Category Archives: Life as a Witch

Hekate’s Night

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I am a dedicated priestess of Hekate. Crows, snakes, dogs, and bulls. Black and torches. Quiet and eerie noise. I find comfort in these things, in the dark. Her torch shines on the golden treasures in the dark.

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Tonight is the new moon closest to Samhain. Tonight is the night that we can truly celebrate and commune with Hekate. Leon puts this on every year. We wear black clothes, eat black and white food, fizz black beer into the flaming cauldron, we swing noisemakers and windsingers, the works. It is not only the night to work with Hekate but to let Her know about the suicides that need to be unstuck from their place so that they move on or return for a new life, a new chance.

Tonight I will be asking Her to release my ex-husband, Joel Penson. Leon and I agreed last night that I have been thinking of him so much in the past 2-3 years, very aware that he was dead, because Joel’s spirit discovered that I do Her work. That running into my ex-brother-in-law was no fluke but the way for Joel to let me know the work I must do tonight.

I hope that both of us will find peace.

May She bless him and illuminate his way. May Joel find what he needs and the strength to move forward into something new and wonderful.

So mote it be.

Driving To The River or Let It Be Part II

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Last night was the coven’s full moon ritual. I was a bit nervous all day. I had a robe to sew up for a mate and had a potential sponsee to meet so I kept busy yesterday. The potential sponsee stood me up, it happens, but I got to a meeting and that’s all that matters.

I’m always nervous when someone’s paid me their hard earned cash to make them a garment. I want them to be really happy and I want it to fit. She loved it. Loved it. Danced around in it. It did look pretty durned nice I must say.  She was incredibly lovely in that robe.  That is almost, ALMOST, better payment than money.  It’s forest green linen with little green leaves embroidered around the neck, hood, and sleeves.  When she put it on it became twice as beautiful.

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Grieving vs. Resentment

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My sponsor says I’m living a resentment around my “stalker.”  I say I’m grieving.

I wrote the letter that prompted the “I’ll sue you response” back in June.  It was cathartic.  I felt free, really free.  And promptly moved on.  I began getting emails in earnest over this past weekend.  I responded twice.  “Please stop writing me, I meant every word.”  “Of course I would never get in the way of you seeing the parents…[snip]”   But then on Tuesday another family member got involved and wrote my parents about me and then cc’d me.  I wrote a very long response to that letter, ccing no one.

I forwarded it to my sponsor.  She’s all, do you want to be right or happy. What I WANT is to be left alone.  What I WANT is to be HEARD. What I wish is that I had never sent it to her.  I was trying to live honestly.  I thought I would get support. I got slapped with love.

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Love Is

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Last night at the coven meet I got yelled at by the High Priestess. They all wanted to know why I was so silent. I said I didn’t want to talk about it at that time but after some pressure I began telling the story of yesterday afternoon. The drive, the ugly, self hating thoughts, and then the song. But I didn’t get the first knee jerk reaction part of the story out of my mouth, the end it all reaction, when she burst into anger. At the end of it I said, “I wasn’t done with my story.”

After circle I took her aside and told her the rest of the story. And then we started talking about our beliefs surrounding suicide and the afterlife and karma and judgment. It appears I have a very, VERY different point of view on these matters than my covenmates. My “daddy” got into it too.

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Hoops

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I feel like I lost my wallet what with all the inconvenient hoops one has to jump through with changing email and blog. OMG. All the images point back to my old blog and that can’t be helped. I hope it doesn’t make it easy to find me. Otherwise I’ll have to remove the photos and go from there and some of the photos are truly great…

Having to log out and log in and log out and log in back and forth. I’m dizzy.

Off to Mabon Feast.