Sunday Progress

We are almost done with the last yard sale. This is our third. We have a mostly empty garage and hopefully some of that furniture will be gone soon. I’ve been working on my projects as I help customers. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, my apartment is a mess but that’s okay, not for long. I’ve started doing the work to make the kitchen queen useable. The top hasn’t been so bad but the area with the drawers is full of mold, 3-d mold. Facemasks, gloves, sun, and chemicals…  Fun but I think it will work out.

Mr. Furnace and I are doing well.  He says he’s finished decompressing and is now reinflating. I miss him in person, we haven’t seen each other since I picked up from the airport, but it’s funny, I’m okay. I feel connected and the energy is very good.

I picked up this darling little chest of drawers from my neighbor who was also selling things. I will pay them the money when I get a job, it’s all good, they know where to find me. Since I had sorted my Halloween stuff for the yard sale, I have started doing a little decorating early.

I’ve been working on The Rigid Container when I can. Started coloring in the sides that have been burned already and working on the lid design. All but one panel are finished and I really like it. It goes well with the themes on the side don’t you or think?  Still figuring out the plants/environs for the snake and perhaps a little more on the stag panel. It will tell me during the transfer to wood period.

Day One Over, Day Two To Go

The last yard sale of the year is in progress. We sold $50 worth of 25 cent stuff.  Gave some of it away. The furniture remains. But nothing but the furniture and the vintage White sewing machine will remain after this time tomorrow because the rest will go to the thrift store or the free pile on the corner.

My feet hurt and I think I’m clenching my jaw but it’s almost over. The 6 month battle of the garage. Today my mother finally, FINALLY, after all these years and the last intense months, sat for two hours and sorted one of her boxes of papers. She was disgusted after two hours. Welcome to my world ma.

One thing I do love is the people.

  • The 7 year old twee twins who went home with my faery hair pieces, their father utterly disgusted that I gave them away, he would not have spent the 75 cents… The girls were extremely excited.
  • The new neighbors from Thailand.
  • The student who bought the German/Finnish dictionary
  • My buddy Scott who bought the postcards from the British West Indies where my grandmother was born that are 100 years old and yet brand new. And the postcards that are also brand new from World War I military exercises.
  • The dogs, oh yes, the dog love rocked.
  • The weather. Perfect Septmber weather, 65 and sunny.  YES!
  • Three pings from D, THREE. Every time I went online to check something out, there he was.  Great time chatting.  He’s taking me to see Vampire Weekend on the 23rd. Oh Boy oh boy.  With the mutual friend I found who helped me find the friend who died. That will be a blast.

Abundance happens. Just not in the way I pray it will. My prayers can be so small sometimes.

And the mutual friend mentioned above? Does some awesome goddessy music stuff. Here you go, my favorite piece. Perfect for this time of year.

The Astonishing Thing IS…

You’ve been reading my posts about how my head works. They include some of the things I think about my own lovability. I’m certain I’m not alone, that some of you have at least a moment or a thought like that once a year. Hopefully not daily like I do but there must be some sort of recognition or identification.

What my head says and what my reality is can be so diametrically opposed it really IS astonishing.

Here is my reality (the one that is in addition to relationship challenges and being fired):

  • Three readers have sent me stuff, unasked for, out of the goodness of their hearts. Because they want to help, to support, to show their love and appreciation to a total stranger who has some how managed to touch their lives across the globe. Another has offered. For nothing in return but the sharing of the goodness and love.
  • A woman today asked me I was going to be at my usual Friday night meeting because she has a newcomer guy who needs to see that women with recovery are cool. And she wanted me to be there. I wasn’t going because I did a nooner today, had a meeting after the meeting, AND tomorrow is our yard sale, but jeez, now I GOTTA.
  • Another woman, TODAY, and I went out to coffee. I’ve thought she was cool and all kinds of wonderfulness for the last year and she has been having a tough time too. Many of the women in the program have dropped her like a hot potato because of a decision she made that actually IS rather radical according to AA’s guidelines. When she needed them most, they abandoned her. Boy could I relate to that. We met for coffee and she asked me to be her sponsor because her sponsor fired her over it. I was all YAY! but on the condition that we are friends, helpers, teachers and students for each other, that friendship be the overriding dynamic. YAY! The deal here is if folks are afraid that her decision is going to cause her to drink again, shouldn’t they be there to pick her up if she falls??? That’s what I thought. I’m going to be there for her if and when she needs me and have fun with her in the meantime. We are finding our way in the challenges that many years of spiritual growth in the program are putting in our paths.
  • I got asked to speak and lead a meeting a week ago and the guy didn’t know me so he asked if I had three months or more, a requirement to speak.  Another guy said, “Oh her? She? Can TALK. Good choice.”  Since I think what HE says is pretty cool, that was an honor and a half. Today he said I should be wearing his jewelry, evidently he’s a silversmith among other things and all his cool stuff that he wears is his. Another artist. Always looking for opps to trade too. Skulls and big chunky silver stuff. Whee!!
  • A friend hired me to develop her website. Small but fun and still a challenge. She’s more excited than I am.
  • My cousin’s ex girlfriend contacted me today telling me how wonderful she thinks I am and how sorry she was to hear about my job.  And to suggest we get together to have coffee and a drive through the autumn foliage in one of our northern valleys.

I get feedback all the time that I am loved. ALL. THE. TIME. WTF?? Most of the feedback I’ve been getting has been in the last year and a half and not from the people who were in my life in a conscious way.  Lots of it comes from you! I am far more grateful than you may ever know. The tide is shifting and the love is coming from unexpected places.

What I need is to be mindful. To start writing these things down. I started a little book with all the good stuff that I get from D to remind me when I go crazy that what I think isn’t necessarily real. I will start in the back with the stuff that everyone else says and does.

And thanks go out to Mr. Furnace. Who deserves his own paragraph, not a bullet point. Who read my previous post and said, “Wow. That’s quite a statement. Let it all hang out baby.”  See what I mean? I’m crazy…  😉