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About Cynthia

I am a textile artist, embroiderer, wood burner, costumer, painter, and weaver who sees magic and change in the chain stitch and a well done Palestrina knot. I wish I had more control over the ways of the human world but alas, all I can control are my actions and my attitude in life and the consistency of my stitches. And sometimes even that doesn’t pan out as hoped and I must rip rip rip.

Mabon blessings

The Ex and I had a lovely weekend. It started off a little rocky for a couple of reasons. One, I’d had a migraine since Thursday morning and it continued through Saturday. Two, we were still in negotiations regarding what works best for us.  We live 30 miles away from each other, we are both artists, and we both crave at least a little solitude, if not a lot.  It’s a good thing we love each other very much, I’ve never had a partner so willing to work his butt off for the health of self and the relationship. I am in bliss over that, even though the process can be a bit awful really.

These acorns, chestnut, and oak twig are from the park area near my office.  The chestnut was just a green spiky ball when I plucked it from it’s mama.  I just love how it split open.  It resembles how I feel. Split apart and yet with a shiny new seed in my heart, ready to grow into something strong and beautiful.

I did a card reading on Friday afternoon to see what was going on and got what I already knew.  Lots of letting go of people and issues.  But with the new season there are new feelings and new beginnings. That coupled with the growing pains of our relationship and the loss of my best friend last spring (irreconcilable differences), I realized that if something happened to my relationship with The Ex my close confidants are down to not enough folks.  It is time to widen my circle and to find some new heart friends. 

We attended a local coven’s Mabon ritual on Saturday evening.  It was well and truly wonderful.  They even had a bridge for us to cross from one season to the next, led by a woman in a black shawl carrying a lantern welcoming us to the dark.  It was really a lovely rite and The Ex and I have bulbs in compost mixed with ashes from the burning of the God at Lammas.  Niiiice. Cakes and ale was concord and champagne grapes fresh from someone’s garden. There was a potluck which is always nice as this group knows how to eat. One of the dishes, soup, had about 20 vegetables and herbs in it from gardens of the various women attending.  Lovely. 

So while I’m standing in line to serve myself up some of the amazing fruit tart that was there, something hits me on the head. Right in the middle of my crown chakra. There is nothing, and I mean nothing but sky, above me.  The gal next to me says “I saw it hit you and then it hit my leg.” It wasn’t a gift from the birds.  We were totally puzzled, couldn’t find it anywhere. Whatever IT was.  About 30 minutes later it comes to light that some of the gals at the table were throwing grapes at us to make us leave the tart alone.  HAR.  Might not be funny to you but we were cracking up.  They were telling the story of watching us trying to figure out what had happened.  It really was hilarious.  It felt like an initiation really.  This was only my second time with this group and I feel like I belong and stuff now. Warm fuzzy feelings.  I am hoping that some new and wonderful friends are going to come out of this group.  I really enjoyed all of the women who were there and look forward to bonding in some way.  I’m excited about the possibilities.

The Ex and I were home by 8:00 and watched Elecktra on DVD and had as romantic an evening as one can have watching a comic book assassin find her soul.  Lots of snuggling and art.  Lots of talk, all of it happy talk.  Not discussion, not negotiation, nothing serious, just chatting.  We needed this so badly this weekend.  We both feel a renewed commitment to whatever it is we are doing together.

Sunday found us at Gaia’s Temple for the Mabon service.  The topic was about making choices told through a new story of Persephone and her love, Hades.  The Ex turned to me on the drive home and asked if I saw the many parallels between the teaching and our last couple of weeks.  Yes, Love, Yes I did.  It was very validating and fulfilling. I really felt that the decisions we had made the day before were blessed.  I think The Ex did too. There were fresh heirloom apples for all, a waasail song to the apple tree, kids coming in with their crafty twig goodness.  Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Afterwards we went our separate ways to nurture ourselves in whatever ways we chose.  I got home and took a 3.5 hour nap. I was just exhausted from all the stress, the discussions, the rituals, the migraine, and the fun.  And I forgot to mention that I was also dog sitting at my parents house so not in my own home until after Gaia’s Temple.  All the left over stuff was all gone when I awoke and I finished off the weekend with some crime dramas, some more embroidery on my Wheel of the Year wall hanging (photos of progress coming very soon).  I’m very pleased how some are progressing and it’s quite clear it might be a while coming because I keep adding more to some of them which means my thoughts that I might keep it simple are for naught.  But I’m really enjoying this project.

