After all … tomorrow is another day.

Yez, Miz Scarlet, it is.

I’ve been spending time in the last few weeks finding out who my real friends are. And really they are exactly who I thought they were. Yay! I’ve been getting wonderful advice and lots of loving support.

I was smart enough last week to know that I needed some help healing and made an appointment for last night with my good friend who is an acupuncturist and a reiki master. Which was great timing because I really needed some help AFTER the event.  She was also my High Priestess in Outer Grove. Although we don’t circle together currently I still consider her to be my High Priestess. She along with the woman who was my High Priestess in Uncle Tom’s Coven. I still consider them so simply because I hold them in high esteem and value their friendships so much. With yesterday’s exception once my HPS, always my HPS.

Last night she lent an ear and let me cry and tell her the entire story, which she didn’t know. I hadn’t been telling anyone (until December) because I was so sick of the drama. I only had the energy to deal with what was right in front of me. She responded with all the right reactions in all the right places. I felt so validated. She even got a tidge catty which helped so much.  We both agree that this weird cough and loss of voice has something to do with all the pain I’m holding in my chest.

As I lay on her table in the semi dark listening to soothing Chinese music, I started to drift as she did her work… The first thing that started happening were flashes of images. As each one came in I saw it, accepted it, and it floated away. These were images of the major points of the last six months with The Ex. And they just floated by with no anger, right on out of my consciousness. An earlier question about whether or not I was still talking and working with Hekate popped into my head and suddenly all the deities from daily devotions started showing themselves. Hekate, Morrigan, Epona, Herne, Jeshua and Mary….. Kuan Yin who held me in her arms on another massage table so many long years ago when I had 4 days sober. And then I saw spring. Spring has been in every reading I’ve done since before Christmas. And there it was again. And I suddenly heard in my mind’s ear and felt it in my heart chakra “You have all your power back, you are healed, you can stand tall.” I can’t explain this but just trust me when I tell you that the voice was surrounded by a rosy peachy pink color and I could see a long colum of turquoise the length of my body with a short, crossing arm piece flowing from my right hand. The same pink as when Kuan Yin held me. A healing soothing shade.  I felt this in my entire body really. But the turquoise column was all about my personal power.

I didn’t get to sleep all that well, toxins coming out and still reverberating over the stuff from earlier in the day, but slept well once I got there.  I feel pretty good today. A very slight emotional hangover but I feel that I’m doing exactly the right things. My higher self still loves The Ex very much but the day to day me really is done with that chapter.  I am very glad that we had such a nice parting in person last Saturday.  It was sweet and loving and I want that to be what I remember (while never forgetting that I don’t want to do this particular thing again)

Last night I painted all my nails, hands and feet, a lovely pink shade that turns to silver.  I selected the color as a bit of protection and healing, the pink for love and affinity, the silver because it is the color of my aural egg and the color of the goddess.  This morning on the bus I noticed that it also changes to gold.  So glad the God decided to stop in too. 

As I was walking to my office from the bus stop this morning I noticed that a pink camellia, which has been in bloom all of December, was STILL in bloom. I asked if I could cut a tiny bloom, it was granted, and so I did. So here it is. My own little spring. Right here and Right now.

Other things are moving well too. I’ve been selling tons of stuff and have made quite a little bundle of money. I have a trip to the post office Saturday morning and will be meeting some folks for hand offs but for the most part, this is done. And if the brown wool kirtle doesn’t sell? That’s totally cool as the brown wool is truly luscious, the gown fits without binding like the linen ones do (wool is stretchy), and it might come in handy some day…

Discovered yesterday that my co-worker here also works part time in the same department where I applied for the new job. Turns out she knows the top dog for the job very well. And she sent him this letter yesterday afternoon Goddess bless her and keep her:

Hi S.,
I wanted to drop you a line because I just found out that a co-worker of mine, Cynthia, has applied for the webmaster position at the iSchool. (I think you are in charge of this department?)

Cynthia and I both work in the Information Core for the Center for Studies in Demography and Ecology (CSDE). She brings a lot of creativity and thoughtfulness to our team and is a pleasure to work with day-to-day. She always responds quickly to the CSDE staff and faculty needs, helps out her co-workers, and overall brings a lot to the table. I will be very sad to see her go, but understand why she is up for a new challenge.

She doesn’t know I am emailing, but I wanted to let you know that after working with the faculty and staff of the iSchool and attending the faculty meetings, I feel she would be a good fit for the iSchool “faculty/staff of one.”

