Spiritual teacher A.H. Almaas believes that a genuinely creative act is always motivated by generosity. If that’s true, how do you explain all the ego-obsessed “geniuses” who treat everyone like dirt even as they churn out their supposedly brilliant art? In any case, I’m siding with Almaas’ definition, and I advise you to keep it in mind now that you’re in the most imaginative and self-expressive phase of your astrological cycle. To ensure that your creative juices keep flowing in ways that make you feel really good, dedicate them to spreading inspiration and giving gifts. Halloween costume suggestions: a pregnant painter, a flower exuding bursts of pollen, a sexy midwife.
From Rob Brezsny

It totally amazes me how his horoscopes are so dead on.   And this so validates this past weekend and how I feel about my art.  I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me, “You should sell this stuff!”  At first I would say, “There’s no way I’ll be paid what this is worth as far as time and labor is concerned.”   But they always replied, “You need to market it to the rich.”  And my eyes would glaze over at the word “Market.”  My reply these days is different.  “I only do my work for love.”

GAH!  Market my work?

Back in 2000 at the age of 41 I quit my boring as hell job as an admin asst, moved in with my parents, and went back to school full time to get a two year degree in web design and development.  I had gone to a basic html class 8 months earlier and fell in love.  I geek on the code and the art.  I was totally stoked to be able to be creative and get paid for it.

Blithely I ignored two of the required classes.  Copyright law and marketing.  I come from a long line of legal beagles in my family.  City park named after my grandfather, a superior court judge, uncle a lawyer, father a lawyer. Worked for dad on Saturdays for years.  Dad really wanted me to be lawyer.  But I was into sex, drugs, and rock and roll back when college for his daughter was still a hopeful glimmer in his eye.  Dad also has a degree in Political Science and we still do a lot of talking about law and politics.  But I don’t want to BE one, either of them.

But Marketing?!  Oh my god.  Before I had started school this last time I had visions of making a really good living as a web designer. Six months into my studies the dot com crash happened.  I was not worried about lots of money any more but about there being any jobs at all.  And then I took marketing.  And I knew that no matter how many well paying web jobs there were out there, no way could I work my ass off to sell people things they don’t need and can’t afford.  The manipulations made me ill.  The waste to the MaMa made me ill.  I couldn’t participate in it, I simply don’t believe in it.  I knew that I would have to return to a job at either a charity or an educational institution.

After graduation it took a few years and I did have to take another boring (and abusive it turned out) job but I did get the experience I needed and now I do what I love for people whose work I believe in.  This matters to me a lot.  And I don’t make much more money than I did as an admin. asst.  Well, I guess I do but they take more out now that I’m considered a professional so what I take home is the same.

But I can sleep at night.  And I have a lot of fun on the job most of the time.

My other art, the textiles stuff, that I do outside of work?  I very rarely sell it.  I did try it once with a company, Autumn’s Path, but either their server is down or they have closed up shop.  The work I did for them using their designs was beautiful and she loved it.  But for some reason NONE of it sold.  And then I knew my heart was right.  I can only create art if it’s from the heart to the heart.  I give my stuff away as gifts and as donations for fund raisers. And in this case the fund raisers tend to be spiritually based, pagan based.

I’ve been tempted to make up a bunch of stuff and try to sell it our local pagan events that have merchants.  But something keeps holding me back. 

I get much more pleasure out of just making stuff and seeing what happens.  And usually the work just sings.  As soon as I try to make something with someone else’s parameters in mind, I loose interest and the work becomes blase.  I’m okay with that.

Art for Love’s sake.

So what do you do when you write a fearless and searching moral inventory, find the courage and acceptance to make amends for your part in a situation where the people you are making amends to actually screwed up? Your part was simply getting upset with them for their behavior. How do you make amends when they think they are innocent and you are unreasonable? What you do is attempt to make contact for the sole purpose of apologizing for your part. Perhaps they are so righteous that they won’t meet with you. What do you do? You move on, that’s what you do. And that is what I did. Done.