I found out that there are two of my pouches left over from last year’s fundraiser for Gaia’s Temple so I don’t need to give them as much this year as then.  It also means that 4 I donated sold for a lot more than I thought since I had thought that they sold 6.  Wheeee.

Harvest and donation blessings!

Naughty My Little Pony

My friend Countess_E did this and it just cracked me up!  Had to do it.

You Are Opium!

You like to have fun and enjoy life. Reeeeeally enjoy life. If it isn’t fast, loud, or extreme forget it. You value friendship and are loyal and will not hesiste to go off if someone crosses you.
What Naughty My Little Pony Are You?

Loving Kindness Meditation

This was posted over on Druid’s Journal and I liked it so much I wanted to keep it.  So posting here for safe keeping.
How to Do the Loving Kindness MeditationGet comfortable, in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Put the words of the meditation – which I’m about to give you – on a piece of paper and keep it handy. Take some deep, calming breaths, and relax your whole body.

Now you can start. Begin by affirming your love for yourself:

I love myself.
May I be free from anger.
May I be free from sadness.
May I be free from pain.
May I be free from all suffering.
May my body be healthy and strong.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be happy.
May I be at peace.

These are words that you can affirm and be in tune with even if you are drowning in egotistical fear. And the wonderful thing is that by focusing your attention on love, goodwill, and healing, you divert the ego’s attention away from fear; and as soon as that happens, the ego begins to lose its grip on you.

Then you expand your love and compassion out to your friends and associates:

I spread this loving kindness out.

I send love to those who are dear to me.
May they be free from difficulties, free from pain, free from sadness.
May they be free from anger and ill-will. May they be healthy and happy. May they be at peace.

I send loving kindness to my friends and associates.
May they be free from difficulties, free from pain, free from sadness.
May they be free from anger and ill-will. May they be healthy and happy. May they be at peace.

Now the ego’s attention is directed away from itself, towards the ones you love. As you imagine their happiness, your attention is drawn further away from yourself.

As the meditation proceeds, you are pulled further and further away from your personal troubles and desires, out beyond the edges of the universe to the limits of the imagination:

I send love and kindness to all the people of the world, known and unknown, everywhere on earth.
May all on this planet be free from suffering.
May they be free from grief, pain, and despair.
May they be happy and at peace.

May all beings in the universe be free from suffering.
May all beings in all universes, everywhere, be free from suffering.
May they be well, and happy, and at peace.

May all beings of all kinds, in all directions, be happy and at peace.
Above and below, near and far, high and low.
All types of beings.
Humans and non-humans. Seen and unseen. May they be happy; may they be at peace.

I open my heart and receive loving kindness of all beings in return. I let that love into my heart.

May all be well and happy.
May there be peace.

Loving Kindness Meditation

This was posted over on Druid’s Journal and I liked it so much I wanted to keep it.  So posting here for safe keeping.

How to Do the Loving Kindness Meditation

Get comfortable, in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Put the words of the meditation – which I’m about to give you – on a piece of paper and keep it handy. Take some deep, calming breaths, and relax your whole body.

Now you can start. Begin by affirming your love for yourself:

I love myself.
May I be free from anger.
May I be free from sadness.
May I be free from pain.
May I be free from all suffering.
May my body be healthy and strong.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be happy.
May I be at peace.

These are words that you can affirm and be in tune with even if you are drowning in egotistical fear. And the wonderful thing is that by focusing your attention on love, goodwill, and healing, you divert the ego’s attention away from fear; and as soon as that happens, the ego begins to lose its grip on you.

Then you expand your love and compassion out to your friends and associates:

I spread this loving kindness out.

I send love to those who are dear to me.
May they be free from difficulties, free from pain, free from sadness.
May they be free from anger and ill-will. May they be healthy and happy. May they be at peace.

