Category Archives: Life in the Verse

The Beauty and Wonder of Friends

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And chosen family.

My birthday is coming up soon as I’ve made sure you know.  But someone knew about this that I hadn’t directly told.

On Wednesday we had our coven’s Litha rites.  Just before circle my High Priest, who the more I know, the more I just adore, took me aside and put something in my hand.

He said, “I almost never give gold as a present, but I want this to remind you of your true value.  I don’t think you know this much of the time. Happy Birthday.”  Something very close to that.  I wish I had a built in recorder but I don’t.

Verklempt I tell you.

I hope that I always stay right sized enough that wonderful things like this will always bring me to tears. And I hope that I will remember that, my true value.

Because I tell you, on days like this week has been full of, it’s sometimes really hard to remember. My parents have been very supportive lately even with all the drama and I’m grateful for that too.  I’m adopted and have always considered my parents my chosen family.  It is the family we choose that makes it all worthwhile, coven or otherwise.

So Wednesday was a very good, VERY GOOD, day.

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The Unbearable Lightness of Being is More Bearable

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I made some decisions today which have caused me to feel lighter. Today I had to write two very difficult letters. I spent a lot of time agonizing over the wording of them. I did all I could to keep it to “I” statements. To only discuss my side of things. To keep it unemotional. To keep it to my side of the street. Knowing that both letters were going to hurt none the less. Continue reading →

Broken Wings

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“His heart was growing full of broken wings and artificial flowers,” wrote poet Federico Garcia Lorca. “In his mouth, just one small word was left.” There were times during the first half of June when I was tempted to borrow those words to describe you, Cancerian. Now, thankfully, you’re moving into a much brighter phase. The buds that are about to bloom in your heart are very much alive, not artificial, and your wings, while not fully restored to strength, are healing. Meanwhile, your mouth is even now being replenished with a fresh supply of many vivid words.

This made me cry. Nothing I could have written could have expressed so succinctly and yet so touchingly exactly how I’ve been feeling.  OMG.  Please Gracious Goddess and Great God, so mote it be.

Reunion part deux

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Just some pics from our good times. And this:

I went to my Friday 12 step meeting before the first reunion event. My meeting is called Last Chance. I get in the car to drive to the reunion event which is to be held at Slim’s Last Chance. The CD starts playing “Last Chance for Losers” from one of the local bands. And when I arrive, behind the band is a mural with a huge booze jug with bones crossed behind it and it says Last Chance. If there was any doubt before then that perhaps I didn’t need to quit, well, duh…

Friends Forever

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The Four Horsemen ~ Roomies at the Band House Annex and Pool Party Club

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Me and several other friends on stage with The Runaway Trains. We backup singers were The Hottentots.  Too much fun.

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I had a great time, but I love my life, odd as it is right now, and I wouldn’t go back. Loving the memories.

Denouement

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We ask that you not divulge the climax of the epic story to anyone — at least until you’ve let it sink in for a while and felt all the reverberations it has unleashed. After that, you’ll be wise to speak about it only with skilled listeners and empathetic allies who can help you harvest the meaning of all the clues that were packed inside your adventures. One further counsel: Before you reach the absolute, final denouement of the drama, there may be a tricky turn that looks a lot like the ending.

Sorry gang, that most of my posts have been strictly horoscopic. There’s simply nothing much to report. I wait, I keep waiting.

I find this week’s horoscope somewhat fear inducing and somewhat fear releasing.  I did call the dept. with the job that I really, really want.  The hiring manager was on vacation and so overwhelmed with applications (duh) that she hadn’t made her short list yet.  She returned to work Monday, here’s hoping that something happens soon.  There is still hope that I will be on that short list.

It’s that tricky turn that looks like an ending but appears to not be an ending that has me a bit nervous.  Frankly I’m just wiped out.  I go through my days, sober and calm (calm for the most part), but as soon as I start writing about it, all the emotions bubble to the surface.  I’m so very tired.  Don’t really need no frikking tricky turns, not emotionally. I mean really, how many must I endure to make it to the other side.  And I’m sick of well meaning people saying stuff like “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” or “what’s the lesson?”  as though I’m too stupid to know how this all works.  Fer cryin’ out loud, shut up and take me to lunch and tell me it will all be okay.

It was my goal to have a job and a lover by my birthday.  Seventeen more days to see if I make the deadline.  I’m feeling pretty skeptical.  That’s a lot to accomplish.  Perhaps the birth of the new will be a bit overdue…