We ask that you not divulge the climax of the epic story to anyone — at least until you’ve let it sink in for a while and felt all the reverberations it has unleashed. After that, you’ll be wise to speak about it only with skilled listeners and empathetic allies who can help you harvest the meaning of all the clues that were packed inside your adventures. One further counsel: Before you reach the absolute, final denouement of the drama, there may be a tricky turn that looks a lot like the ending.

Sorry gang, that most of my posts have been strictly horoscopic. There’s simply nothing much to report. I wait, I keep waiting.

I find this week’s horoscope somewhat fear inducing and somewhat fear releasing.  I did call the dept. with the job that I really, really want.  The hiring manager was on vacation and so overwhelmed with applications (duh) that she hadn’t made her short list yet.  She returned to work Monday, here’s hoping that something happens soon.  There is still hope that I will be on that short list.

It’s that tricky turn that looks like an ending but appears to not be an ending that has me a bit nervous.  Frankly I’m just wiped out.  I go through my days, sober and calm (calm for the most part), but as soon as I start writing about it, all the emotions bubble to the surface.  I’m so very tired.  Don’t really need no frikking tricky turns, not emotionally. I mean really, how many must I endure to make it to the other side.  And I’m sick of well meaning people saying stuff like “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” or “what’s the lesson?”  as though I’m too stupid to know how this all works.  Fer cryin’ out loud, shut up and take me to lunch and tell me it will all be okay.

It was my goal to have a job and a lover by my birthday.  Seventeen more days to see if I make the deadline.  I’m feeling pretty skeptical.  That’s a lot to accomplish.  Perhaps the birth of the new will be a bit overdue…

“You may want to smash a painful emotion to bits, but you can’t blow it up with a nuclear bomb,” wrote Tsoknyi Rinpoche in his book Fearless Simplicity. What makes the situation even more poignant is that the painful emotion may be based on a wrong interpretation of experience. It may also be caused by some faulty conditioning that got imprinted on your sensitive psyche when you were a toddler. Having said that, Cancerian, I’m pleased to inform you that you currently have the power to significantly dissipate the intensity of a certain painful emotion you thought you’d never shake. To initiate the process, invoke forgiveness in every way you can imagine — toward those who hurt you, those who ignored you, those who misled you, and you yourself.

Probably a good time to let go of more than one. And to forgive all. I can do that. Most of the time I live there. Sometimes, not so much. But I can do this.

The one painful emotion I would really like to let go is DOUBT. Doubt that I will be taken care of, that I will find a job, that I am loved, that there is enough money, time, love, hope, peace, in this world.

I banish doubt

I Banish Doubt

I BANISH DOUBT

SMIB

One of the tastiest frogs in the world is at risk of dying out as a species. The “mountain chicken” frog, once a fixture on the chain of Caribbean islands known as Montserrat, has become endangered through loss of habitat, disease, and over-hunting by humans. In response to the crisis, conservationists have airlifted a number of survivors to new homes, attempting to save their kind from extinction. I think it’s time for you to arrange a comparable intervention of your own, Cancerian. A sweet and delicious part of you or your world is not exactly thriving, and needs some strenuous help and care.

No kidding.  Duh.  Any ideas? I think I need to get laid. With love. Lots and lots of love. That and a job. But otherwise I think I’m doing pretty darned well.