All geared up to apply for that job.  Found my old resume and cover sheet for tweeking and updating.  Doing some checking, working on portfolio and then…

My boss brought by my yearly evaluation that we reviewed in August.  She needs me to refresh her memory about what I want to do to improve my skills etc this year.  So I started working on that.

And suddenly I was totally torn.  While the other job would be buku bucks it is an unknown regarding support, atmosphere, etc…  I don’t make as much money here because we are a complete non-profit academic research support.  Not much money in that.  A big information school is another matter entirely.  But the people?  For all their quirks, they put up with mine, I have two great bosses, the work is easy, learning curve is over….

Gonna percolate this weekend, will probably still apply if for no other reason than to put myself through the process.  I’ve been at this job 2 years come this February and it’s a good time to consider another advancement.  But it’s also been one hell of a rollercoaster year and part of me just wants to coast for awhile.  This new job would stretch me in many ways, all good, but stressful none the less.

And you know what? I am SOOOO grateful.  Two years ago this time I was getting ready to leave for three weeks in France to visit with my entire family over the holiday season.  And I couldn’t bear to return to my job.  It was abusive, horrifying atmosphere, but mostly a very nasty place to be.  And try as I might i couldn’t seem to find work anywhere.  I finally couldn’t take it and gave my notice, gee, 2 years ago yesterday actually.

Interesting time that.

And when I returned from France I filed for unemployment/voluntary quit based on a hostile work environment. My claim was accepted right out of the gate and two weeks after that I got this job.

I am not desperate to leave this time, which is one of the reasons I think I wasn’t making a good impression in interviews back then.  Also, my self esteem levels were bottom of the barrel and I wasn’t bringing good into my life.  Jumping without a job net was the best thing I have done for myself in recent memory.  Just leapt having faith that it would all work out because I do footwork.

And so.  Very interesting to me.  I am going to apply but if nothing happens that is totally cool.  I love it here.  It would just also be fun to be busier and to have money left over after paying the rent and the car.

I recently purchased 10 yards of linen from a merchant I’ve used many times in the past. This is what the color looked like on my monitor.

This is what it looked like when it arrived, but much BRIGHTER, way obnoxious.  Like goldenrod on a really hot day and the cicadas are scritching in the heat brighter. 

I am undecided about what to do.

• Bleach it and then re-dye
• Put just a tidge of bleach in the water and see if it just dulls it a bit (have no idea if thatis feasible)
• Send it back
• Overdye it with coffee or some weak brown

Any bright ideas?

Our Computing Core Director just sent me a job announcement here at the University. It is for a web administrator / developer. While I am missing some of the desirable bullet points I have all the required and at least some of the desired. And it would be at least $7K a year more for me.

And what do I find as I’m perusing their website and looking under staff? The Cat Lady!  Miss Lao’s Cat Lady.

Is this coincidence? A sign? I have a great job with a great group of people here but I would have much more money and more autonomy in the professional staff classification. And they look like nice people

But THE CAT LADY?

Right now my heart is racing a bit. I have until January 1st to submit a resume and cover letter.

What say you?  Is it a sign?

I can barely stand it. This is SOOO on the top of the list.

In virtually all person-to-person relationships, Cynthia, disappointments can be lessened, setbacks can be regained, and little annoyances can be brushed off, when one stops and realizes that such relationships are always temporary.

While I don’t know that I agree completely, I was glad to be reminded of this. I’ve always known this. And it always gave me comfort. But I do think that it only refers to this lifetime. I think we meet some of those people again in another lifetime.

This has helped me let sponsors and sponsees go as well as romantic interests. It has also helped me let the relationships morph into something else and be content with that.

And I had to let go of my grand plan to have Lao Mao in the living room and Miss MItty in the bedroom with the door closed on Tuesday night. Miss Mitty was upset enough to go hide under the bed, no kitty love that night. She only came out to use Miss Lao’s litter box and eat her food and then back under the bed. *laugh* And Miss Lao started scratching on the door and crying after about 30 minutes. I realized that it wasn’t going to work. So I opened the door and each cat went to her preferred place. Miss Lao had been crying! Visibly had tear tracks on her face. I felt pretty bad.

I guess as long as we have a peaceful truce I should be happy. Eventually Miss Lao will be so lonely staying in the bedroom or its closet all the time that I think it will drive her out into the living room. That is my hope. She was whining like crazy last night and this morning and Miss Mitty just hissed at me and growled. *sigh*

And none of this is to say that these two relationships are temporary. It’s only 5 days and I think things are basically going well.

I’m coming up out of feeling like crap but I’m still just exhaustified. Can hardly wait to get home and put on the sweats and take a nap or go to bed early.