From Little Miss Sunshine:

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He’s the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he’s also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh… he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.

Well, I guess that is all I really need to remember. The tough stuff? Is what has made me an amazing person living an unbelievable and interesting life. Gawd.

I am indeed a fortunate woman. Just when I think I can’t take one more thing someone(s) comes along and does something kind that helps.

No doubt I’ve had cabin fever. Almost two weeks without a meeting due to what seemed to be neverending snow. Ack! Not getting out much, too much alone time, cat’s that have begun writing their lawyers again, Miss Mitty especially has flipped between hating me deeply and loving me muchly.

My brother called and we had a nice talk. He was leaving in the morning for Budapest and wanted to check in with me. Give me a pep talk. I love my brother, it meant a lot to me.

I filled in for a cat sitter for a friend down the road, walking distance, the sitter couldn’t get through the snow. And the friend insisted I take the money that was left for the sitter. $50 cash. That was a nice boon. Little bits, little bits.

A ride from my sponsor’s husband to their house for a full day of family Christmas insanity. OMG. Some folks still do tons of presents for the holiday. Four generations and total pandemonium. It was just what I needed. I so needed to be around people; happy, sober people. Lots of life, lots of light, and the dinner, prime rib with all the trimmings, was so good I could barely move. After grace led by 7 year old Signe they all started singing Hark the Herald Angels Sing and they all forgot the words two lines in. So I sang the whole song for them. And then laughed and said it was funny that it was the Pagan who knew all the words. Fortunately they thought that was funny. HAR! I *love* Christmas music but until then hadn’t felt like singing it. Go me.

I’m back home to my tidy and quiet house, cats are fed which makes them happy, Miss Mitty especially, it’s the one thing that stops her from writing letters, the new gooshy food she’s been getting to gain weight. Whatever it takes. Watching Little Miss Sunshine because it makes me laugh and reminds me of my family, who I adore and who is funny and weird and who adore me too.

The snow is melting and I’ll easily make my meeting tomorrow night. I feel better if not richer but one day at a time right? All my needs are met. I’m warm, dry, content, and glad to be alive even with all.

Today was payday. Not a large one but one due from my small hour job at the University. For some reason I didn’t get paid. I can only assume that the person who was supposed to process my time sheet didn’t bother to do so before the snow hit and then the university closed for three days due to inclement weather. Unheard of. So no money for me the day before the holidays. Won’t get it until January 10th. OMG.

I. Just. Can’t. Take. This. Much. Longer.

Snowed in for 6 days, got out for some groceries yesterday so that is good but from now until the first week of the year there won’t be many job opps and chances are slim that I’ll get any calls for interviews. Housemate out of town until next week. Dad’s Birthday dinner for tonight was re-scheduled for Sunday due to even more snow today. Cabin fever and no money to spend if I could get out.

I’m starting to get seriously depressed and scared. I shouldn’t be sitting here, alone, on Christmas Eve crying. But so I am. I really need a fucking break.

I live in the Pacific Northwest.  Seattle to be exact.  Seattle is a city of hills.  All hills.  There are extremely few level straight of ways.  Maybe a block before it starts to slope, even if only gradually.  But many streets, those going east/west are seriously steep.  I tell you this to explain that when it snows and then freezes here, it is hell.  A couple inches can paralyze things easily.  The freeways tend to clear up due to the brave but this week is different.

We have 9.5 inches of snow here in north Seattle.  Extremely rare.  4 inches down is 1/2 inch of ice from the freezing rain Sunday night, then more snow.  All of it dry snow.  We usually get wet slop that melts quickly and rarely lasts over a night into the next day.

You know it’s “bad” when they close the local University.  All other schools are closed but they never close the University.  But they did today. Which means that those who couldn’t get in will actually get paid anyway.  Which is why they never close it unless there really is no choice.  The bus system, Metro, has shut down half of their routes.  The airport is open but many flights have been cancelled, they are urging folks to make sure their flight is flying before leaving home.  There are thousands sleeping there.

Some people’s roofs are collapsing, it’s been cold, very cold. Thousands are without electricity.

Today, no snow but it isn’t going to warm up much either but it might for a couple hours.  Just enough for it to be liquid before it dips down again and freezes and starts snowing.  So no thaw of much use before it starts snowing again tomorrow.  Then Wednesday it might warm up and start melting but there will be a foot of snow and ice to melt so we’ll see.  And then Christmas day more snow.  Friday again warming and changing to rain and then rain all weekend.  My Dad’s birthday is Christmas Eve and we don’t know if we’re going to be able to get together or not.

The retail situation has to be just awful. It’s been really sad already but with most folks not getting out of the house, lots of what little Christmas shopping was happening just isn’t, well, happening.  Times are tough.

Rain and warmer temps sounds really great but there is one more problem.  We are then looking at serious flooding in the low areas and in the agricultural areas to the north and south of Seattle.  Which I know from past experience but which they are not talking about yet.

Sophie has cabin fever in a big way. She is a cat who loves it outdoors and when the weather isn’t too cold or too white, she is outside 80% of the hours that the cat door is open.  She’s been thundering around upstairs, coming down to check in, getting Miss Mitty all worked up (she doesn’t really need much help).   In fact, the other night Miss Mitty was so nasty she clawed me and didn’t speak to me for 24 hours.  All is better now but only after I promised that I wouldn’t tell her to be nice to Sophie again.  That she can work it out, or not, in her own way.  *sigh*  My housemate is disappointed that her cat doesn’t obey her and she “doesn’t kow tow to animals.”  I told her she might do better with a dog.  Heh. As if.

So that’s the news, some bad, some not so bad.  Now for the happier…

I got out for a walk the other day, before we got really snowed in.  It was lovely with the sun out.  Icey and beautiful.  So pictures with the sun and pictures with lots of snow.  Solstice, which was re-scheduled, will happen on Friday and Saturday.

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