It’s a gorgeous sunny day today. Perfect Autumn day. Misty morning followed by glorious blues juxtaposed with intense reds and golds. Spent some time outside at lunch with my face lifted to the sun. Niiiiice.

This weekend was The Ex’s Birthday Weekend. We had a pretty darned good time too. Friday we went to see Elizabeth: The Golden Age with some friends. We both loved the movie with one caveat. 2-3 scenes of completely gratuitous violence. I really don’t need to see HOW they cut out someone’s tongue. I just need to know that they did it. Gah. Aside from that it was a feast for the eyes. Costumes? Glorious. Period accurate? Hmmmm, not an expert but probably only sort of accurate. But gorgeous none the less. Amazing scenes and photography. And Clive Owen?? Ever since King Arthur I’ve been intrigued. But in Elizabeth? Aside from the fact that he never blinks in a scene he is one fine man to feast your eyes upon. Yes indeed. And boy does he look good in Tudor/Elizabethan clothing. Told you so. Ow.

Saturday was nice with a slow awakening. After The Ex opened presents from his family, I dashed home to get the birthday feast on the table and his presents wrapped. Afterwards we went to the Gaia’s Temple Spiraldance Fundraiser and had a really good time. It was just the rightsize for me. Anything too big and I get a bit antsy really. Ayeshadream met us there and did me the honor of bidding for, and winning, two of my donated pieces. Everything I donated sold and that made me very happy.

The Ex was so very sweet and won a bid for a new bread bowl for me. On his own birthday. It is really gorgeous. Hand made with the slab technique, the outside has a clear glaze so that the terra cotta color gleams. The inside is glazed with blues blacks whites and a dash of green in an abstract oak leaf pattern. Dots in the main colors circle the brim. I made brownies in it on Sunday. It is just what I needed since my bread mixing bowl of over 20 years broke in my last move. It was a wedding present in 1981 and while I loved the size of it and the look it did have memories attached I didn’t really want to be part of my baking. So I am just in heaven. I see many years of happy mixing in this work of art.

Oh and the Spiraldance? Lovely, lovely pre-Samhain ritual. 5 beautfiul altars. A very long spiral dance. Wonderful company. It did my little pagan heart good. Looking for a smaller more formal ritual with some of the same people on the 31st. It’s so very nice to have a beloved partner who shares your spirituality. Truly a special gift.

I was exhausted by Sunday and totally crashed after work Monday evening. Normally I have a Monday 12 step meeting but I fell asleep and woke up too late to get there. And that was aside from the fact that I had a very difficult time swimming up to the surface of consiousness. It was one of those times when your mind AND body are discombobulated and disconnected from what we call reality. I guess I really needed some extra sleep.

It was so nice to be able to celebrate his birthday in this way this year. He got a resounding smack on the lips from the High Priestess who was sorry she hadn’t known or everyone would have had to sing the H.B. Song

So, here it is, just for you honey.

I’m missing a couple steps between 12 & 13 but it’s pretty much a go!

Medieval Tailor Medieval Turnshoe Demo

I began stitching the second shoe on Friday night and took some pictures. As soon as I get all the way around I will take pictures of the meeting up of the upper edges and sewing on the heel stiffener. I did not sew the stiffener on first after all as I wanted to make sure I had it in the right place and since sewing can adjust this area, I thought I would just suffer and sew it on after the shoe is constructed.

The sole and upper are tacked to the last and the first stitch is begun. (Note that the toe of the sole dips a bit. This is because the person who cut out the sole didn’t cut it the same as the wooden foot piece on the stitching last.)

I should have shot this with the needles in the picture. I have threaded a long piece of waxed linen onto two long blunt needles, one on each end, and inserted the thread into the first hole. This allows you to sew up a seam with both needles creating a seam that is very strong and double sewn.

Stay tuned for Part 3