God give me patience. 6 more days. And only 4 with him.
He sent out my going away lunch invitation to half of our current staff but not the other half and not me. He never got the invite list from me. Many of my friends were not invited. Some folks who tolerate me and I tolerate them were invited. Thank god I asked for a lunch so that I don’t have to really talk to anyone specifically. Stupidest man on earth…
Just saying…
They have decided to keep The Village Idiot. Which is absolutely no surprise and while it is too bad for the department, they really were in a jam. The Big Kahuni leaves for a year sabbatical in New York in September and to leave her fill in with the job of relacing TVI seemed like a cruel thing to do. So, he will stay just to keep there from being a gigantic gap. Edit: They have only decided not to have me work as a contract hourly in August. He could still be fired at any moment. Evidently he is in terribly hot water from his eval yesterday. One strains the mind to think he can really fix a thing in so little time. I look forward to the final decree. Jeez. Evidently his work plan was a bust including replacing me with a part time student. *smirk*
Which is good news for me in the sense that I no longer feel obligated to give to them. So I shortened my stay to the 18th instead of the 24th. Only four days and considering I gave them 5+ weeks notice, it’s still a generous move. But I am so frikking done. TVI? Has decided to take my last week off on vacation. He will not be here to get training from me or my assistant on the new newsletter cms he ordered. Why should I stay then? There is no point to staying if he isn’t here. I just love leaving him to figure it out on his own on the 28th when the newsletter ships the 29th. I hope it is a horrible death throe but I will not be here to watch. Muwahahahahahaha. He must be the stupidest man alive.
I realized the last few days and after a good chat with a dear friend, R, that I have simply had too much grieving going on in my life these past 7 months. While I was able to grieve the two cats I lost last December and January and I have moved on from the loss of Jean, I have not had the time to grieve the loss of Narcissus (the shithead, self-absorbed, juvenile ex, a little voice says he is no loss, good riddance, but loss it is, I gave my heart fully and must get it back) nor the loss of my first ever dream job.
I spent today getting a laptop case that I will have to return. My laptop is just about 1.25″ too wide for all the 17″ cases out there. So I must make one. I’ll be the only person with a teal faux suede with embroidery and sequins any where in the world.
I also spent part of the afternoon uploading software and configuring things. What is really truly awesome is that I’m on the internet right now. Wireless. With a free connection. I live near a very busy business district (you coudn’t tell that from my garden photos could you) and there are tons of free wireless connections here.
I was also signing a contract for a website redesign and being given the important facts and contact information for another new website. I spent this evening putting together, and sending, a proposal. There are no excuses this month because I’m working full time. Too bad, so sad. If that second proposal is accepted, oh pretty pretty please, perhaps I can put aside enough to basically pay for all my opening expenses and take some of August off and be a lady of recuperating leisure.
I got my business cards printed and cut too. All this and it was 88 degrees today.
Off to water the garden as it is completely wilted… That angelica just doesn’t take as much heat and dryness as anything else in the garden. It looks sad twice a week easily.
I got a fortune cookie today and it said: Your Labor will Bear Many Rewards. Now that’s a good omen. On the altar it goes tonight for a little bit of good job juju.
LIfe is Good and Very Good.
Blessed Be.
The other day I wrote about being master of my destiny. Didn’t mean to imply I hadn’t been, just speaking in prose about my career.
Then looking back over some old posts, I found this quote from a horoscope.
Now here are Welch’s rules for success: 1. Control your destiny or someone else will. 2. Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it would be. 3. Be candid with everyone. 4. Change before you have to.
This really is important today. Our Associate Director just came by to privately tell me how sorry she is about how things went down here. She was clearly really sad about it. She said I will be truly missed. That The Big Kahuni told her what was going on. And that tells me that TVI is going to keep his job. It’s foolish on their part because never again will it be so easy to get rid of him. But I must face reality. I will not be working here part time with bennies.
This makes me sad and it scares me a bit. I am doing well with the four rules for success. And it must be accepted that when one is doing this type of thing, leaping into the unknown, that there is opportunity for discomfort. Why is it that so often we are so uncomfortable with taking care of ourselves? I see her face all sad and hear actual tears n her voice and find it just stunning that they would rather keep him than me. Incompetent frightened little boy, competent and confident grown woman. WTF??? Why should I get any better than Anita Hill? Well, cuz it’s just a web job and cuz both of his bosses are women. What was I thinking?
Did I create this because it was what I thought they’d do even though I hoped they wouldn’t? Screw that. I am not to blame for TVI. I am leaving. Just like I did last time. No more will I put up with unfair treatment. But boy, the price feels a bit high for just taking care of yourself and insisting on simple rights.
I feel like myself again! I’m smiling at people again. I’m laughing. I’m talking to strangers. It’s good to be home again. I was even able to be nice this morning to the one person who being nice to has been so hard. Is that a sentence? A grammatically correct sentence? Do we care? No.
I decided on my drive home last night that I needed to mark this occassion with a treat. That this was a huge step in my life, off the steepest legal* cliff so far (well except for that adoption but I digress), and I needed to mark it. If I was Johnny Depp I’d get a new tattoo but I’m allergic to the nickle in tatto ink alas and I can’t drink so what were my options in the moment on the fly. I had a huge bag of books ready to go to half-price books conveniently in the back seat. Turned the car around et voila!
*many illegal cliffs in my past, it’s a wonder I’m free at all!
Stitch Witch Cottage 