Feelings are within us for a reason. They are the barometers of our spiritual condition. They let us know what our next course of action can be. It took me a long time, a very long time, probably many, many lifetimes to figure this out. Since I was having so much trouble and repeating similar patterns over these many lifetimes, I guess I decided that this time was the time to be done with that particular issue. So I came back as an out of control alcoholic.
In my recovery program we have many sayings, petit bon mot, that help us remember what we are trying to do. Stay sober. The one that I’m thinking about today is H.A.L.T. Never get too hungry, too angry, too lonely, too tired. I’m thinking of it because a family member asked me if I had any advice for them regarding the recent relapse of a mutual loved one. That was what I had.
I’m also thinking of it because I’ve been mulling over this post for a little while now. And when I typed lonely in my email to them, it struck me how I want to write this.
When I got sober I discovered a few things: I let my feelings run me and I had very few that I was accessing. Anger, frustration, sadness, and occasionally happiness or love. But mostly I lived in a cauldron of confusion that would burst out into rage or, occasionally, love. I pretty much had to be drunk to experience love and joy and then best not get too drunk or that would change quickly.
Holy Smokes! That sure is leaving out a lot of the emotions available to us. Yes, they gave us this little emotion face map.
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