I met with my boss today for my annual evaluation. I like this woman a lot. I think she’s fair. We are close in age, she is also an aging hippy, we get along. But she hasn’t really supervised me. But when my last boss left last month she left this undone and for her boss to do.

I’ve had a lot of health issues this year. A lot. Normally I have a lot anyway, I have fibromyalgia, but usually I can accrue a little sick leave once in a whlie. But this year? I was worried about this because professional staff at the UW can be let go for absenteeism, no matter what or how good the reason is. Happened to a co-worker of mine in my last job. She didn’t show up to work or call one day, very unusual for her. They started proceedings to fire her and completed the task AND sent her a letter. Turned out she was in the hospital because of a close call with death from an attempted suicide.  I was just so angry that I quit not long afterwards.  So Ive been worried lately. But I did at least know these folks were much nicer. And I was right.

S., my interim boss, talked to several of my co-workers and things she related back to me almost made me cry they were so generous and kind. *sniff* Just really nice. She wanted to know about the things from my last eval that we noted as room for improvement and when I told what they were she rolled her eyes. Ridiculous and no need she thought. Who knew.

I had already decided that I had to give her the list of the past six months of my life in order to see if that helped with the absenteeism issue. And it did. Here is the list, which makes one cry “Holy Crap Batman!”

1. My partner had a health breakdown at Christmas and left the state for two months to recover (frantic I was)
2. Menopausal insanity (thank god for medication)
3. The weirdness caused by menopause medication, omg
4. 2 sinus infections, two bouts of antibiotics in one month
5. A breast lump
6. Diagnosis of arthritis (which turned out to be something else, something I can fix)

She was astonished.  And suddenly understood.  And immediately asked if there was anything that mangement could do to help me.  *sniff*  What a difference.  I told that their understanding while I worked on some of this was so appreciated and that it was my greatest goal this year as well as taking the year to practice all the things I’ve learned in classes and conferences this year.  Approved.  And I get a raise. We all get raises this year.  But they are merit only for professional staff. 

What a gift this job is for me.  I’m so grateful

And you know. I was in imminent danger of the wheels falling off. I took her in a couple months ago for new tires and new brakes. I requested that they check the CV Joints and let me know the condition. Dire it turned out. Cracked boots and not a lick of lubrication. Which means that dirt and sand was in there grinding away at my axles. I starting planning on spending the money to have the axles replaced. And then the landlord called.

Did you know that you have a very large oil leak? No, really??? Shit, which one. I’d fixed 3 of them but the 4th wasn’t easily accessible and probably meant a valve job. According to my most recent mechanic it meant $3,500 to 4,000. Oh. So I was instructed to put a large pan under my engine when I parked at my home or park on the street and let it run into the water system. Frankly I didn’t think it was hurting the gravel all that much but he’s funny that way. So I put down the pan. And stocked up on more oil.

Then as I was on my way to The Ex’s house this weekend my clutch started slipping on the worst hill in this part of Washington and I knew it was time for the new clutch. Again, not a surprise, I have 115K miles on her. It was time.

And two days latter my muffler starting doing the putt putt. Crap. That had been replaced in the last 4 years but I do a lot of city driving so there goes that.

Add to these things (all of which would cost close to $6,000 to repair) the following:

~ No radio or stereo of any kind for going on 10 years
~ Cracked windshield from last years snow storm
~ Dried and cracked rubber around said winder so when it rained hard (what are the odds?) my car sloshed for days where the water leaked into the side panel
~ The roof rack was missing a support, replaced by a bungie cord. Sadly a friend found a replacement for this a month ago for 50 cents at Value Village. Too little too late.

My Minerva was also a bare bones car. Nothing automatic about her. Steering by Armstrong. Manual transmission (which I liked), hand crank windows (which the new car also has), little seats, no room for passengers. She hauled a lot of stuff over the years but she was small and couldn’t hold much. Even so I felt sad leaving her there at the dealership, empty. Makes me sad even now. She was so good to me. And in the end she was still good because those guys gave me a $1,000 for her. !!!!!! oh yeah. She has been very good to me.

The first thing both The Ex and my mother asked me when they saw the new car was “what is her name?” I now know that it is Bess. She is a firey Celt with red hair, a happy family, she knows her mind, has some gumption, is fiercely loving, and will live a long life.

