1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/
2. Put in Username: nycareers and Password: landmark.
3. Take their “Career Matchmaker” questions.
4. Post the top ten results

1.Website Designer  
2.Historian
3.Fashion Designer
4.Desktop Publisher
5.Animator
6.Dental Lab Tech
7.Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
8.Costume Designer      
9.Set Designer
10.Multimedia Developer

For those who don’t know me well I am a web designer for a living.  In my free time, in addition to my textile art and interests, I do historical clothing reproduction.

Kind of uncanny huh

Sometimes you have to stand up for your beliefs, your rights, your spirit.  Sometimes, when you do that, folks get pretty twisted over it.  And Sometimes, things go bump in the day.  They do.  Swear to God/dess.

No, wait.

Sometimes, you have to sacrifice.

I have a couple thumbnail journals for my art that I keep, one smallish and one largish.  The largish one has some drawings in it and the word SACRIFICE written there.  It was from a dream I had had that night.  I don’t know about you but deity does indeed visit me in dreams, recognizable as all get out.  And I  remember every single one of them.  The God tends to show himself to me in the form of the sun or Aragorn.  I know.  What can I say.  I guess I relate to that imagery of King/God.

Underneath the drawings of the God are the words SACRIFICE in really big letters

I’ve been asked to sacrifice a lot of late.  The people whose friendships I sacrificed (yes another one this week) say I’m mean. Or crazy. Or a bitch.  They are offended.  They are blameless.  They are victim.  Sometimes, if feels like  They are Legion.

But you know what? I’ve done a lot of work. I know when I’m being screwed. I know when I’m not being validated.  And I’m learning, finally, to stop bending over so far.  And when to cut the cord.

I’ve been pretty dissatisfied since I took that Arts and Sciences position.  I came to it with stars in my eyes.  I know, what was I thinking?  But I really saw it as a fresh start, that I could be a tenderfoot and promote the arts and have fun.  I got my faced pushed in so unneccessarily over such minor shit, 3 times over 3 months, that I was this close to done.  This last thing pushed me all the way over the edge.

Some friends of mine did something that violated a few of my boundaries.  Big time.  For the sake of not harming the one I did NOT sacrifice I will not go into details. That one? Had the courage to come to me, tell me what happened, and apologized.  And is facing the consequences like an adult. The others, those in denial, chose to turn it around from what they did into how mean I was to call them on it.  Fuck. Grow UP.

So.  After weeks of agonizing, I have dropped all those activities related to this group.  Will I ever go to one of their events again? Sure.  Will I miss seeing some folks more regularly?  Sure.  When I am not so raw will I go hang out once in awhile?  Sure.  Will I trust that things will change in this small community and that doing anything more than just hanging out is a good I idea?  Nope.

I await the response of one last person to my boundary.  I believe it was a totally fair boundary.  But if they don’t agree?  It’s going to break my heart very badly to take care of myself over and above them.  It is hard to accept that we both had an inability to see how mislead we have been in a person. But I hope, I hope, that their blinders will be removed and that they come along.

Tomorrow, all might be well, and I want to be optimistic but it’s always unnerving to give an ultimatum when you know that you actually have to keep it if it is to have any value.

I’m just sick about it.

Edit Oct 5 : All worked out well

Sometimes you have to stand up for your beliefs, your rights, your spirit.  Sometimes, when you do that, folks get pretty twisted over it.  And Sometimes, things go bump in the day.  They do.  Swear to God/dess.

No, wait.

Sometimes, you have to sacrifice.

I have a couple thumbnail journals for my art that I keep, one smallish and one largish.  The largish one has some drawings in it and the word SACRIFICE written there.  It was from a dream I had had that night.  I don’t know about you but deity does indeed visit me in dreams, recognizable as all get out.  And I  remember every single one of them.  The God tends to show himself to me in the form of the sun or Aragorn.  I know.  What can I say.  I guess I relate to that imagery of King/God.

Underneath the drawings of the God are the words SACRIFICE in really big letters

I’ve been asked to sacrifice a lot of late.  The people whose friendships I sacrificed (yes another one this week) say I’m mean. Or crazy. Or a bitch.  They are offended.  They are blameless.  They are victim.  Sometimes, if feels like  They are Legion.

But you know what? I’ve done a lot of work. I know when I’m being screwed. I know when I’m not being validated.  And I’m learning, finally, to stop bending over so far.  And when to cut the cord.

I’ve been pretty dissatisfied since I took that Arts and Sciences position.  I came to it with stars in my eyes.  I know, what was I thinking?  But I really saw it as a fresh start, that I could be a tenderfoot and promote the arts and have fun.  I got my faced pushed in so unneccessarily over such minor shit, 3 times over 3 months, that I was this close to done.  This last thing pushed me all the way over the edge.

Some friends of mine did something that violated a few of my boundaries.  Big time.  For the sake of not harming the one I did NOT sacrifice I will not go into details. That one? Had the courage to come to me, tell me what happened, and apologized.  And is facing the consequences like an adult. The others, those in denial, chose to turn it around from what they did into how mean I was to call them on it.  Fuck. Grow UP.

So.  After weeks of agonizing, I have dropped all those activities related to this group.  Will I ever go to one of their events again? Sure.  Will I miss seeing some folks more regularly?  Sure.  When I am not so raw will I go hang out once in awhile?  Sure.  Will I trust that things will change in this small community and that doing anything more than just hanging out is a good I idea?  Nope.

