Author Archives: Cynthia

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About Cynthia

I am a textile artist, embroiderer, wood burner, costumer, painter, and weaver who sees magic and change in the chain stitch and a well done Palestrina knot. I wish I had more control over the ways of the human world but alas, all I can control are my actions and my attitude in life and the consistency of my stitches. And sometimes even that doesn’t pan out as hoped and I must rip rip rip.

Witchy things about me

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I saw this on Crafty Jewitch and thought it was a great idea. I’m too sensitive to talk about anything else right now.

A few witchy facts about me:

My Names: A Mystical ~

Mostly I use Cynthia. But I have used Rosemary Moss long ago and far away. And I have one that is circle bound.

Colorful Animal Totems / Spirit Guides / Mythic Totems

First and foremost, Stag. Then Crow, Spider, Snake (even though I have a true phobia, this one is still a guide), Rabbit, Mouse, Grasshopper…

Primary Dieties / Archetypes

In the order they came into my life…

Female: Hekate, Epona, Nemetona, Morrigan, Brighid, Vesta, Lady of the Wood, Mary M, Kuan Yin, Aphrodite.

Male: Herne, Cernunnos, Lord of the Hunt, Jeshua, Lugh

Broom closet

I am out of the broom closet with some folks. I don’t advertise, I wear a stealth pentagram (it has a triple moon covering it), it is something I share with folks who have earned my trust. But then there’s my blog. But only folks who know me or who are pagans/witches find my blog. The rest are still strangers.

I knew i was a witch when, at 9 or 10, I read Sybil Leek’s Diary of a Witch. It was almost 20 more years before I found other people like me.

Favorite Pagan holy day ~

Samhain hands down…

Divination ~

I collect Tarot and Oracle decks. I love the artwork and use it to inspire me all the time. But I only actually use one or two favorites for divination on a regular basis, the others as they call to me. DruidCraft Tarot and the Tao Oracle.

Gems ~

I have worn blue moonstones for as long as I can remember. That and amber.

Astrology ~

I am a Cancer with a Libra rising and a Gemini moon, four of my planets are in Leo including mercury, and Saturn is in Capricorn. (Now I get it I hear you say…)

Favorite botanicals ~

lavender, rosemary, blackberry, lilac,

Favorite oils –

bergamot, vanilla, lavender, patchouli, rose

Favorite curios ~

spiral seashell, holey stone, antler handled curved bladed knife, fragrance burner

Sacred places I would like to see ~

Stonehenge, Glastonbury, boy that’s hard. Most places are spiritual to me so I’ll take any I can get…

The countdown commences…

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13.5 days to go…

I had a pretty good 4th. I always spend time on the 4th with sober friends. Every year they go to the rez and get terribly illegal fireworks and this year was stupendous. As Pam says, we blow shit up. And so we do. Lots of good food, good conversation, a good time was had by all.

I had Saturday and Sunday all to myself. I bought a couple books with some of my birthday money from my folks, that was nice. Books I’ve been looking at for some time.

A Guide to Green Housekeeping
Ribbon Embroidery and Stumpwork
One Skein

I played with felt and faux suede, read, napped, gardened (albeit a shabby job, much work left to be done here), all in all a peaceful time. I did some cooking, some cleaning, some drooling over cookbooks.

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Wickman

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NOT Wickerman. WICKMAN.  *smile*

I want to recommend a product that I’ve been using for years and firmly believe that anyone who uses lots of candles, needs one.  I’ve been meaning to recommend for some time now…

There are several tools but I find the candle tool the best.

Wickman Candle Tool

Healing from relationships

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It has been a hard time healing from this past love relationship. We have differing stories. He says I didn’t validate who he really is (this is very contrary to things he said while in the relationship, like “no one validates me like you do”) and I say that if he had spoken up and said who he was and what he wanted to do instead of being a yes man and then doing the no thing I wouldn’t have felt that he was liar (to me AND himself) and and and. Betrayer. He’s mad that I wrote about him in my blog even though I don’t mention his name or any details about who he is. He is afraid his friends will believe me and not him. As opposed to taking him as himself. Me? I think that is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. If they believe me before getting to know him and decide not to be his friends based on what I write here? Then they are not friends and what’s the loss? He lives in fear a lot. But he has no problem discussing, in public and in front of our friends on tape, his continuing feelings for the woman that he slept with while we were still lovers. He hasn’t figured out that he is the one that ended looking stupid in that particular farce. He is such a hypocrite. I was just livid with anger and hurt feelings last week. Again. It took some really good conversations with some very amazing women, both in person and on line, before I started to get some balance back. And I found some compassion.

The man has a severe anxiety disorder and I forgot about that. A good friend who knows this and who had been in a relationship with a man suffering from this was an incredible source of peace for me on my birthday. Independence Day. I had forgotten that was such a huge issue. She passed on a mantra she got from a Buddhist priest she discussed the matter with. “He is a man of many miseries” I am chanting that every time my anger resurfaces and slowly I’m finding my compassion. And forgiveness for myself.

Because of course part of the anger and betrayed feelings stem from feeling like a loser for staying as long as I did, buying into it as long as I did, trying to help as long as I did. Because of course now I’m just a bitch in his eyes and I suppose I deserve that because in the end I got pretty hot and said things I could have kept to myself, true as I still feel they are. Such is life. I could have said much that I did keep to myself. I spared him much more than he realizes. So much I never shared simply because I did love him just as he was. Such is life.

Lots of candles burned this weekend, including one amazing one from Carolina Candle Co. called Rejuvenation. I’ll be using those again. Tried to find a link but couldn’t. They use a soy wax with essential oils, very nice. A little candle magic too… And as I heal I stitch.

For all the Alcoholics Who Still Suffer

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I can tell by the way you’re walking
That you don’t want company
I’ll let you alone and I’ll let you walk on
And in your own good time you’ll be

Back where the sun can find you
Under the wise wishing tree
And with all of them made we’ll lie under the shade
And call it a jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re talking
That the past isn’t letting you go
But there’s only so long you can take it all on
And then the wrong’s gotta be on its own

And when you’re ready to leave it behind you
You’ll look back, and all that you’ll see
Is the wreckage and rust that you left in the dust
On your way to the jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re listening
That you’re still expecting to hear
Your name being called like a summons to all
Who have failed to account for their doubts and their fears

They can’t add up to much without you
And so if it were just up to me
I’d take hold of your hand, saying come hear the band
Play your song at the jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re searching
For something you can’t even name
That you haven’t been able to come to the table
Simply glad that you came

And when you feel like this try to imagine
That we’re all like frail boats on the sea
Just scanning the night for that great guiding light
Announcing the jubilee

And I can tell by the way you’re standing
With your eyes filling with tears
That it’s habit alone keeps you turning for home
Even though your home is right here

Where the people who love you are gathered
Under the wise wishing tree
May we all be considered then straight on delivered
Down to the jubilee

‘Cause the people who love you are waiting
And they’ll wait just as long as need be
When we look back and say those were halcyon days
We’re talking ’bout jubilee

P.S. I was in a hurry and forgot to put in the author…

Mary Chapin Carpenter – Stones in the Road album, Jubiliee