This morning, tired from not much sleep for various reasons in addition to the tossing and turning over budget, I got in my new rust colored car and set out for the office. She hums, purrs even. I can’t hear the axles rattle. The door doesn’t squeak and neither does the non-existent clutch. The windshield wipers, intermittent!, quietly and cleanly do their job. I turned on the radio but realized that sometimes, especially on quiet rainy mornings, I like the silence. So I turned it off. But last night? Driving down the highway to Kent? I turned her up loud and sang, quite well I might add.

*sigh*  Life is so very good.  For me it is.  I consider Friday the 13th a lucky day. It is how many full moons there are in a year.  One extra for good luck.

Perhaps it’s because I just celebrated two very important anniversaries that I’m in this reflective mood, perhaps it’s because it’s finally not so hot that my brain is frying.  But I find myself really wanting to continue my assessment of what fits in my life and what doesn’t.  And it sure isn’t my cat(s) who don’t fit in my life. They fit all right.  Miss Mitty inside and Miss Broken Ears outside.  She comes by often for food and water and I’m worried about her while I’m gone for Faerieworlds.  I will be asking the cat sitter to leave some food and water out on the shady patio while I am gone.

Several friends got together for a garage sale this past weekend. As a friend of mine, Jan, used to say after a gig when no one but the groupies came, “A good time was had by all.”  We didn’t do nearly as well as we would have liked but after we dropped off everything that was left at the local Value Village, I know that Patrick and I felt much lighter.

It was difficult for me to give in after carrying around a chair for 25 years that my ex-husband stripped of its fabric and stuffing.  I kept thinking I would refinish it one day.  But after 25 years I guess that’s just not going to happen and if I did do it, where would I put it?  I had no room for it.  But it was very sad for me.  It was my grandmother’s chair.  An aspiring upholsterer and successful alcoholic (successful in the fact that he was drunk all the time) he stipped all but one piece of her furniture.  And when I divorced his sorry ass 23 years ago all but this one piece went to the dump.  God, to throw that stuff in a landfill.  Makes me sick for all kinds of reasons.  But I also feel as if I’ve finally let go of the one last thing from that horrible marriage and THAT?  Feels damned good.

Patrick finally decided how he was going to get rid of some dead animal artifacts he’s been carrying around since he was a young boy who thought a real fur and antler jackalope was cool.  Who didn’t know what to do with the stuffed wolf head his parents brought back from a trip to Canada.  He plans on burning it all in a ritual.  And that feels right too.

I’ve changed my LJ and have a new account.  I’ve decided that my SCA involvement is going to be very local, very specific.  I’ve moved on from friendships that were not feeding me any more.  I’m reading Body Sacred by Dianne Sylvan.  It is helping me deal with my negative body issues.  And you know what? It’s working.  I’ve never felt so good about my bod.  And I feel motivated for the first time in my adult life to really take care of myself.  I decided when I turned 45 that I would be in better shape at 50 than I was at 40.  And it’s been a roller coaster, a love hate relationship.  But I finally feel as though I’m getting right sized in the mind and heart about who I am.  That Itty Bitty Shitty Committee is so packed and out of here.  Buh bye.

Faerieworlds is next week and we are looking forward to it.  Yes indeedy.  My lovely faerie bolero is finished but it will be too hot to wear it much I think. The velvet bodice thingie is done.  I will start packing seriously Tuesday night.  Menu planning happens Sunday.  I doesn’t look exactly how I envisioned but it will do for one day. The other day I’m just going as casually as I can.  Aiming for comfort and nothing else.

I’m working on a new wall hanging.  I’m pretty excited about it.  I’ve decided to give myself a very long window to completion so I can decide to embellish a lot or a little.  It is a great wheel of the year in wool felt.  There are 8 pie pieces of ivory felt.  These pieces will have spaces between them to show the black felt background.  I decided that each piece would have an animal and a plant for each Sabbat.  They are the following:

• Yule – cardinal and pine
• Imbolg – lambs and crocus
• Ostara – rabbit and lily
• Beltaine – frog and cattails
• Midsummer – bees, hive, and lavender
• Lammas – Canadian goose and wheat
• Mabon – pumpkin and mouse
• Samhain – nightshade and snake

It sounds a little predictable but I’ve drafted it out and I am just so pleased with how my drawing and design skills are progressing.  Each piece is simple, very simple but I am trying to use scale and balance to keep it from being cutesy.  There are Celtic motifs, vines, and other little bits that will punch it to the next level.  As I finish a pie piece, I will post it to LJ.