Getting Nekkid

Oh, I had the bestest time I did.

We had a really wonderful drive north to the property.  Chatted all the way.  About all kinds of interesting things.  About 5 miles before our destination we veered off and drove to the top of the ridge to see the view of the Puget Sound and the San Juan Islands.  We saw a soaring eagle (the second one for me in two days) and heard the ravens, and on the side of the road, just a few feet from the car, we saw a deer.  It started to walk away but I called out to it (animal guide) and he stopped and looked and wiggled his soft nose and shook his young antlers at us.  Aaaaaah.

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Eagles and Crows

Yesterday as I came out my front door, leaving for my regular Friday recovery meeting, I heard crows creating quite a ruckus. I looked up and right above my head, only about 30 feet above me, were about 10 crows chasing a bald eagle. Recently I came into contact with eagle consciousness, far vision, intuition, etc. At first I was dismayed to see so many crows going after the eagle and then I looked closer. The eagle wasn’t flapping her wings in fright, doing her best to get away, fast and far. She was languidly moving through the air, towards the east, taking her time, clearly saying, hey, I’m going but only because I actually want to and you amuse me.

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And I realized this is such a great metaphor for what I’ve been going through. Harried and pressured, I have just continued on my way, I was going that way anyway, and while it looks pretty bad to the casual glance, things are quite well. Even though I am down to my last $75. Again.  Continue reading

Can you say Nut Job?

Nucking Futz?

After extremely little mental discussion I wrote off the new penpal.  Yikes.  He just not in a happy, healthy place.  Very nice, very interesting.  What did Capt. Malcom Reynolds say in Firefly?  “Whimsical in the brainpan.”  Yeah, that about covers it.  Except you have to add “wound too tight.” Five planets, including the sun, in Gemini.  That’s a lot of spinning…

Things are very interesting right now

My High Priestess asked me casually if I had ever been to plentyoffish.com.  Never heard of it says I.  I’ve been signed up with a couple online dating sites and it’s always been so depressing given what is out there that after spending all that time putting together a profile, I typically flee after a week or so. The few responses I have received have all been along the lines of “I love walking on the beach and getting into your pants.”  How charming. NOT.

So I kind of went into this kicking and screaming. The cool thing about Plenty of Fish is that it’s totally free. You can contact anyone.  You can save interesting people in folders too which is very nice.  So. what the heck.

After putting up my profile and spending a couple hours the other night putting about 15 fellas in my folder, I pulled a card from the DruidCraft Tarot. I got The World. My question had been, “What is going to be the result of this experience with PoF?”

The reason I put so many guys in my folder was that I didn’t want to have to try and find them again and I wanted time to think before contacting anyone if I did indeed choose to do so.  The next day I get an email from this fellow, one of the ones I thought about deleting from the folder.  He was very curious why I had put him in my folder.  He said that he knew his profile was more of a rant about the shallowness that he was finding on PoF and couldn’t understand why I would want to read his profile not to mention why I would put him in my folder.  See PoF sends an email to you if someone puts you in their folder, isn’t that nice? You can also go and look to see who has viewed your profile and who has put you in their folder. I’ve been viewed a lot but not contacted and not put in a folder. Except by this one guy.

I told him why I found him interesting.  He seemed to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder so I was hesitant.  And I told him that too. We can’t seem to stop writing each other.  It’s way to early to say anything except that. We can’t stop writing, we can’t believe how alike we are, how similar our paths have been, it’s really mind blowing.  We are having this most amazing and deep conversation about everything.  You know how I am. How straightforward I can be.  And he is too.  And it’s really very, hmmmm, enticing and exciting.  He admitted he had the chip, explained why, I agreed with him actually, and it’s been off to the races.

I’m going to just see how things progress, see what happens before I go and give you all the reasons and details.  We have not spoken on the phone yet.  But I want to. I want to meet him.  Oh yes I do.

Last night in one of his last emails before sleep he said this to me:

” I was just thinking how curious it is that I’d meet you of all people. Regardless of “dating” and all that, the timing is good to have met someone with some of your attitudes and beliefs. It’s like heading out to go somewhere else and finding yourself heading home where you belong.”

Now don’t you all go telling me to be careful. I KNOW!  I know what warning bells look like and sound like. I’m listening with open ears. But I’m also, as I’m wont to do, participating with an open heart because there is serious potential here.  And it feels like home to me too. And you know what? So far, no fear. With M? There was fear and insecurity. With The Forgiven, there was exhaustion and insecurity.  Not one whiff at the moment.

There are no recent ex girlfriends.  No evidence of mental illness. He is a single father of a 16 year old son.  He has 2 cats and 2 dogs and 40 acres.  He is a techie and works from home.  And he lives a ferry ride and 30 minute drive away. He’s fit and cute.  He smokes cigarettes.  I had no smoking on The Man List. But man if he comes as close as I think he is to the rest of the list, he can smoke outside all he wants.

So, more will be revealed.  I’m spending so much time writing him I’m not writing here. Too bad sooooo sad. Send good wishes.

Another potential job that I was hoping for was marked Recruitment Cancelled on the job website yesterday. That is the third time this has happened to me.  I just have no idea how this job thing is going to work out for me but it does look like that at least for April and May I will get some of those small freelance jobs I advertised for a couple months ago.  So while I wait, I go to meetings almost daily, I go to Outer Grove and teach and learn, I go to the Sabbats and Esbats  (which I just LOVE)  and I’m “talking” to one the most interesting, intriguing, and open people I’ve met in awhile.

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.