Samhain Percolations

Our coven celebrated Samhain on Wednesday night. It was the full moon too but the group conscience says that we never mix a full moon with Samhain. We concentrate fully on the Sabbat.

far_too

I made a special dish, which I highly recommend, perfect for Samhain and those who are especially connected to Hekate. Chopped hard boiled eggs with mayo and pepper on the bottom layer, sweet onions (saved the walla walla’s for this), cream cheese and sour cream, topped with black caviar. You can take chopped parsley and “frost” the sides too but I didn’t. All Her favorites. Black, white, eggs, onions. Served on crackers, it was delicious. Spendy but I wanted to celebrate all the abundance that I’ve received of late.

Everyone brought their divination tools. Before hand we were drawing cards and ogham sticks and I was getting some really great stuff. Pulled the 9 of cups from my High Priest’s deck. Niiiiice.

We had the ancestor altar and a large dumb supper. I had remembered to bring two photos because I printed them off at work and completely forgot the photos of my ancestors. So I had the photo of me and Joel and one of Steve Marriott. LMAO. I figured that my ancestors were close enough and I did got messages from all of them. But I got a lot of stuff from Joel and Steve. What was really weird is that folks kept saying things that were titles and lyrics from S.M.’s songs, including one of my favorite love songs, Say No More. It was a little uncanny after awhile.

During the ritual we had a lot of drumming and rattles and singing and dancing, really frikking cool, the coolest ever. The God took each of us to the divination corner one at a time while this was going on. I did a brief grounding and meditation, talked to Joel and Steve (and Alva and Lou and Nana and Beebo and Grandpa Uncle Bill), pulled some cards from my DruidCraft deck. Thanks guys, that about sums it up. Smiled my ass off. Suffice it to say that I got a lot of high cup cards that night. Went back to the group, picked up my rattle, and tranced out and yet remained fully there.

Asked an ancestor that was of my blood to show up. I’m adopted so all my ancestors are not of the blood. I was curious who might be connected to me in that way. And I got some voodoo queen, all caribbean, rattles and snakes and fire and blood and rum, Papa Legba and Urzulie. Extremely interesting images and energy. How frikking cool and very curious since my Mom’s family is from Kingston Barbados. Perhaps, blood or no blood, they are still my ancestors.

And I said a long and heartfelt goodbye to Joel, thanked him again for all the good. Asked him to send me someone to love who had many of his qualities and who would be a strong love like ours but without the drunkeness and womanizing. *wink*

It has to be the best ritual I’ve ever attended. I’ve attended a few Samhains that have knocked my socks off, my favorite sabbat of all, but this one was just amazing. I can’t even tell you about the drawing down the goddess part. Really, I can’t even tell you. Holy Mother, it was astonishing though.

So, tonight I’m gonna boogie til the rooster crows or I turn into a pumpkin…

Let It Be

I took a long drive today. Had lunch in the foothills of our mountains here. While sitting in the restaurant’s garden this song came on the speakers. And I burst into hard, very sad, tears. I have been looking for an answer, some kind of message. And there it was. Just as I asked. So. I’ve made a couple decisions today.

  • I’m going to work the steps again with my sponsor (she suggested it, I fought it, I accepted).
  • I’m going to move this blog and here it is!
  • I’m getting a new email address and moving as many accounts as possible to the new address.
  • I’m moving on as best I can. Feelings have been hurt all around that’s for sure. It couldn’t be helped, we both have cause, the first action had to be done. There are serious losses on both sides, some felt more keenly than others. Time to move on to the future.

I seriously thought about continuing to drive until I found a “Help Wanted” sign in some small town and hiding out for awhile. I seriously considered dying by the river. I seriously considered drinking. I seriously considered living. I’m going to live. My parents, no matter how confused they are over this matter and no matter how we disagree on it, need me. They need me. And I can’t abandon them. And Miss Mitty. She needs stability and I can’t just disappear on her. And my friend Nancy said she’d kill me.  *laugh*  I love my friends.  This too shall pass. The wheel will turn, although I wouldn’t complain if it sped up a bit towards the top right now.

So. I’m going to do the footwork in front of me. I’m going to hide as much as I can from those who don’t wish me well. I’m going to do all I can so that those who love me can find me. I’m going to do my best to lick my wounds and get on with it. I’m going to flourish. I’m going to prosper. I’m going to send love and healing to those who don’t understand what I’m doing or why. I’m going to send love and healing to myself because I totally understand what I’m doing and why.

Tonight is the coven’s Mabon celebration and I’m having trouble figuring out what my harvest is this year. I hope I get that answer soon as well.

Joyous Mabon

Untitled-1

(artist: Jennifer Hewitson from Scott Cunningham’s Kitchen Witch book)

The coven doesn’t celebrate until tomorrow night but it’s all good. Harvest is harvest. What’s a couple minutes between friends.  Feast time!!!

I have a date tonight with M.  I’ve been getting confusing messages this past week. Then yesterday with the mild flirting.  This guy.  *laughs and shakes head*  He’s so confused about what he wants and I think he’s afraid to really fall.  But he’s cooking dinner at his suggestion and invitation, he wants me over there early (don’t know if that’s because he wants to see me or because he wants to kick me out early, I really can’t tell!), I’m bringing the movie and the ginger beer.  He suggested Harold and Maude, I’m bringing Spinal Tap.  Avoiding the romantic flirtations if I can.  If he makes a move he’s getting a talking to and then he’s either leaping or leaving.  Or rather I’m leaving because it’s his place not mine.  heh.  This time the pentagram is on the ring love finger.  I’m going with protection.  No worries, I’m not falling on my own again.  (I only want consistency, see the Epiphany post, not a fracture.  I can live with whichever way he wants to go, its all good, I just want to stop the push me pull you activity, no judgment)

The trees are turning.

There is an avenue of trees near my home, don’t know what they are but they turn bright yellow practically over night and all the leaves are on the ground in a matter of two days.  They turn the fastest of any tree I know.  So right after Mabon I’m driving under bare trees.

The other avenue, an old stand of some kind of ash that turns purple in the autumn is starting to turn.  Love driving down this vista.  Other trees are showing the red and the orange.  We’ve had a good hard rain, lots of wind, and today will be 86 degrees.  September is my absolute favorite month of all.

The corn is sweet and tender and almost gone.

The birds are starting to ask to be fed again.

The cat is putting on a little weight and her fur is suddenly thicker.

I’ve unpacked my sweaters but haven’t packed my summer clothes yet.  The heaviest coats are still in a box but the transition has begun.

The gauzy scarves are hanging on the closet door, ready and waiting.

I have food in the fridge, my phone is turned back on, I’m calling my lawyer today about the car.  I’m in the solution in all things and I feel fine.

Getting Nekkid

Oh, I had the bestest time I did.

We had a really wonderful drive north to the property.  Chatted all the way.  About all kinds of interesting things.  About 5 miles before our destination we veered off and drove to the top of the ridge to see the view of the Puget Sound and the San Juan Islands.  We saw a soaring eagle (the second one for me in two days) and heard the ravens, and on the side of the road, just a few feet from the car, we saw a deer.  It started to walk away but I called out to it (animal guide) and he stopped and looked and wiggled his soft nose and shook his young antlers at us.  Aaaaaah.

Continue reading