Author Archives: Cynthia

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About Cynthia

I am a textile artist, embroiderer, wood burner, costumer, painter, and weaver who sees magic and change in the chain stitch and a well done Palestrina knot. I wish I had more control over the ways of the human world but alas, all I can control are my actions and my attitude in life and the consistency of my stitches. And sometimes even that doesn’t pan out as hoped and I must rip rip rip.

Countdown to the faire and the public Beltaine ritual

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I requested, and received, tomorrow off.* Yay! I can stay up late tonight finishing the checkbook covers (3 of the 4 will be completed in time).

Checklist:

  • make SAMPLE tags for, well, samples, things not for sale
  • price things that are for sale for the right price, read VERY HIGH price (hat, tunic, faery jacket, faery purse)
  • finish checkbook covers
  • make those two pairs of earrings I keep putting off
  • hangers
  • table cloths and display cloths
  • business cards and tray
  • bags for purchased pouches
  • bags for purchased earrings
  • banners
  • pouches
  • earrings
  • samples (hat, robe, shirt, tunic, goblet bag, jean jacket, faery jacket, faery purse)
  • rain boots for boggy stone circle
  • sunscreen (forecast says sun breaks and 63 Yay!)
  • chair
  • lunch and cooler
  • water and soda
  • warm coat for after dusk
  • sketch book, pencil, pen
  • project (get some pillows started)
  • protection powder
  • charm to make my bags and earrings irresistible *wink*
  • a NAP
  • pack it all into the rolling suitcase

Goodness I hope I don’t forget anything.

*All boss says is “Do you have time accrued?” Duh. Would I ask for time off if I didn’t have time accrued? Anyway…

Compassion vs Personal Responsibility

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Yesterday I wrote a rant in response to some comments I received. The main reason why I deleted those comments was to keep anonymous the folks who wrote them. To let them save face. For me that allowed me to perform a compassionate act in the middle of a rant.

Last night I found myself musing on the idea of compassion and where does it end and the expectation of personal responsibility on the part of others begin.

For example. I know my boss is a very sad, very frightened human being. Somewhere he learned that he was supposed to be perfect. I knew that my Ex was trying not to confront SNIB, trying to make new friends, to feel independent, and to keep me happy (an impossible situation). And I do feel compassion for them. I really do. It’s why I tried for so many months to tell The Ex why I thought the situation with SNIB was not working and what I believed was going on. It’s why I sat my boss down a couple weeks ago and told him temper tantrums in my office are not only not acceptable but not legal by state employment laws. If I had no compassion I would have simply reported the boss and let him swing and I would have dumped The Ex months before we split.

I firmly believe that sometimes the compassionate thing to do is to talk to someone about their behavior. I believe that venting over the frustrations and stress that are a natural part of being human is compassionate. Othewise I’d just explode all over them and Make. Them. Pay. I try really hard to give folks a chance to look at what they are doing and how it is effecting others. Give them the opportunity to want to change.

I think that just because someone warrants compassion it doesn’t mean they don’t also warrant what I call “A Come To Jesus Meeting.” In other words, to see the light, to have your behavior reflected back at you.

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Venting and how I feel about it

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I know some of you all mean well (and perhaps some of you do not) … but please…

Please actually read the about me page. If you can’t make it there I’ll quote :

“Mostly, though, this space is about me. All about me. I live my life day to day. I do the best I can with what I have at any given moment. Some days I am happy and healthy and wise. Some days I most decidedly am not. I reserve the right to keep this a safe and sacred space for myself. Discussion is welcome as long as everyone understands this: You do not have to agree with me. You do not have to like me. You don’t even have to read this blog.”

Edit: I added a bit to the About Me page that warns that if I have “venting” in the subject line probably just best to leave it alone and not comment. That my Leo in Mercury comes roaring out of the cave and barks if not bites.

Do not, NOT, tell me how you think I should feel. When I’m upset don’t tell me I should feel sorry for the other person and move on. You are violating sacred space when you do that. Your comments will not be approved.

Perhaps this doesn’t tell you much when I say I am a sober alcoholic so I think perhaps I need to elaborate on what that really means.
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I know! Too many posts per day…

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I suffer from the dilemma of thinking that each topic should have it’s own post. I could write one post per day, big and long and scattered. Or write several posts that are focused and organized by category. And since this is for me to refer back to as well as to be interesting, I’ve decided that is the way it must be. The good news for you who can’t keep up is that I never write on the weekends as I don’t have computer access on those days. And sometimes these are really organizational notes to self.

So…

I keep brainstorming things I can make that would be fun for people to buy and enjoy. I am going through my house every evening pulling things I can display as samples and for ideas for things to make and commissions I can do.

This wool bag, lined with vintage linen, and embroidered with silk ribbon, perl cotton, and wool applique, was made to hold two silver plated goblets I have. I am saving the goblets for the day when I have a partner who will hold sabbats and esbats with me… (and before you think that’s nuts, let me just say I consider that to be part of the visualization, I have red toothbrush waiting for him too. *wink*)

Goblet Bag
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Ta Da! C’est Miracle! Snoopy Happy Dance!

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Last night I was making a little batch of protection powder. I’d looked some recipes up online and pretty much found the same one repeated all over the place. Went to my trusty Scott Cunningham’s Oil and Brews and there, right there, was the same recipe. Folks on the internet are posting SC’s recipes as their own. Tsk Tsk…

So, I’m mixing the recipe:

2 parts Dragon’s Blood Resin
2 parts Sandalwood
1 part Salt
(Thanks Scott!!!)

I go to my supply cabinet and get the shoe box with the bottles and jars and funnels and stuff. I remove the big bag of buckwheat hulls, dig around, get a bottle.

After much grindage with the mortar and pestle (oi my hands, salt and db resin are HARD), I see I’m going to need either a bigger bottle or a second bottle. I decide on a second bottle so that I can use the small one for a very specific purpose and then keep the rest in stock.

I open the same box, the size of a shoe box remember, not a big box, no place to hide, I was in 10 miunutes ago and remove the buckwheat hulls and what do you think is sitting right there under the bag of hulls and above the bag of bottles? Just guess. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to look twice before I believed what was right in front of me.

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