She was not happy to be back at her old home. I gave her as much loving as I could last night and this morning. The truth is, her temperment is more suited to me than Miss MItty’s is. Jackie is more snuggley and loves sleeping in the bed with me. Miss Mitty is more aloof. Probably more traumatized and perhaps one day she will get to that point. But I couldn’t give Miss Mitty away, she’s been through so much more than Jackie.
But this? SUCKS.
Having felt very rejected myself of late, I really hate doing this. I feel so bad for JackieLao, really, she thought she found a home finally. But the Campus Cats lady thinks that Miss Mitty is severely traumatized and that I need to return Jackie Lao. If or when I think Miss Mitty might be able to accept a second cat, she has plenty to choose from. I’m thinking it’s not likely, at least not while I live in such a small apartment without a separated bathroom or utility room for separate litter boxes.
Poor Jackie. sniff. She is a total sweetie as long as she is the only cat. She loves snuggling under the covers, loves headbuts, purrs like crazy, is pretty funny actually, makes me laugh, has quite a personality. She just should be the sole queen bee cat. If you live in my area and are furry people-less and want to help a sweetie find a loving home, let me know. I’m going to miss her.
I’ve had enough Universe! Time to start bringing things IN. Enough with the OUT already.
Migraine and fibromyalgia for two days, crying jags on first day. Yuck. *sigh* Better second day. At work today. Bleah.
Tomorrow I go to Jeshua, evidently he wants to talk to me. Very curious what he has to say but also very hesitant since I really don’t want another talk on how I’m supposed to focus on the happy stuff. Grief is grief and it needs to get out. It is passing, I know how to feel better. So I hope it isn’t more of that.
A tale of two kitties
Things are getting bad with the two kitties, Miss Mitty and Jackie Lao. JL has begun laying in wait for Miss Mitty when she passes through the bedroom on her way to litter box in the bathroom. The bathroom is only accessible through the bedroom, JL’s lair. For awhile she was chasing MM on her way out. Now JL is keeping her from getting where she needs to go.
I’m laying on the couch last night after a nice hot shower, in my cozy robe and thick wool socks under the afghan. Miss Mitty comes and sits on my feet. Awwww, I’m thinking. She looks me in the eye and suddenly my foot feels VERY warm. My first thought is, I didn’t know these socks could get THIS warm THAT fast. My next thought is “Holy Shit, Miss Mitty is peeing on me!” As I frantically try to disentangle myself from the now wet warm layers. Thank god I had a slip cover on the couch, the couch was not harmed. Must wash everything else. I can’t believe it. My cat pissed on me. Right on me. Looking me straight in the eye.
Miss Mitty, looking all innocent with no hint of the horror she would vent on me later this day.
Jackie Lao looking evil, which is only her when she’s stalking Miss Mitty. All other times she is a really sweetie. But this is SO not okay.
I have now put a litter box in the outer rooms. MM used it last night and I’m relieved to a point. I really don’t want kitty pissing wars in the house, landlord will kill me and it will be unbearable. I really don’t want a litter box in the area near the kitchen but it’s the only place I can get it out of the way. Gah!
I realized as I was plugging along on the job that I feel actually pretty darned good today. This is actually the best I’ve felt in weeks and weeks. I was starting to think it wasn’t going to happen. I know that I will still have moments but I’m surprised that I’m having truly positive moments that are lasting a while.
yay!
One of the things that happens when a relationship ends is that you lose things. In my case I lost people and groups but there were other things too.
Like the fact that The Ex had the full 6 seasons of Xena on DVD and the full set of Firefly plus Serenity. Can I just say….
The new Xena is here! The new Xena is here! (visualize happy Jerk Dance)
Okay, it’s season four not all six and it isn’t new, but season four is my absolute favorite season. I’m waiting for season six (which is on its way in the mail) and will one day soon order season five. Firefly and Serenity are also on their way. update: decided to buy season five because I found it for $32 on ebay when amazon is selling used copiesfor $50 plus shipping. The ebay seller was offering it with free shipping. Woot! I now own my three favorite seasons, one of which is completely out of print, season five. Saved a bundle and it looks like this one will only get more expensive…
Looks like my upcoming phone-less weekend will include Xena and Firefly.
I? Am ecstatic.
Something was said this past weekend during the course of tying up a loose end that got me to thinking. He is not ready to be friends. And truth be told neither am I. But it became clear, I think, that what he means when he says “be friends” is something more like hanging out, lunch, gabbing on the phone, that kind of thing. And what I mean when I say “be friends” is that we can be in the same room together, we can hug, we can smile, we can ask how’s it going, an occasional phone call perhaps, maybe an hour in the shade at OLOTEAS. My viewpoint requires much less healing and is good enough for me.
Perhaps one day we could be friends as he defines friends, but I hope by then that I have a new love and that I would invite The Ex to a housewarming or a wedding but it’s unlikely I would be hanging out with him. I just can’t see it.
These two viewpoints are very different. And when he said he wasn’t ready to be friends I thought he meant he couldn’t be civil in the same room as me. Now that I’m looking at it this way, I suddenly feel 25% lighter.
When I was newly sober a friend gave me a vision of what relationships look like. Imagine ripples in a pond. Imagine each ripple represents a relationship level with complete and utter intimacy in the center where the little “ploop” is rising (heh heh) and furthest outside ripple is a just shy of a stranger.
Alcoholics go from stranger to ploop very quickly. We don’t know a lot about relationships on all the other ripples. One might be your once a month movie friend. Another might be the best friend you talk to for hours once a week. That kind of thing. I think that what The Ex and I are imagining when we talk about friends are completely different ripples. His being much further in than mine. I think mine is more realistic and I suspect he might too. Either way, mine is the only one I need to be concerned with and I feel so much better. Because we? Will run into each other, no avoiding it.
One day at a time. Much better than one hour at a time.
Stitch Witch Cottage 