Did You See That?

Was it so quick, so subtle, that it passed right over your head? I know it passed right over MINE.

In the previous post I wrote:

I can afford it…

Now mind you I was talking about acrylic yarn that I got at Joann’s and I used coupons and a sale on yarn to do it (I bought 20 skeins) but man, I said it.

I. Can. Afford. It.

I really can’t remember the last time I said that.  And guess what?  This Friday??  I get paid. AGAIN!!  What a novel and fun idea.  Twice a month like clockwork I am going to get paid. Who knew that would feel like wide open spaces instead of not enough.

I love my job. I love the people I work with. I actually do have the nicest boss.  They think I’m doing a great job.  No nasty comments about my competence. This job was made for me for exactly where I am right now in my career and personal growth. I couldn’t have asked for a better fit. Oh. Wait. I guess I did!!!

And I am in love. LOVE LOVE LOVE.  And guess what? We still have not had sex. I know. ME. It took a man like Mr. Furnace to inspire me, try me, wait for me, to organically let everything happen when it feels perfect.  We celebrated our first Valentine’s together with friends eating sushi and whatever you call it when they cook japanese style in front of you with flaming volcano onions and stuff. And cake. Heh. Low key. Very nice. Perfect. I am looking forward to the very new experience of actually having sex for the first time with a man I already know loves me, who has fought with me, cried with me, laughed with me, knows me, trusts me, and I him. For some people that is a given.  For someone with my background not so much. To do this consciously as a gift to ourselves. Of course with life you never know, maybe it won’t happen but I don’t think so. I think it will happen in my core. I have no idea when and I’m okay with that. Completely okay. Because I’ve never felt so fulfilled with a man just holding hands and twining legs, shoulder rubs and head massages and a smooch here and there. FULFILLED.

Our favorite activities?  Watching “stupid tv” (Cash Cab and Jeopardy and the Rick Mercer Report and The Daily Show being our favs), eating, holding hands, laughing, and sometimes me crocheting.  Just enjoying each others company, letting things unfold as they will with full faith everything is perfect. Last weekend I spent the night. This weekend I’m going to Portland to see a dear friend for gab and cheer and sushi and Powell’s Books.  And because it is a 3-day weekend, I’m coming home to do it again.  Spend the night with Mr. Furnace. Holding hands.

Life is very, VERY, good right now and I deserve it.  I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy, partly because life has been life and partly because I wasn’t who I am now.  Someone who finally learned to enjoy herself come hell or high water but who got heaven instead.

And because this is my favorite movie of the year….

Love Is In The Air

love love love

pink clouds


life is good

this is what I’m doing right now…  A granny blanket.  Acrylic. OMG.  I could afford it and the colors were nummy and with a cat who randomly pukes all over my house in the three hair balls seasons, well, it’s good to be machine washable…

The Waiting

Waiting… I’m getting better at it.


It’s been an interesting week on the job front.

I knew two weeks ago that I didn’t get a certain job I applied for, the signs were all there. So when they called me last week to schedule a third interview was kind of disappointed. See, I’m really wanting to manifest that one job, the plum. Being in a position to have to choose or accept a different position because I would be a total fool to say no to anyone, well I was trying not to assume and not to future trip, but it made me nervous.

So I had the interview for the plum on Monday. It well went but I’ve learned that it means nothing. There are absolutely no indicators that you did or did not get a job until they say you did or didn’t get the job. I had the interview on Wednesday, the third for that one job. It gave me breathing room. But things are getting interesting.

They told me that they felt my qualifications, especially technically, were superior to the position I originally interviewed for. They are looking at me for another position, one that would be the lead producer on their mobile/apps division. Holy Guacamole!!!  So we had a nice chat and I wait.

I’m in the running for both jobs.  They are both great jobs. Great for my resume. One will offer more money but lesser benefits than the other. The other will offer me great benefits and my seniority back. I wait.

I really hope that one of them offers me a place.


Mr. Furnace asked me a couple weeks ago to see each other exclusively.  Not that either of us were dating anyone else but it is a real step and it is is an agreement between two people.  After that he asked me to his parent’s home for Christmas Day dinner.  That is a real step.  Last week he said we are “official.”

Before anyone make the leap that I’m not acting like an independent woman or that this is old school or what the hell ever I have to say this. Mr. Furnace is, in his words, “an uber fixer upper.”  He is correct in this statement. I am an uber fixer upper too. We have been doing this grand experiment for 7 months now.  Holy Moly.  We still only hold hands and cuddle and stuff. But the kisses are no longer grandma kisses.  The steps of progress might be subtle to others but given time, like I have, I see the steps very clearly.  It is good. It is fabulous! I’m starting, just starting, to feel comfortable. To feel safe. I’ve never felt that in a relationship, not really. And there is still room for me to grow here, I am not fully comfortable or safe or trusting. But I’m getting there and I’m getting there honestly, slowly.  It is the right thing to do.


Dad is really starting to fail. Poor guy.  He knows when he’s confused and confused he really is. Mom is getting tired and I’m starting to get opportunities to help more, especially this week since she had cataract surgery. She has another one in 2 weeks. She can’t drive but there are other helpers. He remains mostly cheerful against the pain and disappointment of losing his mind. We are getting the social workers involved, we need someone to help us find options for home care and eventually outside living arrangements.


I’m working on the Rigid Container (search for posts). The final stages of gold painting and possible burning before final varnish.  Soon, soon, photos.

Over all a good start to the New Year….


Christmas Presence

I celebrate Christmas too.  Why not.  My family does and it matters not to me if it happens on the 21st (Winter Solstice) or the 24th (Dad’s birthday) or the 25th (originally Mithras’ birthday).  What it is all about for me is love.  And man, I’ve had it in abundance this year. It has been a very trying year, full of stumbles but also full of growth and the more I grow the better it gets and the better I handle the stumbles.

The issue with Mr. Furnace’s ex played out to its conclusion last Friday and things got back to normal.  We continue to create a solid foundation for our relationship based on love, common beliefs, and a range of other things. Neither Mr. Furnace and I have much money, especially not this year, and so it was all about the love.

I have had a blast this December making things for people I love, going to a lot of meetings, and man, the love has been coming back to me a thousand fold. Seriously.  If I had 2 friends last Christmas I have dozens this year. I’ve received a slew of yule cards with some really amazing notes in them. One white rose. Hugs. Wonderful lunches with friends after the noon meetings. It’s been very festive. As you know, I even decorated my home this year.

Mr. Furnace invited me to spend last evening with his closest friends. An honor on so many levels. I did not take it for granted that I would be included in anything of his usual activities. Oh my. We had a total blast. Man. Prime rib, crab, artichokes, appetisers, sugar, savory, a feast to behold. The energy of these folks was so warm, so loving, so generous. We had an absolutely fabulous time.  And then we went to Mr. Furance’s house.

Where he and I opened presents, ate leftovers, zoned out, a little massage, a lot of laughter.

I got home with the words “best christmas EVER as an adult” on my lips. Best. EVER.

And I just got invited to his parents house for dinner.  A surprise, total surprise. I figured he wasn’t ready for that but suddenly he is and I’m dressed and passing the minutes until it’s time to go.

Best. EVER.

I have a job interview on the 3rd for a job that would be a plum. A feather in my cap. The best job ever to put on my resume.  And somehow something is feeling very right.  I never thought I’d get the interview so have to say it’s an honor to be nominated but I just has this feeling.  Light your candles for me, this one matters and not just because I need employment. This one MATTERS. And yes, if I were to get it, it would have been worth the entire last 3 years.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

Love you all bunches and bunches and may your season be filled with lots more of that!!