Category Archives: Life in the Verse

Taking my time

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It’s been kind of a crazy few days. I’m just chilling.  It’s a pink day, need the color of affinity.  We are having a spate of April showers to bring the May flowers.  I’ve been to my noon meeting, laughed good and hard and heard what I needed.  Dealt with the garbage as tomorrow is pickup day of the trash and yard/food waste bins.

I’m playing on the computer, looking around for art that soothes me, feeling in the need of healing fae today.

Made my superhero avatar from The Hero Factory.  I had no choice in the name, I would have preferred Hearts on Wings or Samurai Pink Avenging Angel or Avenging Afinity.  But this just doesn’t say swashbuckling pirate to me.

myhero1

Going to make some wire and bead jewelry tonight and watch Cadfael. That’s about all I’m up to after a migraine that wouldn’t go away yesterday. The best I could get it to was a dull roar and that was after TWO oxycodones at the same time. For a total of 3.  Which always makes me very uncomfortable as I always have to make sure I don’t reactivate my addiction/alcoholism but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. I do what I can to stay honest about it and keep a watchful eye, don’t let it become a secret. I only use those after all else has failed. It was brutal.  So I gave myself permission to do not much of anything today. Tomorrow I will busy as I continue to work on a matrix for some work I’m going to offer to the author communities out there.

The man I’ve been communicating with via email, we are still communicating via email. It is nice intense and intriguing and we are working towards balance. I like him. We are in no hurry to communicate in any other form at this time.  And that is more than enough for me at the moment. And him too.  We are very similiar but both don’t want to get involved casually or quickly. We want the whole dream and don’t want to rush.  We both have lots on our plates at this time and aren’t going anywhere as we deal with the issues that are life.

But for today, it’s about spring rain, a bit of loving with Miss Mitty (who got the pee scared out of her when the smoke alarm went of during family easter dinner), warm socks, hot tea, and quiet time.

Response to NOM

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From Mark Morford this morning:

“This, to me, is the best news of all. The bizarre inscrutability of these crappy little ads is the surest sign yet that the barricades of intolerance are collapsing, the tone is shifting. Put it this way: hate groups like NOM have lost nearly all political power they enjoyed during the Reign of Bush. It’s now clear, given the wonderful events in Iowa and Vermont, they’re losing the last of their ideological footing as well. There’s still a long way to go, but the walls are crumbling fast. ”
To read the full article, please click here.

What makes me hummmm?

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These days I’m very much aware of how, after over a year, I’m still in this major transitional time.  I turn 50 on July 4th.  All I keep thinking about is how it marks a major switch for me.  I’ve lived the life of insanity, of recovery, of a witch without a clue, a witch with a clue, a witch with no home. A woman who gave too much to others and didn’t take care of herself and who imploded.  A woman who finally started learning how to take care of herself while still loving and doing loving things for her loved ones.  But no more self sacrifice.  And I’m just so aware of how all the old stuff is really just sloughing off and I find myself in this heightened state of anticipation for whatever it is that is coming next now that there is room for it.

I’ve had heightened states of anticipation before.  Going to SCA events wondering if I was going to meet my White Knight.  Nope.  Going to bars and clubs and gigs and this and that wondering if he was going to be there. Nope.  I’ve been excited many times in my life and been disappointed plenty even when I found someone I thought might be The White Knight.  I’ve even spent many consecutive years being my OWN White Knight (those were darned good years).

This feels different.  Because I’m not going anywhere hoping something will happen at this one place or event.  I’m waiting. I’m going through my days doing what I do.  A noon recovery meeting.  Fixing dinner.  Lunch with friends.  Applying for jobs when they come available.  Working on my new coven homework.  Reading.  Hanging with Miss Mitty.  And all through it, most of the time, is this sense of something coming. It feels like I’m wide open with hope.  Not closed down with the secret fear that the anticipation is misguided or wasted.  I know the anticipation is real and that something really is coming.  I wait.

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