I send loving kindness to my friends and associates.
May they be free from difficulties, free from pain, free from sadness.
May they be free from anger and ill-will. May they be healthy and happy. May they be at peace.

Now the ego’s attention is directed away from itself, towards the ones you love. As you imagine their happiness, your attention is drawn further away from yourself.

As the meditation proceeds, you are pulled further and further away from your personal troubles and desires, out beyond the edges of the universe to the limits of the imagination:

I send love and kindness to all the people of the world, known and unknown, everywhere on earth.
May all on this planet be free from suffering.
May they be free from grief, pain, and despair.
May they be happy and at peace.

May all beings in the universe be free from suffering.
May all beings in all universes, everywhere, be free from suffering.
May they be well, and happy, and at peace.

May all beings of all kinds, in all directions, be happy and at peace.
Above and below, near and far, high and low.
All types of beings.
Humans and non-humans. Seen and unseen. May they be happy; may they be at peace.

I open my heart and receive loving kindness of all beings in return. I let that love into my heart.

May all be well and happy.
May there be peace.

What’s Cooking In YOUR Cauldron

Autumn is here for certain now.  Many days of late with occasional sun breaks but some dampness (YAY!) and clouds and breaking out the lightweight fall coats and sweaters.  Flannel pillowcases on the bed, soft fuzzy blanket out of storage.  Autumn projects bubbling in my head, preparations for the Mabon ritual this Saturday evening.  For the potluck I’m making little pumpkin breads in muffin pans where each is shaped like a leaf.  Makes me very smiley.  Good friends, smiling faces, small bon fire, yummy food (these folks know how to potluck).  Quite excited about it actually. And that is good as I haven’t felt excited about much of anything over the past few months. Down in the Dumps I’ve been.

There has been a definite trend in my life of late to jet things go.  Har, I mean LET things go.  Interesting slip there.  Jet propulsion expulsion explosion…

Life is changing in many ways for me at the moment. As I’ve stated before, friendships and beliefs and attachments of many kinds have been under the microscope this summer. And it seems also under the sickle.  The death of the God reflected in my life. The end, the sacrifice, the harvest.  And now the fresh winds arrive to blow the ashes into the skies and send them on their way to nourish the lands for next years crop.

Here it is, Autumn, and for me, that is new beginnings.  I do as much Autumn Cleaning as I do Spring Cleaning.  Maybe even more.  And I feel fresh and free and giddy for the first time in a long time.  It really tells me that I’m letting go of the right things.

All summer I have been in, what my first sponsor called, The Gap.  I’m gapping in the space between what no longer works and is gone and what does work but isn’t here yet.  Gapping can be an icky place to be.  You feel like you’re sitting in a fog until it passes. I do feel that something has definitely been bubbling in cauldron, it isn’t empty. What is really happening is the Soup in the Cauldron.  Add a bit of butter, then some onions and some celery, then some water, then a chicken (omnivore here), some carrots, corn, spinach, zuchini, and maybe some barley.  And don’t forget the spices of life.  Thyme, summer savory, salt, pepper, perhaps a touch of rosemary.

And suddenly, what looked like just a pile of stuff totally unrelated to each other is soup. Something that nourishes you, that feeds you, that makes you smile, and warms the bones of you.

I?  Feel like my soup is almost ready.  I need to add some spices and get out the bowl and spoon.  The wheel is turning and I’m rising up into the blessings of the season.   That steam wafting up from the cauldron smells darned good to me.

One last note from Pagan Godspell:

“I am half rock n’ roll and half gregorian chant as I stare down the long, golden road of fall – noticing as I drive the long dusty farm roads to various appointments, how the corn turns a rusty shade of red and blushes new as a peach at sunset. How the rain comes cold and sweet like a lemon. How the creeks lap at the grass and wax blue as the best evening sky.

And here I sit in the breathless perfection of creeping spectacular death – the tending to the sleeping bed of the Mama before her long, ancient nap – and….well, it’s hard to stay irritated when the world is just so freakin’ gorgeous.”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh