I Am A: Neutral Good Human Ranger (7th Level)

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter’s dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger’s Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

I was looking for wooden spools for winding my woolen embroidery threads and found a very cool set of vintage wooden spools with thread still on them on eBay.

The spools are quite large but I’m pleased. I don’t think I’ll keep the thread as it is old and old thread is not good thread generally. The outer layers of thread are badly faded and stained. You can see in the top left that I’ve unwound some of the blue and it’s nice underneath. Going to do a burn test on and see how it fares with my strength test too.

Mostly I just want to wrap my own wools on these, maybe several colors on each spool. This will be a nice touch to reenactment. While I don’t have much documentation for thread spools that are older than that 19th century, at least they are wood and metal instead of plastic. I’ve priced out cute little cutout thread winders but they are exorbitantly priced. These cost me $10 for all six. Instead of $5-20 for one in bone, shell, or wood.

Aren’t they cute???

You worked your ass off in 2007. Am I right, my fellow Cancerian? In fact, you threw yourself into your hard labors with so much dutiful fervor that you sometimes lost sight of the fact that they were mostly just preparation for bigger and better assignments. Luckily for you, I’m here to snap you out of your amnesia. Please begin immediately to formulate a vision of how you will make the transition to those bigger and better assignments.

This reminds me of a billboard I saw around a lot a few years ago, around the time of Martin Luther King’s birthday. There was a series of them, big, huge, black and white photos of him with quotes. (I love Seattle)

I find myself flip flopping between a sense of purpose and full blown depression. This time last year, My Beloved had a major health crisis.  He had decided with the assistance of doctors to stop taking a certain medication. And it turned into a total and complete nightmare. For both of us. I had encouraged him in this experiment and had no small bit of guilt about it when things went horribly and terribly wrong. Four days before Christmas, he disappeared. I had been worried before but I was beside myself at this point. 

A couple of days later he called me and told me that he was leaving Seattle and going home to his family in Minnesota to recuperate. He didn’t know when or IF he would return. I’ll never forget our last night together before he left. He wanted to sleep alone. Neither of us slept at all. Neither had been sleeping well as it was but the stress made it impossible. Finally, just before the first glimmer of dawn, he joined me on the sleeper sofa and we held each other until daylight. We tearfully opened presents and at mid afternoon I took him to the airport and watched as he walked away.  With his medications in his bag and both our hearts breaking.  It was Christmas Eve.

He didn’t return until mid February and honestly until that last week before he returned we still didn’t know if he would. But the medications had begun to kick in again and we both had hope.  I was taking medication for my peri-menopause and managing emotions better by now too.

This year has been incredibly topsy turvy. Lots going on. Most of the hard work I’ve been doing has been inner soul searching. Finding my patience, my balance, my strength, and my love. Trying to live in love even when my heart is breaking or I’m mad as hell, usually both.

So here I am. It is 3 days before the birthday of my son who I gave up for adoption 26 years ago. It is 4 days before my brother arrives from France with his family. It is 5 days before my father’s birthday. It is 6 days before the anniversary of my beloved Nana’s death on Christmas day.  It is 5 days before the anniversary of leaving my love at the airport.

While I’m trying to stay positive about this new experiment we are living, some old stuff is coming up. I try to stay in the moment, out of fear (fear is the mind killer and the soul stealer). I keep asking for guidance from Hekate in particular. The loving and sometimes stern grandmother Goddess with the flaming torch to guide me through my descent and ascent through the Underworld.  Again.

And every day, no matter what, I get to see that torch. I wake up in darkness, my heart pounding, tears close to the surface, doubt and fear and worry plague me. And Hekate shows up almost immediately to light the way to brighter thoughts and brighter deeds.

This morning’s bright message was that both the Beloved and myself are in the middle of our midlife passages and transitions. Suddenly I had something to work with. Something to research. Books have been found.  I find myself able to live in love again.

Love is not the answer.  It is not something you attain and then you move on to another question.  It is simply the assignment, life long.  I try to revel in this most blessed opportunity to continue working on the love assignment.

Last year when I was hanging by a thread, I sought to find Jeshua, the energy of Jesus who M.B. (and now I) cherishes.  I got very still, opened up, found Jeshua on the spiritual plane and I asked him.  “What can I do?  I don’t know what to do.”  Very clearly I heard:

Just love him.

Love is easy when it’s easy. The challenge is to love when it is not easy.  It is still the assignment.

From Tom Robbins:

When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.

As many of you know, I’ve long been interested in historical clothing of western Europe. The older, the better. I spent many years playing around with the 14th century and really got my chops down there. You can see some of the results of my work at my Medieval Tailor website.  This is the 14th century decade that I love the most, the Luttrell Psalter.

But I’ve become bored with the 14th century. I still think it is beautiful and I adore seeing it done well. I love to encourage that. But if I have to sew another kirtle right now I’m going to scream. And I just hate being bound in with tight lacing on a hot day. Or any other day for that matter. I have fun with hot flashes on a random basis and I can’t begin to tell you of my suffering on a 90 degree day in a hay field laced into a skin tight garment. With a full length slip underneath that. And long sleeves.  O.M.G.

What DOES interest me…

I’ve been doing some thinking of late. What do I want for myself in the coming year. How does that differ from a list of new year’s resolutions?

When I think of resolutions, they tend to be one of two things.

1. Something I want to give up
2. Something I’ve said I want to do but never get around to doing it.

Many years ago I sold a beautiful violin so that I could go to writing school. Which I did. I received a certificate in fiction writing from the local university. But I never wrote. Never. Hated keeping journals, not to mention tell stories.

After getting sober (post writing school), I found a group called the SCA. And suddenly I couldn’t stop sewing. I created all manner of Hollywood medieval garments and eventually started drafting my own patterns and creating really good reproduction clothing. One day as I was sitting stitching until my fingers bled I realized that I never typed until my fingers bled. I had felt guilty for years about not writing and it had shown up on many a resolution list. But it occurred to me that if I had really wanted to write, I would have. What I clearly wanted to do was stitch until I could stitch no longer. That usually meant that I’d turned four finger tips into hamburger and run out of fingers to ruin on the left hand so off to bed I would go, Rescue Remedy cream working it’s wonders while I slept so I could stitch again the next day.

I am tired of resolution lists. There is nothing upstream about them. It feels like something I’m forcing myself to do against my will. I need to flow downstream with things that feel truly right. I need to visualize myself in the life I dream for myself and let the details be taken care of by the Universe. By love. As I type this I see this golden light beckoning. Really.

Manifestation for 2008

I see myself happy. I’m getting enough sleep, I’m taking care of my body and my spirit in all the ways I can, ways that call me to them.  I’m in love and the love is returned, we are committed to a goal as a pair.  I have a lovely office with a window that houses me in my new, better paying job.  I see myself in France in the autumn visiting my brother and his family, eating amazing meals that I will never forget.  I am surrounded by love and I emit love.  My spiritual life continues to flourish and more people of like mind surround me than ever before.  I flow with the seasons of the earth, my mother, my home.  I bring health and happiness to the critters in my care.  I give without expectation of receipt.  I live in love.