvest too? A full time, well paying, full benefits, vacation/sick day providing, lovely people smiling JOB. By Samhain?