I await the response of one last person to my boundary.  I believe it was a totally fair boundary.  But if they don’t agree?  It’s going to break my heart very badly to take care of myself over and above them.  It is hard to accept that we both had an inability to see how mislead we have been in a person. But I hope, I hope, that their blinders will be removed and that they come along.

Tomorrow, all might be well, and I want to be optimistic but it’s always unnerving to give an ultimatum when you know that you actually have to keep it if it is to have any value.

I’m just sick about it.

Edit Oct 5 : All worked out well

I had a wonderful vacation. Spent time with my parents, eating and laughing, and with mom, beading. Turned her on to a whole new level of temptation known as the Joann’s and Michael’s bead selection. She has always shopped at specialty bead stores and never with 40% off sales. She was in heaven and we found some bodacious stuff. Stuff even Boudiccea would love.

I relaxed, got some of my list done, some things that I forgot to put on the list, and ignored the rest. Niiice. Read a couple books, including The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach To Igniting Your Divine Spark by Sera Beak. You can find herblog at Spiritual Cowgirl. Naps, yuuum.

The main thing I did that I forgot to put on my list was to make a new fitted slipcover with separate cushion cover for my grandmother’s old easy chair. It’s a lovely chair with wonderful carved legs but it’s been too well used and needed a spruce up. I used a lovely leaf green wide wale corduroy and it looks darned spiffy.

Where does Magic come from? According to the homeless fellow who showed up at the local AA office, well, let me start from the beginning. A group of us were buying food for lunch, we were personning the phones Saturday afternoon, (and I decided to treat the HF, Bob by name. I took him his lunch and he asked me about my tattoo. The only one I can have because turns out that tattoo ink has nickle in it and I’m allergic. And it’s a very special tattoo. I had it done when I dedicated myself to the Goddess in 1992. It’s a tribal band that always made me think of a faery crown. At any rate Bob asks me “What does your tattoo mean?” Hmmm, well nothing exactly, but you could say its faery jewelry. “Do you believe in magic,” he asks? Why, yes, yes I do. Now imagine this fellow, Bob, stabbing and pointing and waviing and getting very worked up. So worked up in fact that every time I spoke with him that day, I covered my heart chakra with my hand. Very intense. “Do you know where magic comes from?” he very gleefully demands? “It comes from the Land of La. Lala Land. Between the light and the dark.”

Why yes, Bob, I believe you are right. A totally open channel, poor Bob can’t shut the stuff out. But he is very excited about it and carries his star and magic information in a collaged pink binder. Go Bob.

Grasshoppers: The Ex, my love, brought home a lovely bronze grasshopper pin for me from the SCA event he attended this past weekend. It’s beautiful.

Click to enlarge any image:

Gaia’s Temple donations: Made wonderful progress on both my wheel of the year project and the Gaia’s Temple donations. Have some pictures of the items. Three checkbook covers that are done and four pouches which have the embroidery done but are not put together yet. I have a few weeks to get that together. And an eyepillow.   I seem to have forgotton to take a picture of the triple moon pouch.

We are on the home stretch of our new departmental website launch at work. I’ve got the links fixed from the link checker and now only two things need to be done. Continuity patrol just in case some pages don’t conform to the status quo of HR’s and such. And review by the Executive Committee and staff for content only. That ought to keep me busy for the two weeks I will have after the review to fix it all. But before those two weeks?

I get a week off. 9 glorious days of living in the moment. *satisfied sigh* Two days with my sweetie at his place and then the rest at my place mostly. I will visit him on Tuesday evening (we live 30 miles apart and don’t see each other daily, usually weekly) but then I won’t see him until my vacation is over as he will be camping with some friends the following weekend. The rest of that time? Completely unscheduled. YES.

9 wonderful days. PutterPutterPutter. SleepSleepSleep. WhateverWhateverWhatever.

I do have some plans of course. Things I want to do. Projects I want to plan and get into production.

I have been voraciously reading books on polymer clay sculpture and other uses. Tons of books and Internet surfing. The stuff I’ve found knocks my socks off. I had no idea that it could be used for something seriously classy. And I’m raring to go make some stuff that I can give as Yule prezzies, sell at our local pagan fairs, and donate to my fundraising charity. I mean, wow, check some of this stuff out.

Luann Udell
Desiree
Forest Rogers

Wow, really just WOW

I’ve been playing with clay for a few weeks and have discovered some things to do and not to do, mostly just getting used to the medium.  I woke up this morning with some designs just popping out of my head.  After percolating their designs for about a month, I awoke seeing exactly how to take what I love and make it my own.  YES.

I plan on sewing up a medieval tunic (cut out and embroidered just needs to be built) to wear to a local SCA event September 22nd, Emprise of the Black Lion, where I am running the Arts and Sciences tournament and display.  I have 6 entrants and 6 more displays.  Yipee!  I might not sew it though as I have some things already made I can wear.  We’ll see what I feel like. Machine sewing isn’t my favorite.

The List
Some good reading
Blackberries to pick
Work on Wheel of the Year felt embroidery project
Work on pouches and other items for Gaia’s Temple Fundraiser at Samhain
Take some glorious naps
Stay up late
Wake up when I feel like it
Hang out with Miss Mitty and make sure she gets the extra loving she deserves
Design a tunic or two for ritual use
Take stock and inventory both inside and out

Not one of those things is a must or a should.  All of it is fun fun fun

What is not on the list is daily computer usage so the blog will be somewhat silent unless I really have something I must get out of my system.  One wonders how I will keep up to date with the blogs I read regularly.  Email will not be reliable.  Have a wonderful long weekend and enjoy the last of the summer.