• Emotional Maturity*
• Mental Health*
• Doesn’t need human behavioral nuances (and not so nuances) explained, gets subtlety in human communication
• Quick thinker
• Gratitude
  
• A HWP, tall, man around my age with nice thighs and long hair, not bald.
• Kind, thoughtful, animals love him and he loves them*
• Pagan and magickal*
• In touch with his power center, can get there when notices he’s off kilter
• Knows who he is and what he wants, he loves himself in a healthy way, in comfortable in his own skin, a relationship just enhances who he is, it doesn’t make him who he is
  
• Likes a woman who likes her pink sparkles overlaying her dark sparkles
• He is in touch with hisdark side in a healthy way and also his feminine side
  
• Cares for his self, home, and belongings with respect – physical hygiene, body and clothing*
• Is totally ready for a loving, committed, long term relationship* willing to get married, the proposing kind.
  
• Great communicator even about the stuff that is difficult, the stuff that you know might upset your partner, open, honest, and willing, approachable, doesn’t keep important information to himself
  
• Understands fidelity, and that it isn’t just about sex*
• Courage when looking at himself and he can do this with laughter, a sure sign of self esteem
• Isn’t afraid to cry and allows himself to be vulnerable with his partner, can be comforted
  
• Is capable of deeply loving another*
• Has friends of both genders and wants his friends to become my friends*
• Will stand up for me when I need it or ask for it, if I’m harmed this will affect how he feels about those who harm.  Not because I can’t take care of myself but because I inspire him through love and he trusts that I wouldn’t ask him to go to battle without good reason*
• Comprehensive understanding of boundaries
• Doesn’t run away and hide when important things need to be confronted but faces them, deals with them, COMPLETES them, and then cocoons and chills*
• Knows his way around a kitchen and has a palette that loves variety, adores ethnic cuisine
  
• Has a creative outlet
  
• Has a job, one that reflects his self respect, has job satisfaction
  
• Pays his bills and has a little set aside
• Is a reader, curious about the world
• Likes to travel and meet new people, go camping
  
• Likes to stay home and hang out doing “stuff”
• Is an experienced, thoughful, and creative lover, a secure lover, a passionate lover, and a giving and receptive lover*
• To me, he looks great naked, lovely and well endowed.
  
• Interested in personal growth and self improvement*
• Knows how to give AND receive*
• Treats the women in his life with love, respect, and honor, in fact all people in his life are treated this way
• He understands that our relationship is pretty darned special and the couple relationship is the most important of his relationships*
• When he listens he absorbs, he can still his mind, or processes quickly, flexes with the situation*
• Understands that couples need individual “me” timebut also understands that they need closeness too. Is able to wait if the timing isn’t great.  Is able to express this need BEFORE he falls apart.  Self care and awareness are very important here
  
• Is SOBER (last but not least) or at least only has a beer or a glass wine if out to dinner, no alcohol in the house.  A Normie in the slang of the program. No smoking, no illicit drugs*
• Home life that offers security and is sturdy enough to be the foundation for all else we do in the world
• Alife partnership that gives us sustenance and allows us to share our selves and our love in a deep and soulful way
• Sense of humor, whimsy, wonderful laugh, wit
• Romantic, loving, public displays of affection
• Healthy self care
• Doesn’t get overwhelmed easily, can page himself
• LIkes music, movies, romance, mystery, drama, detective stories
• Not naive or innocent but not cynical or hardened
  

* These items are not negotiable.  I can flex on the others to a degree but everything on this list is pretty darned important

That’s all for now Higher Self. Make it so #1.

As I lay on her table in the semi dark listening to soothing Chinese music, I started to drift as she did her work… The first thing that started happening were flashes of images. As each one came in I saw it, accepted it, and it floated away. These were images of the major points of the last six months with The Ex. And they just floated by with no anger, right on out of my consciousness. An earlier question about whether or not I was still talking and working with Hekate popped into my head and suddenly all the deities from daily devotions started showing themselves. Hekate, Morrigan, Epona, Herne, Jeshua and Mary….. Kuan Yin who held me in her arms on another massage table so many long years ago when I had 4 days sober. And then I saw spring. Spring has been in every reading I’ve done since before Christmas. And there it was again. And I suddenly heard in my mind’s ear and felt it in my heart chakra “You have all your power back, you are healed, you can stand tall.” I can’t explain this but just trust me when I tell you that the voice was surrounded by a rosy peachy pink color and I could see a long colum of turquoise the length of my body with a short, crossing arm piece flowing from my right hand. The same pink as when Kuan Yin held me. A healing soothing shade.  I felt this in my entire body really. But the turquoise column was all about my personal power.

I didn’t get to sleep all that well, toxins coming out and still reverberating over the stuff from earlier in the day, but slept well once I got there.  I feel pretty good today. A very slight emotional hangover but I feel that I’m doing exactly the right things. My higher self still loves The Ex very much but the day to day me really is done with that chapter.  I am very glad that we had such a nice parting in person last Saturday.  It was sweet and loving and I want that to be what I remember (while never forgetting that I don’t want to do this particular thing again)

Last night I painted all my nails, hands and feet, a lovely pink shade that turns to silver.  I selected the color as a bit of protection and healing, the pink for love and affinity, the silver because it is the color of my aural egg and the color of the goddess.  This morning on the bus I noticed that it also changes to gold.  So glad the God decided to stop in too. 

As I was walking to my office from the bus stop this morning I noticed that a pink camellia, which has been in bloom all of December, was STILL in bloom. I asked if I could cut a tiny bloom, it was granted, and so I did. So here it is. My own little spring. Right here and Right now.

Other things are moving well too. I’ve been selling tons of stuff and have made quite a little bundle of money. I have a trip to the post office Saturday morning and will be meeting some folks for hand offs but for the most part, this is done. And if the brown wool kirtle doesn’t sell? That’s totally cool as the brown wool is truly luscious, the gown fits without binding like the linen ones do (wool is stretchy), and it might come in handy some day…

Discovered yesterday that my co-worker here also works part time in the same department where I applied for the new job. Turns out she knows the top dog for the job very well. And she sent him this letter yesterday afternoon Goddess bless her and keep her:

Hi S.,
I wanted to drop you a line because I just found out that a co-worker of mine, Cynthia, has applied for the webmaster position at the iSchool. (I think you are in charge of this department?)

Cynthia and I both work in the Information Core for the Center for Studies in Demography and Ecology (CSDE). She brings a lot of creativity and thoughtfulness to our team and is a pleasure to work with day-to-day. She always responds quickly to the CSDE staff and faculty needs, helps out her co-workers, and overall brings a lot to the table. I will be very sad to see her go, but understand why she is up for a new challenge.

She doesn’t know I am emailing, but I wanted to let you know that after working with the faculty and staff of the iSchool and attending the faculty meetings, I feel she would be a good fit for the iSchool “faculty/staff of one.”

Thanks, B.

And this was his reply:

Thanks B. – I very much appreciate the information! We are just starting to look at the candidates now so it is very timely.

Made my day!   I know I’m in the flow when stuff like this starts to happen.  I feel as though I’ve put my wish out there and have let it go but it sure is nice to get little positive nudges.  I’m happy in this job I have now but it would be very cool to get this other one.  Our current team has broken apart recently due to some aggressive new people and that makes things a bit less than comfortable.  And the pay?  What do you expect from a center that is completely academic and its research is in the social sciences.  Information pays so much better.

Oh! And I forgot to mention that Skanky Nasty Bitch, who wanted to go to Sundays membership ritual never showed up.  Banishing is working just fine.