Category Archives: Life Sober

Ba-RACK the Vote – Go to the polls in hoards

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I know I’m probably preaching to the choir but if you find that while you and I think very much alike you are still out of love with American politics, I urge you, beg you, to reconsider. WE THE PEOPLE have sat by too long and done nothing.  It is time to remember that WE ARE the PEOPLE.  And take back our god given right to vote and speak out for what we believe in.  People died so you could vote.  Do not let the fundamentalists be the only ones galvanized this time.  This is a serious rant and frankly I’m mostly writing it for myself.  I just gotta get it outta my system.

I think the one thing I’ve noticed the most about this year’s election that is different from every election I’ve witnessed is that there are people who never vote biting at the bit to do so. For the first time in years people who have felt too disenfranchised to bother to vote know that this time their vote will make every difference in the world. And their children are beginning to see the light too and they are going to vote. Gang bangers on the corners might even see through their drug induced haze that perhaps this one time even THEIR vote will count and they will go to the polls and maybe even take their grannie to the polls with them. The people, the non-white people, have hope for the first time maybe ever and they are going to be out of their homes to vote this year. So you, you disheartened white folks, you do the same! Do not waste this opportunity. Barack Obama is not just another politician. Swear to god, I can see people’s hearts and this man is different. He’s risking his life to change this place we call earth and don’t you for one moment think otherwise or dis it by not doing the right thing and casting your vote. It will change lives for a long time to come if we can just do things different for once. And they know it. Please tell me you do too!

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Best laid plans and all that

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Had a couple mechanic friends and a tow truck friend look at the damage to my car last night.  Luckily we were all in the same place at the same time.  Here’s to sober mechanics and tow truck drivers…

The damage, while not looking bad at first glance, is about $3000 so I have filed a claim with my insurance company and notified the sweet little couple that alas, our original hopes are not to be and that my insurance company will contact them and work out the details.  Since my deductible is $500 I don’t come out any better cash wise but I will have my car good as new and that makes me happy.  It is also the right thing to do which also makes me very happy.

So, estimate on Thursday and then an appointment with the body shop.

I do so love my first ever new car, she is a beauty and drives like a dream.  She’s worth it.

Off to answer phones at 12 step intergroup and do my service for the month.  Time to work on my serenity levels, they could use some work.  And to remember that I am not the person calling in with a severe hangover and confused because once again they drank even though they swore they wouldn’t and they don’t know what to do.  Thank the Goddess that, no matter what, I no longer suffer from incomprehensible demoralization.

For all the Alcoholics Who Still Suffer

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I can tell by the way you’re walking
That you don’t want company
I’ll let you alone and I’ll let you walk on
And in your own good time you’ll be

Back where the sun can find you
Under the wise wishing tree
And with all of them made we’ll lie under the shade
And call it a jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re talking
That the past isn’t letting you go
But there’s only so long you can take it all on
And then the wrong’s gotta be on its own

And when you’re ready to leave it behind you
You’ll look back, and all that you’ll see
Is the wreckage and rust that you left in the dust
On your way to the jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re listening
That you’re still expecting to hear
Your name being called like a summons to all
Who have failed to account for their doubts and their fears

They can’t add up to much without you
And so if it were just up to me
I’d take hold of your hand, saying come hear the band
Play your song at the jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re searching
For something you can’t even name
That you haven’t been able to come to the table
Simply glad that you came

And when you feel like this try to imagine
That we’re all like frail boats on the sea
Just scanning the night for that great guiding light
Announcing the jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re standing
With your eyes filling with tears
That it’s habit alone keeps you turning for home
Even though your home is right here

Where the people who love you are gathered
Under the wise wishing tree
May we all be considered then straight on delivered
Down to the jubilee

‘Cause the people who love you are waiting
And they’ll wait just as long as need be
When we look back and say those were halcyon days
We’re talking ’bout jubilee

P.S. I was in a hurry and forgot to put in the author…

Mary Chapin Carpenter – Stones in the Road album, Jubiliee

You know you want to know ~ My Adventures in France ~ part 1

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part one | part two | part three

I know you’re wondering what the heck with the no pants running around the courtyard screaming thing.

Well, it really has to do with me and France. I wanted to go to France for years and years. While I was drinking, living in Paris, writing like Henry Miller and Anais Nin, and being the toast of the bohemian Moulin Rouge ball was a huge dream. HUGE. But of course while I was sitting on the bar stool spending my bus money it just wasn’t an option. And then I got sober. And in 2004 my parents took me to France to visit my brother. And in 2005 I went again. How awesome is that? And it was all I ever hoped for and more. The more is the part that should have concerned me. There is no glamour for me in France. No dignity. Nothing but opportunities to shed all my walls and just be me.

There are lots of things that I could tell you about those trips. I can tell you that for 6 weeks before going (I was to spend a week in Paris alone in addition to the time spent with family) I was planning on drinking and smoking. And coming back and never telling anyone that I had relapsed and had 2 days. Thankfully that didn’t happen cuz I told on myself in meetings for 2 weeks before I flew out. I can tell you that the food is all it was cracked up to be in Burgundy. Paris was a crap shoot. I can tell you that standing in the snow, alone, at Christmas time, in the courtyard of the Duke of Burgundy’s mansion in Beaune made me cry tears of gratitude to Her. Standing alone in front of Rogier van der Weyden’s Last Judgement in the Musee Hotel-Dieu in Beaune also made me cry at the amazing vision and fine motor skill of the man. And the eyes on the wings of Michael the Archangel. Oh lordy. That archangel, almost as big as me, is a stunning sight, drop to your knees if the guard wasn’t watching you beautiful and scary and full of power.

But nothing made me cry like the ride up the tram in Chamonix…

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Dreams Change

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The last 24 hours have been really life affirming and life changing. I’m thinking about K. and R. and M. and N. and Cliodhna and Fox, Grace and Green Witch with smiles and gratitude.

I have this rule. I only get to complain for so long before I take opposite action. So, I have a story to tell you. It’s been awhile since I told a life story and one is due. It’s a long one. You might want to warm up your tea and get comfortable.

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