Thanks, B.

And this was his reply:

Thanks B. – I very much appreciate the information! We are just starting to look at the candidates now so it is very timely.

Made my day!   I know I’m in the flow when stuff like this starts to happen.  I feel as though I’ve put my wish out there and have let it go but it sure is nice to get little positive nudges.  I’m happy in this job I have now but it would be very cool to get this other one.  Our current team has broken apart recently due to some aggressive new people and that makes things a bit less than comfortable.  And the pay?  What do you expect from a center that is completely academic and its research is in the social sciences.  Information pays so much better.

Oh! And I forgot to mention that Skanky Nasty Bitch, who wanted to go to Sundays membership ritual never showed up.  Banishing is working just fine.

And this is the clergy I swore to support last Sunday. THIS is the loving support I get from my High Priestess when I’ve lost what I thought was a dear and important love and the death of a dear friend.  Thanks for taking such care of my heart during this extremely painful time and making it so much easier to get through.  THIS is the leader of the coven I asked to join after Samhain.  She doesn’t remember that I loved them so much that THAT is the reason I asked to be on the mailing list myself.  To imply that I was being sneaky and trying to get in even if The Ex didn’t want me there is insulting beyond belief.  I never saw it coming. the emails…

Everything having to do with The Ex continues to turn to shit. 

I was told yesterday that Jeshua (a channeled entity who says and who I believe is Jeshua ben Joseph, Jesus) wants to speak with me directly instead of through The Ex like last month (I did not atttend, he took Skanky Nasty Bitch instead).  I requested a private session with Jeshua (and Judi, his channeler) because I do not want my conversation to be public.  All monthly sessions are taped and sent out around the world as well as transcribed into text emails.  I wanted to have this conversation in a safe place so that I could talk about all that is going on with me and my feelings and my future path. I’ve just been told that Judi no longer gives private sessions.

Guess Jeshua will have to get the message to me some other way…  *sigh*

And me? I am done.  I am no longer interested in a friendship with The Ex.  No need to work hard on that since all the places I might have seen him have, in one way or another, been cut off, I no longer have to worry about it. it’s not like I trust him and what is a friendship without trust. It’s not like he’s mean, he’s not.  He just leaves important information out of conversations so there is a lot of confusion and flurry and ridiculousness.  He’s fine just the way he is and so am I. Best wishes to you Ex.

I’m free.  I am moving on in every way.

And yes, I have still learned some amazing lessons.  But next lesson Universe?  I am willing to hear it in a gentle, soft, loving way. I really don’t need my face pushed in like this. Really. 

I have been informed that I am no longer welcome at the rituals of the coven The Ex and I have been attending.  He had told me that he didn’t want to take this from me but according to the email I just received from the High Priestess this is not the case and I am no longer welcome unless he himself invites me.  But I am of course welcome to continue going to her church and to continue paying my membership pledge.  Not much incentive there seeing as how she didn’t offer me any support for the loss of a friend and a relationship all in 3 weeks.  But my $300 is MORE then welcome.  uh huh.

update: I am welcome any time The Ex decides to invite me. But even if we are friends I still need to be  invited by him specifically. That made me feel really good.  Especially after I just pledged to her church.  I give $300 a year there, that must be why.  I just rescinded my membership and pledge and told her that sending me that email now? when there isn’t a ritual until Ostara? Knowing that there had been a death in the family too? Was cruel.  People can be so full of shit sometimes.

For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar’s angel.
Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar lov’d him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble Caesar saw him stab,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors’ arms,
Quite vanquish’d him: then burst his mighty
heart. . . .

Greetings one and all~

After returning from a 3 year break from the SCA I have found that, for one reason or another, I simply can not seem to reconnect. After 2 years, I’ve decided that it must not be meant to be.  So with a feeling of sadness and yet relief, I am selling what I have and moving on to another pasture.

I have a webpage up on Medieval Tailor.com with the list of items for sale.
http://home.comcast.net/~beweave1/medievaltailor/sale2008.html

You will find very excellent reproduction clothing pieces as well as just some clothing.  Be sure to check the list of books, there is everything from easily found books to books you simply can’t get your hands on, either out of print or exhorbitantly priced, including a hardback Marie Schuette for you medieval embroiders out there.

I am accepting PayPal or cash only.  No exceptions.  I can either deliver to you somewhere in north Seattle or can mail (shipping costs extra).

Please feel free to forward this far and wide in AnTir.

Thanks for the memories,
Merouda  Tremayne