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What you ask? What Reunion?

Back in the mid-late 80’s I was part of a gang of musicians, bands, girlfriends (me), and fans. We hung out for many years going on road trips, gigs, playing together socially. The playing socially included themed Christmas parties every year (formal, pajama, rent a school bus get a banquet license and a driver and go to mystery locations for specific activities). Two years in a row we entered the Seattle SeaFair Torchlight parade as a novelty band, Stump The Band. We made a banner, kilts out of orange and silver reflective tape and black pants with duct tape stripes, we had amps with batteries on hand trucks so it was electric as well, played local standards from Hendrix and the like including The Bluest Skies You’ve Ever Seen Are In Seattle from the old tv show Here Comes The Brides. We had so much fun. Yeah, I drank like a fish but this was before it was killing me. It was still fun.

This weekend is three days of activities for our 20th reunion. And it’s bringing up stuff. Like that I still have very fond memories of one particular ex. Nothing to be done there, that time has passed, it’s cool. We’re both now in our 50’s (me just) and I find that I just still love him. Just as he his. It was nice seeing him for lunch today. He’s married, don’t go getting all excited.  It’s just really nice to know that someone you once loved, well you still love each other on some level. That’s really nice.

Going to see many, many old friends, the girl I helped birth who is now 21 and her mama, a couple secret lovers, my ex-sister -in-law, and others. I’m really looking forward to it.

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That’s me, top right in the red t-shirt, dark hair, with my arms on the legs of my sweetie at the time.  Good times.

Getting Nekkid

Oh, I had the bestest time I did.

We had a really wonderful drive north to the property.  Chatted all the way.  About all kinds of interesting things.  About 5 miles before our destination we veered off and drove to the top of the ridge to see the view of the Puget Sound and the San Juan Islands.  We saw a soaring eagle (the second one for me in two days) and heard the ravens, and on the side of the road, just a few feet from the car, we saw a deer.  It started to walk away but I called out to it (animal guide) and he stopped and looked and wiggled his soft nose and shook his young antlers at us.  Aaaaaah.

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Eagles and Crows

Yesterday as I came out my front door, leaving for my regular Friday recovery meeting, I heard crows creating quite a ruckus. I looked up and right above my head, only about 30 feet above me, were about 10 crows chasing a bald eagle. Recently I came into contact with eagle consciousness, far vision, intuition, etc. At first I was dismayed to see so many crows going after the eagle and then I looked closer. The eagle wasn’t flapping her wings in fright, doing her best to get away, fast and far. She was languidly moving through the air, towards the east, taking her time, clearly saying, hey, I’m going but only because I actually want to and you amuse me.

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And I realized this is such a great metaphor for what I’ve been going through. Harried and pressured, I have just continued on my way, I was going that way anyway, and while it looks pretty bad to the casual glance, things are quite well. Even though I am down to my last $75. Again.  Continue reading

Forgiveness

“You may want to smash a painful emotion to bits, but you can’t blow it up with a nuclear bomb,” wrote Tsoknyi Rinpoche in his book Fearless Simplicity. What makes the situation even more poignant is that the painful emotion may be based on a wrong interpretation of experience. It may also be caused by some faulty conditioning that got imprinted on your sensitive psyche when you were a toddler. Having said that, Cancerian, I’m pleased to inform you that you currently have the power to significantly dissipate the intensity of a certain painful emotion you thought you’d never shake. To initiate the process, invoke forgiveness in every way you can imagine — toward those who hurt you, those who ignored you, those who misled you, and you yourself.

Probably a good time to let go of more than one. And to forgive all. I can do that. Most of the time I live there. Sometimes, not so much. But I can do this.

The one painful emotion I would really like to let go is DOUBT. Doubt that I will be taken care of, that I will find a job, that I am loved, that there is enough money, time, love, hope, peace, in this world.

I banish doubt

I Banish Doubt

I BANISH DOUBT

SMIB

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