Author Archives: Cynthia

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About Cynthia

I am a textile artist, embroiderer, wood burner, costumer, painter, and weaver who sees magic and change in the chain stitch and a well done Palestrina knot. I wish I had more control over the ways of the human world but alas, all I can control are my actions and my attitude in life and the consistency of my stitches. And sometimes even that doesn’t pan out as hoped and I must rip rip rip.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him think…

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A friend of mine had a co-worker he called Burrhead and the most amazing things came out of Burrhead’s realm of existence and thought. Not intentional, sometimes they show great wit anyway.

“Rome wasn’t burnt in a day” is another favorite. But the title saying is the one I want to look at today and how it reflects events in my life at any given moment.

In the spring of 1995 I went to treatment for alcoholism and drug addiction. The 6 weeks prior to that I had hurt my back climbing in a pipe chase inspecting for asbestos. And I got some great drugs from the doctor. As I was explaining to a family member the other day, my body doesn’t give a good god damn who my pusher is.

After treatment I was very reluctant to follow all of the suggestions I was given. Two meetings a week!?!? Are you frikking kidding me??? I don’t have time for that. Today that is true a lot of the time. But then? I had no life. I had no interests. I had no friends. I had no where else to go. But I fought the solution for me tooth and nail. I refused to connect with the similarities and concentrated on the differences. I kept claiming that I was a Priestess, I followed the way of the Goddess and there was no way I could connect with the God that I saw in the readings of the group I belonged to. *HAR!* Who on earth was I kidding? My life didn’t resemble anyone following anything but a path of destruction. Certainly not creation.

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Powerless

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A dear family member has relapsed. They have a long history of relapse after over 7 years of sobriety. They just can’t seem to get sober again. Yet. *sigh* We are not in the same city and any help from me must come from phone or email. Not a daily drinker but the binges are upsetting and becoming more frequent of late. The immediate family members are stressed to the max and extremely exhausted.

The one good thing is that they sound open minded to a solution today that they have never been open to before. I am no longer the crazy bitch but the woman who made it and who is sane and kind. I have proposed that they talk to their spouse and get themselves into treatment immediately. They have been to treatment before but I never felt they were ready then. This time might be the one that works. If I can just get them to agree to go and stop giving 8gazilliion excuses.

I sit here, powerless, waiting to know which choice it will be….

Recovery First

Book Covers

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This is the week I gave myself to recover from working so hard to get the Etsy store up. Sunday, sick as a dog thanks to some allergen, Monday, didn’t get much done watched TV and that is rare to just sit and watch tv.

Yesterday I absolutely needed to get working on something. A great stress reducer, stitching. We’ve got a bit of a crisis in the family at the moment and while I’m pretty pleased at how I’m handling it, it is indeed stressful. A bit of a cry half way through the evening. I had so hoped to be done with this. (more later, I just can’t talk about it right now, too much is up in the air and I hate crying in public)

I wanted to make a cover for my book-esque calendar. Every year I buy Llewellyn’s Witches date book. I adore the artwork of Jennifer Hewitson and it is the one place I get my hands on it. She does other work besides stuff for Llewellyn but it doesn’t appear to be of a witchy nature so I always buy the date book. This year I also bought the wall calendar so that I could have 12 big full color prints of her work.

Any way, the cover is heavy card stock but it gets trashed in my purse over the course of a year. I wanted to protect it a bit. And I wanted a project. AND I am still in love with the project that I did for The Ex for Yule last year.

The cover for the calendar is from wool blend felt in a dark midnight blue. The tree (a sort of Tim Burton type tree but mostly it reminds me of some trees I saw in France) is a dark plum color against an ivory moon. There will be a little strip of felt on the inside that will hold in place my Pocket Astrologer calendar (has more dates and info than LLewellyn’s), and a strap with a button to keep it closed. You can just barely see the stip that will hold the pocket astrologer in place but the felt is so dark it’s hard to see the borders.