Broken Wings

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“His heart was growing full of broken wings and artificial flowers,” wrote poet Federico Garcia Lorca. “In his mouth, just one small word was left.” There were times during the first half of June when I was tempted to borrow those words to describe you, Cancerian. Now, thankfully, you’re moving into a much brighter phase. The buds that are about to bloom in your heart are very much alive, not artificial, and your wings, while not fully restored to strength, are healing. Meanwhile, your mouth is even now being replenished with a fresh supply of many vivid words.

This made me cry. Nothing I could have written could have expressed so succinctly and yet so touchingly exactly how I’ve been feeling.  OMG.  Please Gracious Goddess and Great God, so mote it be.

Reunion part deux

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Just some pics from our good times. And this:

I went to my Friday 12 step meeting before the first reunion event. My meeting is called Last Chance. I get in the car to drive to the reunion event which is to be held at Slim’s Last Chance. The CD starts playing “Last Chance for Losers” from one of the local bands. And when I arrive, behind the band is a mural with a huge booze jug with bones crossed behind it and it says Last Chance. If there was any doubt before then that perhaps I didn’t need to quit, well, duh…

Friends Forever

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The Four Horsemen ~ Roomies at the Band House Annex and Pool Party Club

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Me and several other friends on stage with The Runaway Trains. We backup singers were The Hottentots.  Too much fun.

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I had a great time, but I love my life, odd as it is right now, and I wouldn’t go back. Loving the memories.

Wheel of the Year update

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I figured that I should document something other than the fact that I’m not working.  I’ve been working on the Wheel of the Year project again.  With most large projects I work on, I tend to get to a certain point of okayness, get overwhelmed with some aspet I didn’t think out as far as I could have, get bored, want to work on something else for awhile. Whatever the reason I set aside large projects for significant amounts of time. I haven’t worked on these panels in quite some time.   It appears to be March 2008.  Whoa.  I might have picked them up here and there but not for much.  But I keep them close and when I was moving into my folks home I thought it would a great portable project.

And I’m back in it and having a really great time.  At the time I started I told myself I would get all the basics stitched in and if I didn’t want to work on it more I would call it good and finish it up.  I’ve decided that I want this to be taken to the nth degree.  I’m going to put a lot more into these panels.  More than I show here even. I want this thing embellished as much as possible and have accepted that this might take me a very long time.   The backgrounds are going to be filled in more.  I can hardly wait to see how this all works out.

I’ve made some small and large changes to several of the panels.  I will show how the panels looked in March 08 and how they look today. Clickie make biggie…

Yule – added snow and snowflakes (crystals), the white made a huge difference, not sure if it shows in the photo but things really pop now.

Then:

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Denouement

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We ask that you not divulge the climax of the epic story to anyone — at least until you’ve let it sink in for a while and felt all the reverberations it has unleashed. After that, you’ll be wise to speak about it only with skilled listeners and empathetic allies who can help you harvest the meaning of all the clues that were packed inside your adventures. One further counsel: Before you reach the absolute, final denouement of the drama, there may be a tricky turn that looks a lot like the ending.

Sorry gang, that most of my posts have been strictly horoscopic. There’s simply nothing much to report. I wait, I keep waiting.

I find this week’s horoscope somewhat fear inducing and somewhat fear releasing.  I did call the dept. with the job that I really, really want.  The hiring manager was on vacation and so overwhelmed with applications (duh) that she hadn’t made her short list yet.  She returned to work Monday, here’s hoping that something happens soon.  There is still hope that I will be on that short list.

It’s that tricky turn that looks like an ending but appears to not be an ending that has me a bit nervous.  Frankly I’m just wiped out.  I go through my days, sober and calm (calm for the most part), but as soon as I start writing about it, all the emotions bubble to the surface.  I’m so very tired.  Don’t really need no frikking tricky turns, not emotionally. I mean really, how many must I endure to make it to the other side.  And I’m sick of well meaning people saying stuff like “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” or “what’s the lesson?”  as though I’m too stupid to know how this all works.  Fer cryin’ out loud, shut up and take me to lunch and tell me it will all be okay.

It was my goal to have a job and a lover by my birthday.  Seventeen more days to see if I make the deadline.  I’m feeling pretty skeptical.  That’s a lot to accomplish.  Perhaps the birth of the new will be a bit overdue…

Oh

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What you ask? What Reunion?

Back in the mid-late 80’s I was part of a gang of musicians, bands, girlfriends (me), and fans. We hung out for many years going on road trips, gigs, playing together socially. The playing socially included themed Christmas parties every year (formal, pajama, rent a school bus get a banquet license and a driver and go to mystery locations for specific activities). Two years in a row we entered the Seattle SeaFair Torchlight parade as a novelty band, Stump The Band. We made a banner, kilts out of orange and silver reflective tape and black pants with duct tape stripes, we had amps with batteries on hand trucks so it was electric as well, played local standards from Hendrix and the like including The Bluest Skies You’ve Ever Seen Are In Seattle from the old tv show Here Comes The Brides. We had so much fun. Yeah, I drank like a fish but this was before it was killing me. It was still fun.

This weekend is three days of activities for our 20th reunion. And it’s bringing up stuff. Like that I still have very fond memories of one particular ex. Nothing to be done there, that time has passed, it’s cool. We’re both now in our 50’s (me just) and I find that I just still love him. Just as he his. It was nice seeing him for lunch today. He’s married, don’t go getting all excited.  It’s just really nice to know that someone you once loved, well you still love each other on some level. That’s really nice.

Going to see many, many old friends, the girl I helped birth who is now 21 and her mama, a couple secret lovers, my ex-sister -in-law, and others. I’m really looking forward to it.

jonahsSpokane

That’s me, top right in the red t-shirt, dark hair, with my arms on the legs of my sweetie at the time.  Good times.