I need some beauty in my life right now

I noticed the other day that the golden chain tree (Laburnum) is in bloom. I don’t know exactly what it is about this tree but it makes me so happy to see it in its full glory.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Tis muggy here today. Stifflingly muggy. Tonight it promises to rain and after the very high heat of this weekend that will be fine with me. Less on the water bill…

Friday I got some awesome support from folks at my 12 step meeting. Including a really nice hug from a guy who doesn’t usually say much. He said “you’re a good person and you’re handling this very well.” I really, really needed what I got Friday evening.

Saturday as I was walking across the parking lot on my way to silver smithing class a crow buzzed me. Not unusual this time of year with newborns coming out. But this crow flew up behind me, flapped my neck with it’s right wing and then landed on the small tree in front of me. And just looked at me. No frantic cawing or fuzzing. Just looked at me. Then it dropped to the ground and began pecking at some crumbs. First, I was so happy that I got “flapped” that I only called out “ooooh” and then turned to the crow and said “Is there something you are trying to tell me?” I thought it might be a message about what is going on at work but I’m still not clear yet. It was cool to get my neck flapped by its wing, it felt like support at the least. It occurred to me it might be the Morrigan, one of my patron deities, telling me that she was behind me, gently, in battle.

I spent the rest of the weekend laying pretty low. I had taken Friday off to get over the BS of Thursday, to tend to my aching back from pulling all the weeds in my garden Thursday, they were all named “boss,” and to just chill. I did lots of puttering, winter bedding switched to summer bedding, cleaned out the fridge, organized some stuff, took a couple naps, showered, enjoyed my newly weeded garden, hung out with Miss Mitty.

I have a few irons in the fire project wise and while I got a lot done, I really took it at the pace it wanted to go instead of hurrying. Two commissions I’ve been working on took a temporary back seat to a hat that needed to made right away for a friend who’s losing his hair to chemo right now. Hat is done and I still made enough progress on the other two projects to be happy.

All in all, considering how much the work issues tried to impose their crazy hamster wheel selves into my consiousness I managed to focus on other things. Sitting in the cool grass in my nightie after a cooling shower, after the sun just went down, listening to the breezes, the crows, Junior the visiting cat hanging out in the back area…

Aahhhhhhhhhhh

I did a divination last night using my trusty DruidCraft deck. Basically wanting to know how this job thing is going to work out. What I got was that after a period of depression and toil everything is going to be better than ever. I ran a draft proposal by the LHOG this morning and that kind of backed up my plan as he said he was really hoping I would come to him with a plan that was more than what I’m getting. Plus he said something Jeshua said when I asked why I’m here in this job with this boss. I’m here to teach him something. Okay. I can do that. I think in the end I’m going to be more autonomous, perhaps more money, and more job satisfaction. Well, yeah, I can dig that.

Going to a meeting tonight, need all the support and venting I can get…

Bobby’s hat

The metal smith stuff that will be sewn on pouches and, well, stuff… (My wire wrapping leaves a bit to be desired but that was a toughie too…

The two commissions…

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